curling-irons, and their needles, for the sake of peace, since a better cannot be made of it.-Have you any objection to this plan, my lord ?"

None,' replied my brother:

but it may be difficult to persuade those low fellows in the directory to agree to it. Low fellows are sometimes very obstinate.'

If they cannot be persuaded, my lord,' said she, they should be bribed ;-that is a method that generally succeeds with low fellows as well as with high'

The entrance of Lady Amelia 'put an end to the dialogue. Farewell!

J. MORDAUNT.

LETTER LXX.

The Same to the Same.

MY DEAR SOMMERS,

Rose-Mount.

LADY AMELIA MELTON is, undoubtedly, an elegant and beautiful woman: her person and manner are both improved since I last saw her. A slight blush suffused her fine countenance, when the eyes of the company turned upon her, as she entered the room : this was a fresh embellishment; for, naturally, her face is rather too pale. My brother glanced at me with an air of triumph-implying, you never saw so handsome a woman. Except the incognita, I do not know that I ever did. I have not yet been able, you will perceive, to shake that woman's figure, from my imagination. I wish she had stopped a little longer at the cottage, that I might have discovered something in her face, or person, to have found fault with ;but she was whisked away when I was in the height of admiration; and, in the glance she threw from the chaise, there was an expression more pleasing than I ever beheld in the human countenance before; but which I have had since repeated a thousand times to my imagination, sleeping or waking.

As for the usual paleness of Lady Amelia's face, I be

lieve it proceeds, in a great measure, from the aunt's prescriptions.

A little after the young lady entered, one of the company mentioned a new disease, to which cows are liable; which gave Lady Aspic occasion to remark, that there was an astonishing affinity between the diseases of brutes and those of the human species;'—and she was proceeding, when Captain Vapour, struck with a very hackneyed allusion, which he seemed to consider as a bright thought, interrupted her by adding, ' particularly between men and horned cattle."

Many a man has injured his fortune by his wit. I did not imagine that Billy Vapour would ever be of the number: and nothing can be a stronger proof of the difficulty of suppressing any idea which a man, however erroneously, conceives to be witty, than that Captain Vapour could not retain this, though he was solicitous to keep the good opinion of Lady Aspic, knew that she could not bear to be interrupted, and abhorred allusions of that nature.

Her brow was immediately contracted by additional wrinkles; her breast began to swell with additional ve nom, which was ready to be poured on the captain, when a servant announced dinner. The duchess rose, and, by the most flattering attentions to her, restored good-hu

mour.

My brother was seated between the duchess and Lady Aspic; I, between her grace and Lady Amelia; and I had some agreeable conversation with both; which, however, was sometimes interrupted by hints from Lady Aspic, on what dishes were most, and what least salutary, I observed, with pleasure, that Lady Amelia, though she received on her plate, yet hardly tasted, what her aunt recommended, and showed a partiality for what she condemned. But I was sorry to perceive, that she seemed somewhat infected with the aunt's fantasies concerning air and nerves. From all the contemptuous malignity that distinguishes the aunt's conversation, that of the niece is entirely free indeed, had she not naturally been of an opposite disposition, the displeasing manner in

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which her aunt's ill-temper was continually bursting forth might have influenced the young lady to adopt a behaviour as different as possible from hers. So irresistible was her ladyship's propensity to say what was disobliging, that she not only attacked those who had given her any, even the least, provocation, but she could not always refrain from sarcasm against people who, so far from wishing to offend her, did every thing they thought most likely to gain her good opinion. Several proofs of this she exhibited before we had done with dinner.

I should have mentioned, that, immediately before the duchess seated herself, she had desired the clergyman to say grace. He was at that instant complimenting me on the fancy of my waistcoat. Her grace's request came on him like a clap of thunder in the middle of serene weather he had not the least suspicion of such a demand from a person of her rank. He saw that Captain Vapour was ready to laugh; and he blushed like a young maiden, to whom a very unbecoming proposal had been unexpectedly made. Recovering himself at last, however, in some degree, he mumbled a few words in a rapid and most irreverent style, and then tried to resume his usual pert air.

