enough to own I had taken his purse for that purpose? I shall be down before May is out. I preach before the judges on Sunday; my Sermons come out on Thursday after, and I purpose the Monday, at furthest, after that, to set out for York. I have bought a pair of horses for that purpose. My best respects to your lady.—I You must know there is a quarrel between Dr. Hill and Dr. M-y, who was the physician meant at Mr. Charles Stanhope's, and Dr. Hill has changed the place on purpose, to give M-y a lick. Now that conversation, though perhaps am, dear sir, your most obliged and faithful true, yet happened at another place,' and another physician, which I have contradicted in this city, for the honour of my friend M-y: all which shows the absurdity of York credulity and nonsense. Besides, the account is full of falsehoods; first, with regard to the place of my birth, which was at Clonmel, in Ireland; the story of a hundred pounds to Mrs. W—,? not true, or of a pension promised, the merit of which I disclaimed; and indeed there are so many other things so untrue, and unlikely to come from me, that the worst enemy I have here never had a suspicion; and, to end all, Dr. Hill owns the paper. L. STERNE. P.S.-I beg pardon for this hasty scrawl, having just come from a concert where the D. of York performed. I have received great notice from him, and last week had the honour of supping with him. 2 1 As the truth of this anecdote is not denied, it may gratify curiosity to communicate it in Dr. Hill's own words: At the last dinner that the late lost amiable Charles Stanhope gave to genius, Yorick was present. The good old man was vexed to see a pedantic medicine-monger take the lead, and prevent that pleasantry which good wit and good wine might have occasioned, by a discourse in the unintelligible language of his profession, concerning the difference between the phrenitis and the paraphrenitis and the concomitant categories of the mediastium and pleura. Good-humoured Yorick saw the sense of the master of the feast, and fell into the cant and jargon of physic, as if he had been one of Radcliffe's travellers. "The vulgar practice," says he, "savours much of mechanical principles; the venerable ancients were all empirics, and the profession will never regain its ancient credit till practice falls into the old track again. I am myself an instance. I caught cold by leaning on a damp cushion; and after sneezing and snivelling a fortnight, it fell upon my breast. They blooded me, blistered me, and gave me robs and bobs, and lohocks and eclegmata; but I grew worse; for I was treated according to the exact rules of the College. In short, from an inflammation it came to an ADHESION, and all was over with me. They advised me to Bristol, that I might not do them the scandal of dying under their hands; and the Bristol people for the same reason consigned me over to Lisbon. But what do I? Why, I considered an adhesion is, in plain English, only a sticking of two things together, and that force enough would pull them asunder. I bought a good ash pole, and began leaping over all the walls and ditches in the country. From the height of the pole I used to come souse down upon my feet like an ass, when he tramples upon a bulldog; but it did not do. At last, when I had raised myself perpendicularly over a wall, I used to fall exactly across the ridge of it upon the side opposite to the adhesion. This tore it off at once, and I am as you see. Come, fill a glass to the memory of the empiric medicine." If he had been asked elsewhere about this disorder (for he really had a consumptive disorder), he would have answered, that he was cured by Huxham's decoction of the bark and elixir of vitriol.' X.-TO DR. WARBURTON, BISHOP OF YORK, June 9, 1760. P.S.-I am just sitting down to go on with Tristram, etc. The scribblers uso me ill, but they have used my betters much worse, for which may God forgive them. XI. TO THE REV. MR. STERNE. PRIOR PARK, June 15, 1760. REVEREND SIR,-I have your favour of the 9th instant, and am glad to understand you are got safe home, and employed again in your proper studies and amusements. You have it in your power to make that, which is an amusement to yourself and others, useful to both; at least you should, above all things, beware of its becoming hurtful to either, by any violations of decency and good manners. But I have already taken such repeated liberties of advising you on that head, that to say more would be needless, or perhaps unacceptable. Whoever is, in any way, well received by the public, is sure to be annoyed by that pest of the public, profligate scribblers. This is the common lot of successful adventurers; but such have often a worse evil to struggle with,-I mean the over officiousness of their indiscreet friends. There are two Odes,' as they are called, printed 1 Intitled, Two Lyric Epistles; one to my Cousin 2 The widow of Mr. Sterne's predecessor in the living Shandy, on his coming to Town; and the other to the of Coxwould. Grown Gentlewomen, the Misses of **** 410. by Dodsley. Whoever was the author, he appears to be a monster of impiety and lewdness; yet, such is the malignity of the scribblers, some have given them to your friend