How oddly would Sir Ifaac look,
If you, in anfwer to his book,
Say in the front of your difcourfe,

That things have no Elastic force ?
How could our Chymic friends go on,
To find the philofophic ftone,

If you more pow'rful reasons bring
To prove that there is no fuch thing?
Your chiefs in sciences and arts,
Have great contempt of Alma's parts.
They find the giddy is, or dull;

She doubts, if things are void, or full:
And who fhould be prefum'd to tell,
What the herself should fee, or feel?
She doubts if two and two make four,
Tho' fhe has told them ten times o'er.
It can't it may be—and it must :
To which of these must Alma truft ?
Nay, further yet they make her go,
In doubting, if the doubts, or no.
Can Syllogifm fet things right?
No: majors foon with Minors fight;
Or, both in friendly confort join'd,
The confequence limps falfe behind.
So to fome cunning-man fhe goes,
And asks of him, how much he knows.
With patience grave he hears her speak;
And from his short notes gives her back
What from her tale he comprehended:
Thus the dispute in wifely ended.

From

From the account the lofer brings,
The conj'ror knows, who ftole the things
'Squire (interrupted Dick) fince when
Were you amongst thefe cunning-men?
Dear Dick, quoth Mat, let not thy force
Of eloquence, fpoil my discourse.

I tell thee, this is Alma's cafe,

Still afking, what fome wife-man fays,
Who does his mind in words reveal,
Which all must grant, tho' few can fpell.
You tell your doctor that y' are ill.;
And what does he, but write a bill,
Of which you need not read one letter?
The worse the fcrawl, the dofe the better;
For if you knew but what you take,
Tho' you recover, he must break.

Ideas, Forms, and Intellects,

Have furnish'd out three diff'rent fects.
Subftance, or Accident, divides

All Europe into adverfe fides.

Now, as engag'd in arms or laws,
You must have friends to back your caufe :
In Philofophic matters fo

Your judgment muft with others' go..

For as in fenates, fo in fchools,

Majority of voices rules.

Poor Alma, like a lonely deer,

O'er hills and dales does doubtful err:
With panting hafte, and quick furprise,
From ev'ry leaf that ftirs, she flies:

Till mingled with the neighb'ring herd,
She flights what erft fhe fingly fear'd,
And now, exempt from doubt and dread,
She dares pursue, if they dare lead:
As their example still prevails,

She tempts the ftream, or leaps the pales.

He then, quoth Dick, who by your rule
Thinks for himself, becomes a fool.
As party-man who leaves the reft,
Is call'd but Whimsical at beft.
Now, by your favour, mafter Mat,
Like Ralpho, here I smell a rat.
I must be lifted in your fe&t;

Who, tho' they teach not, can protect.
Right, Richard, Mat. in triumph cry'd:
So put off all mistrust and pride.
And, while my principles 1 beg,
Pray anfwer only with your leg.
Believe what friendly I advife :
Be firft fecure; and then be wife.
The man within the coach that fits,
And to another's fkill fubmits,
Is fafer much (whate'er arrives)
And warmer too, than he that drives.
So, Dick Adept, tuck back thy hair,
And I will pour into thy ear
Remarks, which none did e'er disclose,
In fmooth-pac'd verfe, or hobbling profe."
Attend, dear Dick; but don't reply:
And thou may'ft prove as wife as I.

When

When Alma, now, in diff'rent ages, Has finish'd her afcending ftages; Into the head at length fhe gets, And there in public grandeur fits, To judge of things, and cenfure wits. Here, Richard, how could I explain, The various lab'rinths of the brain? Surprise my readers, whilft I tell 'em Of Cerebrum and Cerebellum ? How could I play the commentator On Dura and on Pia Mater? Where hot and cold, and dry and wet, Strive each the other's place to get; And, with inceffant toil and ftrife, Would keep poffeffion during life. I could demonstrate every pore, Where mem'ry lays up all her store; And to an inch compute the ftation, "Twixt judgment and imagination. O friend! I could display much learning, At least to men of fmall difcerning. The brain contains ten thousand cells: In each fome active fancy dwells; Which always is at work, and framing The feveral follies I was naming. As in a hive's vimineous dome, Ten thousand bees enjoy their home; Each does her ftudious actions vary, To go and come, to fetch and carry. Each ftill renews her little labour, Nor juftles her affiduous neighbour:

Each whilft this thefis I maintain,
I fancy, Dick, I know thy brain.
O with the mighty theme affected,
Could I but fee thy head diffected?

My head, quoth Dick, to ferve your whim?
Spare that, and take fome other limb.
Sir, in your nice affairs of fyftem,
Wife men propose; but fools affift 'em.`
Says Matthew: Richard, keep thy head,
And hold thy peace; and I'll proceed.
Proceed? quoth Dick: fir, I aver,
You have already gone too far.
When people once are in the wrong,
Each line they add, is much too long.
Who fafteft walks, but walks aftray,
Is only furtheft from his way.
Blefs your conceits! must I believe,
Howe'er abfurd, what you conceive ;
And, for your friendfhip, live and die
A Papil in philosophy:

I fay, whatever you maintain,

Of Alma in the heart, or brain;
The plaineft man alive may tell ye,
Her feat of empire is the belly:
From hence the fends out thofe fupplies,
Which makes us, either ftout or wife :
The strength of ev'ry other member
Is founded on your belly-timber:
The qualms or raptures of your blood
Rife in proportion to your food:

And,