Meath smiles for the jointure, though gotten so late; The son laughs, that got the hard-gotten estate; And Cuffe* grins, for getting the Alicant plate.

Here quiet they lie, in hopes to rise one day,
Both solemnly put in this hole on a Sunday,
And here rest- -sit transit gloria mundi!

VERSES ON I KNOW NOT WHAT.

My latest tribute here I send,
With this let your collection end.
Thus I consign you down to fame
A character to praise or blame :
And if the whole may pass for true,
Contented rest, you have your due.
Give future time the satisfaction,
To leave one handle for detraction.

DR. SWIFT TO HIMSELF.

ON SAINT CECILIA'S DAY.

GRAVE Dean of St. Patrick's, how comes it to pass, That you, who know music no more than an ass, That you who so lately were writing of drapiers, Should lend your cathedral to players and scrapers?

* John Cuffe, of Desart, Esq., married the general's eldest daughter.-F.

To act such an opera once in a year,

So offensive to every true Protestant ear,

With trumpets, and fiddles, and organs, and singing,
Will sure the Pretender and Popery bring in,
No Protestant prelate, his lordship or grace,
Durst there shew his right or most reverend face:
How would it pollute their crosiers and rochets,
To listen to minims, and quavers, and crotchets !
[The rest is wanting.]

AN ANSWER

TO A FRIEND'S QUESTION.

THE furniture that best doth please
St. Patrick's Dean, good Sir, are these:
The knife and fork with which I eat;
And next the pot that boils the meat;
The next to be preferr'd, I think,
Is the glass in which I drink;

The shelves on which my books I keep,
And the bed on which I sleep;
An antique elbow-chair between,
Big enough to hold the Dean;
And the stove that gives delight
In the cold bleak wintry night:
To these we add a thing below,
More for use reserved than show:
These are what the Dean do please;
All superfluous are but these.

EPIGRAM.*

BEHOLD! a proof of Irish sense;
Here Irish wit is seen!

When nothing's left that's worth defence,
We build a magazine.

* The Dean, in his lunacy, had some intervals of sense; at which his guardians or physicians took him out for the air. On one of these days, when they came to the Park, Swift remarked a new building, which he had never seen, and asked what it was designed for? To which Dr. Kingsbury answered, "That, Mr. Dean, is the magazine for arms and powder for the security of the city."-"Oh! oh!" says the Dean, pulling out his pocket-book, "let me take an item of that. This is worth remarking:-‘My tablets,' as Hamlet says, 'my tablets-memory, put down that!'" Which produced the above lines, said to be the last he ever

wrote.

EPITAPH,

INSCRIBED ON A MARBLE TABLET, IN BERKELEY CHURCH,
GLOUCESTERSHIRE.

H. S. E.

CAROLUS Comes de BERKELEY, Vicecomes Dursley,
Baro BERKELEY, de Berkeley Cast., MOWBRAY, Segrave,
Et BRUCE, è nobilissimo Ordine Balnei Eques,
Vir ad genus quod spectat et proavos usquequaque nobilis,
Et longo si quis alius procerum stemmate editus ;
Muniis etiam tam illustri stirpi dignis insignitus.
Siquidem a GULIELMO III° ad ordines fœderati Belgii
Ablegatus et Plenipotentiarus Extraordinarius
Rebus, non Britanniæ tantùm, sed totius fere Europæ
(Tunc temporis præsertim arduis) per annos V. incubuit,
Quam felici diligentiâ, fide quam intemeratâ,

Ex illo discas, Lector, quod, superstite patre,
In magnatum ordinem adscisci meruerit.

Fuit à sanctioribus consiliis et Regi GULIEL. et ANNÆ Reginæ,
E proregibus Hiberniæ secundus,

Comitatum civitatumque Glocest. et Brist. Dominus Locumtenens,
Surriæ et Glocest. Custos Rot., Urbis Glocest. magnus
Senescallus, Arcis sancti de Briavell Castellanus,
Guardianus Forestæ de Dean.

Denique ad Turcarum primum, deinde ad Roman. Imperatorem
Cum Legatus Extraordinarius designatus esset,
Quo minus has etiam ornaret provincias
Obstitit adversa corporis valetudo.

Sed restat adhuc, præ quo sordescunt cætera,
Honos verus, stabilis, et vel morti cedere nescius,
Quòd veritatem evangelicam seriò amplexus;
Erga Deum pius, erga pauperes munificus,
Adversùs omnes æquus et benevolus,
In Christo jam placidè obdormit
Cum eodem olim regnaturus unà.
Natus vii April. MDCXLIX. denatus
XXIV° Septem. MDCCX. ætat. suæ LXII.

EPITAPH

ON FREDERICK DUKE OF SCHOMBERG.*

Hic infra situm est corpus

FREDERICI DUCIS DE SCHOMBERG. ad BUDINDAM occisi, A.D. 1690. DECANUS et CAPITULUM maximopere etiam atque etiam petierunt,

UT HÆREDES DUCIS monumentum
In memoriam PARENTIS erigendum curarent:
Sed postquam per epistolas, per amicos,
diu ac sæpê orando nil profecêre ;
Hunc demum lapidem ipsi statuerunt,
+ Saltem ut scias, hospes,

Ubinam terrarum SCONBERGENSIS cineres

delitescunt.

"Plus potuit fama virtutis apud alienos,
Quam sanguinis proximitas apud suos."
A.D. 1731.

* The Duke was unhappily killed in crossing the river Boyne, July 1690, and was buried in St. Patrick's cathedral; where the dean and chapter erected a small monument to his honour, at their own expense.-N.

†The words that Dr. Swift first concluded the epitaph with, were, "Saltem ut sciat viator indignabundus, quali in cellulâ tanti ductoris cineres delitescunt."-N.