XI.

ANOTHER, IN CHESTER.

THE walls of this town

Are full of renown,

And strangers delight to walk round 'em ;

3

But as for the dwellers,

Both buyers and sellers,

For me you may hang 'em or drown 'em.

XII.

ANOTHER, AT HOLYHEAD.

O NEPTUNE! Neptune! must I still
Be here detain'd against my will?
Is this your justice, when I'm come
Above two hundred miles from home,

O'er mountains steep, o'er dusty plains,

Half chok'd with dust, half drown'd with rains,
Only your godship to implore,

To let me kiss your other shore?
A boon so small! but I may weep,
Whilst you're, like Baal, fast asleep.

XIII.

EPIGRAM.

As Thomas was cudgell'd one day by his wife, He took to the street, and fled for his life;

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5

ΤΟ

Tom's three dearest friends came by in the squabble, And sav'd him at once from the shrew and the rabble; Then ventur'd to give him some sober advice- 5 But Tom is a person of honour so nice,

Too wise to take counsel, too proud to take warning, That he sent to all three a challenge next morning: Three duels he fought, thrice ventur'd his life; Went home, and was cudgell'd again by his wife. 10

AN INSCRIPTION,

INTENDED FOR A COMPARTMENT IN DR.
SWIFT'S MONUMENT,

Designed by Cunningham, on College-Green, Dublin.
SAY, to the Drapier's vast unbounded fame,
What added honours can the sculptor give?
None.-'Tis a sanction from the Drapier's name-
Must bid the sculptor and his marble live.
June 4. 1765.

XIV.

AN EPIGRAM,

OCCASIONED BY THE ABOVE INSCRIPTION.

WHICH gave the Drapier birth two realms contend,
And each asserts her poet, patriot, friend.
Her mitre jealous Britain may deny'
That loss Iernia's laurel shall supply;

3

Thro' life's low vale she, grateful, gave him bread; Her vocal stones shall vindicate him dead.

B. N.

XV.

A French gentleman, dining with some company on a fast-day, called for some bacon and eggs: the rest were very angry, and reproved him for so heinous a sin; whereupon he wrote the following lines extempore.

"PEUT en croire avec bon sens
"Qu'un lardon le mit en colere ?
"Ou que manger un harang,
"C'est un secret pour luy plaire?
"En sa gloire envelopé

"Songe t'il bien de nos soupé ?"

IN ENGLISH.

WHO can believe, with common sense,
A bacon-slice gives God offence?
Or how a herring hath a charm
Almighty vengeance to disarm ?
Wrapt up in majesty divine,
Does he regard on what we dine ?

XVI.

THE BALANCE OF EUROPE. Now Europe's balanc'd, neither side prevails, For nothing's left in either of the scales.

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6

2

I. AN ELEGY

On the supposed death of

PARTRIDGE THE ALMANAC-MAKER.

WELL, 'tis as Bickerstaff has guest,
Tho' we all took it for a jest:

Patridge is dead: nay, more, he dy'd
Ere he could prove the good 'squire ly'd.
Strange an astrologer should die
Without one wonder in the sky!
Not one of all his crony stars
Το pay their duty at his herse!
No meteor, no eclipse, appear'd!
No comet with a flaming beard!
The sun has rose and gone to bed
Just as if Patridge were not dead,
Nor hid himself behind the moon,
To make a dreadful night at noon :
He at fit periods walks thro' Aries,
Howe'er our earthly motion varies,
And twice a-year he'll cut th' equator,
As if there had been no such matter.

Some wits have wonder'd what analogy
There is 'twixt cobbling and astrology;

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10

15

20

How Partridge made his optics rise
From a shoe-sole to reach the skies.
A list the cobbler's temples ties,
To keep the hair out of his eyes,
From whence 'tis plain the diadem
That princes wear derives from them;
And therefore crowns are now-a-days
Adorn'd with golden stars and rays,
Which plainly shews the near alliance
'Twixt cobbling and the planets' science.
Besides, that slow-pac'd sign Bootes,
As 'tis miscall'd, we know not who 'tis ;
But Partridge ended all disputes;
He knew his trade, and call'd it Boots.

The horned moon, which heretofore

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36

35

(A great refinement in barometry)
Can, like the stars, foretel the weather;
And what is parchment else but leather?
Which an astrologer might use
Either for almanacs or shoes.

Thus Partridge, by his wit and parts,

At once did practise both these arts :
Volume IV.

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