Then come old age whene'er it will,
Your friendship shall continue still;
And thus a mutual gentle fire
Shall never but with life expire.

APOLLO:

OR, A PROBLEM SOLVED.

Written in the year 1731.

APOLLO, god of Light and Wit,
Could verse inspire, but seldom writ;
Refin'd all metals with his looks,
As well as chymists by their books;
As handsome as my Lady's page;
Sweet five-and-twenty was his age.
His wig was made of sunny rays;
He crown'd his youthful head with bays.
Not all the court of heav'n could show
So nice and so complete a beau.

No heir upon his first appearance,

With twenty thousand pounds a-year rents,
E'er drove, before he sold his land,

So fine a coach along the Strand:
The spokes, we are by Ovid told,
Were silver, and the axle gold.
(I own 'twas but a coach and four,
For Jupiter allows no more.)

Yet with his beauty, wealth, and parts,
Enough to win ten thousand hearts,

No vulgar deity above
Was so unfortunate in love.

Three weighty causes were assign'd,
That mov'd the nymphs to be unkind.
Nine Muses always waiting round him,
He left them virgins as he found 'em.
His singing was another fault,
For he could reach to B in alt;
And, by the sentiments of Pliny,
Such singers are like Nicolini.
At last the point was fully clear'd;
In short, Apollo had no beard.

JUDAS.

Written in the year 1731.

By the just vengeance of incensed skies

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30

Poor Bishop Judas late repenting dies.
The Jews engag'd him with a paltry bribe,'
Amounting hardly to a crown a-tribe;
Which tho' his conscience forc'd him to restore, 5
(And parsons tell us no man can do more)
Yet thro' despair, of God and man accurst,
He lost his bishopric, and hang'd or burst.
Those former ages differ much from this;
Judas betray'd his Master with a kiss ;

But some have kiss'd the Gospel fifty times,
Whose perjury's the least of all their crimes:
Some who can perjure thro' a two-inch board,
Yet keep their bishoprics, and 'scape the cord.

10

Like hemp, which by a skilful spinster drawn 15
To slender threads, may sometimes pass for lawn.
As ancient Judas by transgression fell,
And burst asunder ere he went to hell,
So could we see a set of new Iscariots
Come headlong tumbling from their mitred chariots,
Each modern Judas perish like the first,

Drop from the tree with all his bowels burst,
Who could forbear, that view'd each guilty face,
To cry, Lo! Judas gone to his own place:
His habitation let all men forsake,

And let his bishopric another take.

ON MR. PULTENEY

BEING PUT OUT OF THE COUNCIL.

Written in the year 1731.

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26

SIR Robert, weary'd by Will. Pulteney's teasings,

Who interrupted him in all his leasings,
Resolv'd that Will, and he should meet no more,
Full in his face Bob shuts the council-door,

Nor lets him sit as justice on the bench,
To punish thieves, or lash a suburb wench.
Yet still St. Stephen's Chapel open lies
For Will. to enter-What shall I advise?
E'en quit the House, for thou too long has sat in't;
Produce at last thy dormant ducal patent;
There, near thy master's throne in shelter plac'd,
Let Will. unheard by thee, his thunder waste.

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10

Yet still I fear your work is done but half,
For while he keeps his pen you are not safe.
Hear an old fable, and a dull one too,
Yet bears a moral when apply'd to you.

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20

25

A Hare had long escap'd pursuing hounds, By often shifting into distant grounds, Till finding all his artifices vain, To save his life he leap'd into the main; But there, alas! he could no safety find, A pack of dog-fish had him in the wind. He scours away, and, to avoid the foe, Descends for shelter to the shades below. There Cerberus lay watching in his den; (He had not seen a Hare the Lord knows when) Out bounc'd the mastiff of the triple head; Away the Hare with double swiftness fled. Hunted from earth, and sea, and hell, he flies (Fear lent him wings) for safety to the skies. How was the fearful animal distrest! Behold a foe more fierce than all the rest; Syrius, the swiftest of the heav'nly pack, Fail'd but an inch to seize him by the back. He fled to earth, but first it cost him dear; He left his scut behind, and half an ear.

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35

Thus was the Hare pursu'd, tho' free from guilt; Thus, Bob, shalt thou be maul'd, fly where thou Then, honest Robin! of thy corpse beware; [wilt: Thou art not half so nimble as as a Hare: Too pond'rous is thy bulk to mount the sky, Nor can you go to hell before you die :

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So keen thy hunters, and thy scent so strong,

Thy turns and doublings cannot save thee long. 44

TO MR. GAY*.

Written in the year 1731.

How could you, Gay, disgrace the Muses' train,
To serve a tasteless court twelve years in vain!
Fain would I think our female friend sincere,
Till Bob, the poet's foe, possess'd her ear.
Did female virtue e'er so high ascend,
To lose an inch of favour for a friend?

Say, had the court no better place to chuse
For thee, than make a dry-nurse of thy Muse?
How cheaply had thy liberty been sold,
To 'squire a royal girl of two years old,
In leading-strings her infant steps to guide,
Or with her go-cart amble side by side?

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10

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But princely Douglas and his glorious dame Advanc'd thy fortune, and preserv'd thy fame; Nor will your nobler gifts be misapply'd, When o'er your patron's treasure you preside: The world shall own his choice was wise and just, For sons of Phoebus never break their trust.

*The Author having been told by an intimate friend, that the Duke of Queensberry had employed Mr. Gay to inspect the accounts and management of his Grace's receivers and stewards, (which, however, proved afterwards to be a mistake) writ to Mr. Gay the above poem.