Hall; and others, which is still more impossible, to yourself; though the first Ode has the insolence to place you both in a mean and a ridiculous light. But this might arise from a tale equally groundless and malignant, that you had shown them to your acquaintances in Ms. before they were given to the public. Nor was their being printed by Dodsley the likeliest means of discrediting the calumny. About this time, another, under the mask of friendship, pretended to draw your character, which was since published in a Female Magazine (for dulness, who often has as great a hand as the Devil in deforming God's works of the creation, has made them, it seems, male and female), and thence it was transferred into a Chronicle.1 Pray have you read it or do you know its author? | quence, which if you will burn the moment you get it, I promise to send you a fine set essay in the style of your female epistolizers, cut and trim'd at all points. God defend me from such, who never yet knew what it was to say or write one premeditated word in my whole life; for this reason I send you this with pleasure, because wrote with the careless irregularity of an easy heart. Who told you Garrick wrote the medley for Beard? 'Twas wrote in his house, however, and before I left town. I deny it, I was not lost two days before I left town. I was lost all the time I was there, and never found till I got to this Shandy castle of mine. Next winter I intend to sojourn amongst you with more decorum, and will neither be lost nor found anywhere. Now I wish to God I was at your elbow. I have just finished one volume of Shandy, and I want to read it to some one who I know can taste and relish humour. This, by the way, is a little impudent in me, for I take the thing for granted, which their high mightinesses the world have yet to determine; but I mean no such Shall I, in truth, give you mine? I dare not, but I will; provided you keep it to yourself: know then, that I think there is more laughable humour, with an equal degree of Cervantic satire, if not more than in the last; but we are bad judges of the merit of our children. But of all these things, I daresay Mr. Garrick, whose prudence is equal to his honesty or his talents, has remonstrated to you with the free-thing, I could wish only to have your opinion. dom of a friend. He knows the inconstancy of what is called the Public towards all, even the best intentioned, of those who contribute to its pleasure or amusement. He (as every man of honour and discretion would) has availed himself of the public favour, to regulate the taste, and, in his proper station, to reform the manners, of the fashionable world; while, by a welljudged economy, he has provided against the temptations of a mean and servile dependency on the follies and vices of the great. In a word, be assured there is no one more sincerely wishes your welfare and happiness, than, reverend sir, W. G. XII. TO MY WITTY WIDOW, MRS. F—. COXWOULD, August 3, 1760. MADAM,--When a man's brains are as dry as a squeez'd orange, and he feels he has no more conceit in him than a mallet, 'tis in vain to think of sitting down, and writing a letter to a lady of your wit, unless in the honest JohnTrot style of yours of the 15th instant came safe to hand, etc.; which, by the bye, looks like a letter of business; and you know very well, from the first letter I had the honour to write to you, I am a man of no business at all. This vile plight I found my genius in was the reason I have told Mr. I would not write to you till the next post, hoping by that time to get some small recruit, at least of vivacity, if not wit, to set out with; but upon second thoughts, thinking a bad letter in season to be better than a good one out of it, this scrawl is the conse 1 The London Chronicle, May 6, 1760. I return you a thousand thanks for your friendly congratulations upon my habitation, and I will take care you shall never wish me but well, for I am, madam, with great esteem and truth, your most obliged, L. STERNE. P.S.-I have wrote this so vilely and so precipitately, I fear you must carry it to a decipherer. I beg you'll do me the honour to write, otherwise you draw me in, instead of Mr. drawing you into a scrape, for I should sorrow to have a taste of so agreeable a correspondent -and no more. Adieu. XIII. TO S― C-, Esq. LONDON, Christmas Day, 1760. MY DEAR FRIEND,-I have been in such a continual hurry since the moment I arrived hercwhat with my books, and what with visitors and visitings-that it was not in my power sooner to sit down and acknowledge the favour of your obliging letter, and to thank you for the most friendly motives which led you to write it. I am not much in pain upon what gives my kind friends at Stillington so much on the chapter of Noses, because, as the principal satire throughout that part is levelled at those learned blockheads who, in all ages, have wasted their time and much learning upon points as foolish, it shifts off the idea of what you fear to another point; and 'tis thought here very good; We 'twill pass muster, I mean not with all: no, no! I shall be attacked and pelted, either from cellars or garrets, write what I will; and besides, must expect to have a party against