The duchess had observed all this; and, as it struck me, was highly offended. She behaved to him afterwards with a degree of coldness, very different from the reception he had received at his introduction; but still with politeness.

In the course of conversation at table, Captain Vapour expressed himself, with more decision than he had done before, against the measures of sending any part of the militia, or accepting the offer of any volunteer corps, to serve out of the kingdom, on any account whatever. Notwithstanding her having before spoken to the same purpose, Lady Aspic could not let this opportunity slip of venting her displeasure against the poor captain : Well,' said she, in a more distinct tone of voice than usual, nothing, in my opinion, can be more contempti

ble, than for any man, who pretends to be a soldier, to be deficient in the essential article of courage.'

Upon my word,' said Mr. Milliner, I am entirely of your ladyship's opinion. Nothing, indeed, can, as your ladyship observes, be more contemptible.'

• Unless it be,' resumed Lady Aspic, in the same decisive and distinct tone of voice, a clergyman without the least appearance of religion.'

Having pronounced this, she presented her snuff-box to Mr. Milliner, saying I perceive, sir, you take snuff will you try a little of mine?'

Mr. Milliner, without betraying the same discomposure he had done when he was desired so say grace, took a pinch, and said it was excellent.'

I was afraid,' added she,' that you would have found it too pungent.'

• Not in the least,' replied he.

<

• Indeed,' resumed her ladyship, this snuff is very much in fashion."

Is it ? said the clergyman: I beg your ladyship will indulge me in another pinch.'

The duchess rising, the ladies withdrew with her grace; and the men followed soon after,-all but Captain Vapour and the clergyman, who being informed that their chaise was at the gate, retired together.

When we joined the ladies, I overheard the duchess, in a jocose manner, accuse Lady Aspic for having been too severe on her relations. As for the captain,' replied she, your grace could not but observe that he had provoked me by his petulance.'

Perhaps so, said the duchess; but that will not palliate what you said to the clergyman; for, though the young man seems to have the weakness to be out of countenance at performing the duties of a profession, which a wiser and more pious man would consider as an honour, yet I do think what your ladyship said to him was a little too severe.-Why, you might really as well have insinuated that he was an atheist.'

If I had,' said Lady Aspic, he would not have minded it, nor any thing else, unless I had insinuated that he was a Quiz,' which, I understand, is the fashionable term for a person ridiculously, that is, unfashionably, dressed.'

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As all the time that Lady Aspic can spare from the care of her own health, and calumniating her neighbours, is dedicated to cards, the duchess arranged a party at whist, in which neither Lady Amelia nor I were included. Her grace and my brother were partners against Lady Aspic and a gentleman who had dined with us. Lady Amelia having declined playing, I remained conversing with her during the whole evening, which I passed very agreeably.-This was not the case with the gentleman who was Lady Aspic's partner, particularly during the two last rubbers. She murmured through her nose many severe reflections against him for holding bad cards.

He bore it with great patience; acknowledging the fault, and modestly hinting that it was involuntary.

At the end of the third rubber, Lady Aspic, having lost all the three, expressed herself, while paying the mo‐ ney, with redoubled bitterness. She could not con. ceive what was the meaning of his holding such very bad cards.'

The gentleman confessed, with every mark of contri, tion, that his cards had been very bad.'

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• Bad rejoined she; they were detestable, sir!— I never saw any body hold such cards; I own I do not understand it.'

Why, madam, said he, that my cards were bad was my misfortune as well as your ladyship's.?

That is nothing to the purpose, sir,' rejoined she.

I really do not know what apology would satisfy you,' resumed the gentleman; but I may safely assure your ladyship, upon my honour,' laying his hand on his breast, * that I had all the inclination in the world to hold good cards.'

Sir,' replied she, with a look of dignity, and in the