She still renews the ancient scene,
Forgets the forty years between ;
Aukwardly gay, and oddly merry,
Her scarf pale pink, her head-knot cherry
O'erheated with ideal rage,
She cheats her fon, to wed her page.
If Alma, whilft the man was young,
Slipp'd up too foon into his tongue;
Pleas'd with his own fantastic skill,
He lets that weapon ne'er lie ftill:
On any point if you difpute;
Depend upon it, he'll confute:
Change fides; and you increase your pain::
For he'll confute you back again.
For one may speak with Tully's tongue;
Yet all the while be in the wrong.
And 'tis remarkable, that they
Talk moft, who have the least to say.
Your dainty speakers have the curse,
To plead bad causes down to worse ;
As dames, who native beauty want,
Still uglier look, the more they paint.
Again if in the female fex,
Alma fhould on this member fix;
(A cruel and a defp'rate cafe,
From which Heav'n fhield my lovely lass. !)
For evermore all care is vain,
That would bring Alma down again.
As in habitual gout, or stone,
The only thing that can be done,
Is to correct your drink and diet,
And keep the inward foe in quiet:
So, if for any fin of ours,
Or our forefathers, higher powers,
Severe tho' juft, afflict our life
With that prime ill, a talking wife;
Till death shall bring the kind relief,
We must be patient, or be deaf.
You know a certain lady, Dick,
Who faw me when I laft was fick:
She kindly talk'd, at least three hours,
Of Plaftic forms, and Mental pow'rs;;
Defcrib'd our pre-existing station
Before this vile terrene creation :
And, left I should be weary'd, Madam,
To cut things fhort, came down to Adam;
From whence, as fast as fhe was able,
She drowns the world, and builds up Babel;
Thro' Syria, Perfia, Greece, he goes;
And takes the Romans in the close.
But we'll defcant on gen'ral nature :
This is a fyftem; not a fatyr.d
Turn we this globe; and let us fee
How diff'rent nation's difagree,
In what we wear, or eat and drink;
Nay, Dick, perhaps in what we think.
In water as you smell and taste
The foils thro' which it rofe and past;
In Alma's manners you may read
The place where he was born and bred.
One people from their fwaddling bands
Releas'd their infants' feet and hands:
Here Alma to these limbs was brought;
And Sparta's offspring kick'd and fought.
Another taught their babes to talk,
Ere they could yet in goe-carts walk;
There Alma fettled in the tongue;
And orators from Athens fprung.
Obferve but in these neighb'ring lands,
The diff'rent ufe of mouths and hands
As men repos'd their various hopes;
In battles these, and those in tropes.
In Britain's ifles, as Heylin notes,
The ladies trip in petticoats;
Which, for the honour of their nation,
They quit but on fome great occafion.
Men there in breeches clad you view :
They claim that garment, as their due.
In Turkey the reverse appears
Long coats the haughty husband wears;
And greets his wife with angry speeches,
If fhe be feen without her breeches.
In our fantastic climes, the fair
With cleanly powder dry their hair:
And round their lovely breast and head
Fresh flow'rs their mingled odors shed.
Your nicer Hottentots think meet,
With tripe and guts to deck their feet:
With downcaft looks on Totta's legs,
The ogling youth most humbly begs,
She would not from his hopes remove
At once his breakfast and his love:
And, if the skittish nymph should fly,
He in a double fenfe muft die.
We fimple Toasters take delight
To fee our women's teeth look white,
And every faucy, ill-bred fellow,
Sneers at a mouth profoundly yellow.
In China none hold women fweet,
Except their fnaggs are black as jett.
King Chihu put nine queens to death,
Convict on statute, Iv'ry Teeth.
At Tonquin, if a prince fhou'd die
(As Jefuits write, who never lye)
The wife, and counsellor, and priest,
Who ferv'd him most, and loy'd him best,
Prepare, and light his fun'ral fire,
And chearful on the pile expire.
In Europe 'twould be hard to find,
In each degree, one half fo kind.
Now turn we to the farthest east,
And there obferve the gentry dreft;
Prince Giolo, and his royal fifters,
Scarr'd with ten thousand comely blifters.
The marks remaining on the skin,
To tell the quality within.
Diftinguish'd flashes deck the great:
As each excels in birth, or state,
His oylet-holes are more, and ampler;
The king's own body was a famplar.
Happy the climate, where the beau
Wears the fame fuit for use, and show;
And at a small expence, your wife,
If once well pink'd, is cloath'd for life.
Westward, again, the Indian fair
Is nicely fmear'd with fat of bear;
Before you fee you fmell your toaft;
And sweetest fhe who ftinks the most.
The finest sparks, and cleanlieft beaux,
Drip from the fhoulders to the toes.
How fleek their skins! their joints how easy
There flovens only are not greafy.
I mention'd different ways of breeding;
Begin we in our children's reading.
To mafter John the English maid
A hornbook gives, of ginger-bread:
And, that the child may learn the better,
As he can name, he eats the letter:
Proceeding thus with vaft delight,
He spells, and knaws, from left to right.
But fhew a Hebrew's hopeful fon,
Where we fuppofe the book begun,
The child would thank you for your
And read quite backward from our Finis:
Devour he learning ne'er so fast,
Great A will be referv'd the laft.
An equal inftance of this matter,
Is in the manners of a daughter.
In Europe, if a harmless maid,
By nature and by love betray'd,
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