me of many hundreds, who either do not, or will not, laugh. "Tis enough if I divide the world; at least, I will rest contented with it. I wish you was here, to see what changes of looks and political reasoning have taken place in every company and coffee-house since last year. shall be soon Prussians and Anti-Prussians, B-s and Anti-B-s, and those distinctions will just do as well as Whig and Tory; and for aught I know, serve the same ends. The king seems resolved to bring all things back to their original principles, and to stop the torrent of corruption and laziness. He rises every morning at six to do business, rides out at eight to a minute, returns at nine to give himself up to his people. By persisting, 'tis thought he will oblige his ministers and dependants to despatch affairs with him many hours sooner than of late, and 'tis much to be questioned whether they will not be enabled to wait upon him sooner by being freed from long levees of their own, and applications; which will in all likelihood be transferred from them directly to himself, the present system being to remove that phalanx of great people which stood betwixt the throne and the subjects, and suffer them to have immediate access without the intervention of a cabal (this is the language of others). However, the king gives everything himself, knows everything, and weighs everything maturely, and then is inflexible. This puts old stagers off their game: how it will end, we are all in the dark. 'Tis feared the war is quite over in Germany. Never was known such havoc amongst troops. I was told yesterday, by a colonel from Germany, that out of two battalions of nine hundred men, to which he belonged, but seventyone are left! Prince Ferdinand has sent word, 'tis said, that he must have forty thousand men directly to take the field, and with provisions for them too, for he can but subsist them for a fortnight. I hope this will find you all got to York. I beg my compliments to the amiable Mrs. Croft, etc. Though I purposed going first to Golden Square, yet fate has thus long disposed of me; so I have never been able to set a foot towards that quarter.-I am, dear sir, yours affectionately, L. STERNE. XIV.-TO THE SAME. About January 1761. MY DEAR SIR,-I have just time to acknowledge the favour of yours, but not to get the two prints you mention, which shall be sent you by next post. I have bought them, and lent them to Miss Gilbert, but will assuredly send for them and enclose them to you: I will take care to get your pictures well copied, and at a moderate price. And if I can be of further use, I beseech you to employ me; and from time to time will send you an account of whatever may be worth transmitting. The stream now sets in strong against the German war. Loud complaints of - making a trade of the war, etc. etc.; much expected from Ld. Granby's evidence to these matters, who is expected every hour. The king wins every day upon the people, shows himself much at the play (but at no opera), rides out with his brothers every morning, half an hour after seven till nine, returns with them, spends an hour with them at breakfast and chat, and then sits down to business. I never dined at home once since I arrived-am fourteen dinners deep engaged just now, and fear matters will be worse with me in that point than better. As to the main points in view, at which you hint, all I can say is that I see my way, and unless Old Nick throws the dice, shall in due time come off winner. Tristram will be out the twentieth. There is a great rout about him before he enters the stage. Whether this will be of use or no, I can't say. Some wits of the first magnitude here, both as to wit and station, engage me success; time will show. Adieu. XV.-TO THE SAME. March 1761. DEAR SIR,-Since I had the favour of your obliging letter, nothing has happened or been said one day, which has not been contradicted the next; so, having little certain to write, I have forborne writing at all, in hopes every day of something worth filling up a letter. We had the greatest expectations yesterday that ever were raised of a pitched battle in the House of Commons, wherein Mr. Pitt was to have entered and thrown down the gauntlet in defence of the German war. There never was so full a house-the gallery full to the top. I was there all the day, when lo! a political fit of the gout seized the great combatant: he entered not the lists. Beckford got up, and begged the House, as he saw not his right honourable friend there, to put off the debate. It could not be done; so Beckford rose up, and made a most long, passionate, incoherent speech in defence of the Germanic war, but very severe upon the unfrugal manner it was carried on, in which he addressed himself principally to the Chancellor of the Exchequer, and laid him on terribly. It seems the chancery of Hanover had laid out 350,000 pounds on account, and brought in our treasury debtor; and the grand debate was for an honest examination of the particulars of this extravagant account, and for vouchers to authenticate it. Legge answered Beckford very rationally and coolly. Lord N spoke long. Sir. F. Dashwood maintained the German war was most pernicious. Mr. C-, of Surry, spoke well against the account, with some others. L. Barrington at last got up, and spoke half an hour with great plainness and temper; explained a great many hidden springs relating to these accounts, in favour of the late king, and told two or three conversations which had passed between the king and himself, relative to these expenses, which cast great honour upon the king's character. This was with regard to the money the king had secretly furnished out of his pocket to lessen the account of the Hanover score brought us to discharge. Beckford and Barrington abused all who sought for peace, and joined in the cry for it; and Beckford added that the reasons of wishing a peace now were the same as the peace of Utrecht, that the people behind the curtain could not both maintain the war and their places too, so were for making another sacrifice of the nation to their own interests. After all, the cry for a peace is so general that it will certainly end in one. Now for myself. mouth, how things go on in Germany, and what news, when they should have been there to have furnished news themselves; but the worst part has been, that many of them have left their brother-officers on their duty, and in all the fatigues of it, and have come with no end but to make friends, to be put unfairly over the heads of those who were left risking their lives. In this attempt there have been some but too successful, which has justly raised ill-blood and complaints from the officers who stayed behind. The upshot has been, that they have every soul been ordered off; and woe be to him ('tis said) who shall be found listening! Now just to mention our friend's case whilst this cry is on foot, I think would be doing more hurt than good; but, if you think otherwise, I will go with all my heart, and mention it to Mr. Townshend, for to do more I am too inconsiderable a person to pretend to. You made me and my friends here very merry with the accounts current at York, of my being forbid the Court; but they do not consider what a considerable person they make of me, when they suppose either my going or my not going there is a One half of the town abuse my book as bitterly as the other half cry it up to the skies-point that ever enters the king's head; and for the best is, they abuse and buy it, and at such a rate that we are going on with a second edition as fast as possible. I am going down for a day or two with Mr. Spencer to Wimbleton; on Wednesday there is to be a grand assembly at Lady N-. I have inquired everywhere about Stephen's affair, and can hear nothing. My friend, Mr. Charles Townshend, will be now Secretary-at-war.1 He bid me wish him joy of it, though not in possession. I will ask him, and depend, my most worthy friend, that you shall not be ignorant of what I learn from him. Believe me ever, ever, Yours, L. S. XVI.-TO THE SAME. [April 1761.] MY DEAR SIR,-A strain which I got in my wrist by a terrible fall prevented my acknowledging the favour of your obliging letter. I went yesterday morning to breakfast with Mr. V-, who is a kind of right-hand man to the secretary, on purpose to inquire about the propriety or feasibility of doing what you wish me; and he has told me an anecdote, which, had you been here, would, I think, have made it wiser to have deferred speaking about the affair a month hence than now: it is this-You must know that the numbers of officers who have left their regiments in Germany, for the pleasures of the town, have been long à topic for merriment; as you see them in St. James's Coffeehouse and the Park, every hour, inquiring, open 1 He was appointed Secretary-at-war the 24th of March 1761. those about him, I have the honour either to stand so personally well known to them, or to be so well represented by those of the first rank, as to fear no accident of that kind. I thank God (B-s excepted) I have never yet made a friend or connection I have forfeited, or done aught to forfeit; but, on the contrary, my true character is better understood, and where I had one friend last year who did me honour, I have three now. If my enemies knew that by this rage of abuse and ill-will they were effectually serving the interests both of myself and works, they would be more quiet; but it has been the fate of my betters, who have found that the way to fame is like the way to heaven -through much tribulation; and, till I shall have the honour to be as much maltreated as Rabelais and Swift were, I must continue humble, for I have not filled up the measure of half their persecutions. The Court is turning topsy-turvy. Lord Bute, le premier;1 Lord Talbot to be groom of the chambers," in the room of the D― of R-d; Lord Halifax to Ireland; Sir F. Dashwood in Talbot's place; Pitt seems unmoved; a peace inevitable; Stocks rise; the peers this moment kissing hands, etc. etc. (this week may be christened the kiss-hands week),—for a hundred changes will happen in consequence of these. Pray present my compliments to Mrs. C- and Lord Bute was appointed Secretary of State on the 26th of March 1761. 2 Lord Talbot was appointed Steward of the Household on the same day. 3 Lord Halifax was appointed Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland on the 20th of March 1761. |