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How oddly would Sir Isaac look,
If you, in answer to his book,
Say in the front of your discourse,
That things have no Elastic force ?
How could our Chymic friends go on,
To find the philosophic stone,
If you more pow'rful reasons bring
To prove that there is no such thing?
Your chiefs in sciences and arts,
Have great contempt of Alma's parts.
They find the giddy is, or dull;
She doubts, if things are void, or full:
And who should be presum'd to tell,
What she herself Tould fee, or feel ?
She doubts if two and two make four,
Tho' she has told them ten times o'er.
It can't -it may be and it muft:
To which of these must Alma truft?
Nay, further yet they make her go,
In doubting, if the doubts, or no.
Can Syllogism set things right?
No: majors soon with Minors fight;
Or, both in friendly confort join'd,
The consequence limps false behind.
So to some cunning-man she
And aks of him, how much the knows.
With patience grave he hears her fpeak;
And from his short notes gives her back
What from her tale he comprehended :
Thus the dispute i wisely ended.
From the account the lofer brings,
The conj'ror knows, who stole the things.
'Squire (interrupted Dick) since when Were you amongst these cunning-men?
Dear Dick, quoth Mat, let not thy force
Of eloquence, spoil my discourse:
I tell thee, this is Alma's case,
Still asking, what fome wise-man says,
Who does his mind in words reveal,
Which all must grant, tho’ few can fpell.
You tell your doctor that y.' 'are ill.;
And what does he, but write a bili,
Of which you need not read one letter:
The worse the fcrawl, the dose the better;
knew but what
Tho' you recover, he must break.
Ideas, Forms, and Intellects,
Have furnish'd out three diff'rent sects.
Substance, or Accident, divides
All Europe into adverse fides.
Now, as engag'd in arms or laws,
You must have friends to back your
In Philofophic matters so
Your judgment must with others' go.
For as in senates, so in schools,
Majority of voices rules.
Poor Alma, like a lonely deer,
O'er hills, and dales does doubtful err:
With panting hafte, and quick surprise,
From ev'ry leaf that stirs, the flies :
Till mingled with the neighb'ring herd,
She slights what erft she fingly fear’d,
And now, exempt from doubt and dread,
She dares pursue, if they dare lead :
As their example still prevails,
She tempts the stream, or leaps the pales.
He then, quoth Dick, who by your rule
Thinks for himself, becomes a fool.
As party-man who leaves the rest,
Is call'd but Whimsical at best.
Now, by your favour, mafter Mat,
Like Ralpho, here I smell a rat.
I must be listed in your feet ;
Who, tho they teach not, can protect.
Right, Richard, Mat. in triumph cry's:
So put off all miftruft and pride.
And, while my principles l beg,
Pray answer only with your leg.
Believe what friendiy I advise :
Be first secure; and then be wife.
The man within the coach that fits,
And to another's skill submits,
Is safer much (whate'er arrives)
And warmer too, than he that drives.
So, Dick Adept, tuck back thy hair,
And I will pour into thy car
Remarks, which none did e'er disclose,
In smooth-pac'd verse, or hobbling profe.
Attend, dear Dick; but don't reply:
And thou may't prove as wise as I.
When Alma, now, in diff'rent ages,
Has finish'd her ascending stages;
Into the head at length she gets,
And there in public grandeur fits,
To judge of things, and censure wits.
Here, Richard, how could I explain,
The various lab'rinths of the brain ?
Surprise my readers, whilft I tell 'em
Of Cerebrum and Cerebellum?
How could I play the commentator
On Dura and on Pia Mater?
Where hot and cold, and dry and wet,
Strive each the other's place to get ;
And, with incessant toil and strife,
Would keep poffeffion during life.
I could demonstrate every pore,
Where mem'ry lays up all her store,
And to an inch compute the station,
'Twixt judgment and imagination.
O friend! I could display much learning,
At least to men of small discerning.
The brain contains ten thousand cells :
In each fome active fancy dwells;
Which always is at work, and framing
The several follies I was naming.
As in a hive's vimineous dome,
Ten thousand bees enjoy their home;
Each does her studious actions vary,
and come, to fetch and carry.
Each still renews her little labour,
Nor juftles her affiduous neighbour:
Each whilft this thesis I maintain,
I fancy, Dick, I know thy brain.
with the mighty theme affected, Could I but see thy head diffected
My head, quoth Dick, to ferve your whim?
Spare that, and take some other limb.
Sir, in your nice affairs of system,
Wise men propose; but fools asüft 'em.'
Says Matthew: Richard, keep thy head,
And hold thy peace; and I'll proceed.
Proceed? quoth Dick: sir, I aver,
You have already gone too far.
When people once are in the wrong,
Each line they add, is much too long.
Who fastest walks, but walks aftray,
Is only furthest from his way.
conceits ! muft I helieve,
Howe'er absurd, what you conceive ;
And, for your friendship, live and die
A Papiit in philosophy:
I say, whatever you maintain,
Of Alma in the heart, or brain;
The plainest man alive may tell ye,
Her feat of empire is the belly:
From hence the sends out those supplies,
Which makes us, either itout or wise :
The itrength of ev'ry other member
Is founded on your belly-timber:
The qualms or raptures of your blood
Rise in proportion to your food: