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CALAIS,

ungracious syllable I had uttered crowded back of languages, connections, dependencies, and into my imagination. I reflected I had no right from the difference in educations, customs, and over the poor Franciscan but to deny him; and habits, we lie under so many impediments in that the punishment of that was enough to the communicating our sensations out of our own disappointed, without the addition of unkind sphere, as often amount to a total impossibility. language.— I considered his grey hairs :-his It will always follow hence that the balance courteous figure seem'd to re-enter, and gently of sentimental commerce is always against the ask me what injury he had done me?-and why expatriated adventurer: he must buy what he I could use him thus ?- I would have given has little occasion for, at their own price ;-his twenty livres for an advocate.--I have behaved conversation will seldom be taken in exchange very ill, said I, within myself ; but I have only for theirs without a large discount, -and this, just set out upon my travels, and shall learn by the bye, eternally driving him into the hands better manners as I get along.

of more equitable brokers, for such conversation as he can find, it requires no great spirit of divi

nation to guess at his party, THE DESOBLIGEANT.

This brings me to my point, and naturally leads me (if the see-saw of this desobligeant will

but let me get on) into the efficient as well as WHEN a man is discontented with himself, it final causes of travelling. has one advantage, however, that it puts him Your idle people, that leave their native into an excellent frame of mind for making a country, and go abroad for some reason or reabargain. Now, there being no travelling through sons which may be derived from one of these France and Italy without a chaise, and Nature general causes :generally prompting us to the thing we are fit

Infirmity of body, test for, I walked out into the coach-yard to buy

Imbecility of mind, or or hire something of that kind to my purpose.

Inevitable necessity. An old desobligeant,' in the farthest corner of the The two first include all those who travel by court, hit my fancy at first sight; so I instantly land or by water, labouring with pride, curiosity, got into it, and finding it in tolerable harmony vanity, spleen, subdivided and combined in with my feelings, I ordered the waiter to call infinitum. Monsieur Dessein, the master of the hotel ; The third class includes the whole army of but Monsieur Dessein being gone to vespers, and peregrine martyrs; more especially those tranot caring to face the Franciscan, whom I saw vellers who set out upon their travels with the on the opposite side of the court in conference benefit of the clergy, either as delinquents, trawith a lady just arrived at the inn, I drew the velling under the direction of governors recomtaffeta-curtain betwixt us, and, being deter- mended by the magistrate ;-or young gentlemen, mined to write my journey, I took out my pen transported by the cruelty of parents and guarand ink, and wrote the preface to it in the dians, and travelling under the direction of desobligeant.

governors recommended by Oxford, Aberdeen, and Glasgow,

There is a fourth class, but their number is so PREFACE

small that they would not deserve a distinction, IN THE DESOBLIGEANT.

were it not necessary, in a work of this nature,

to observe the greatest precision and nicety, to It must have been observed by many a peripa- avoid a confusion of character: and these men tetic philosopher, that Nature has set up, by I speak of are such as cross the seas, and sojourn her own unquestionable authority, certain boun- in a land of strangers, with a view of saving daries and fences to circumscribe the discontent money, for various reasons, and upon various of man; she has effected her purpose in the pretences; but, as they might also save others quietest and easiest manner, by laying him a great deal of unnecessary trouble by saving under almost insuperable obligations to work their money at home, and as their reasons for out his ease, and to sustain his sufferings at travelling are the least complex of any other home. It is there only that she has provided species of emigrants, I shall distinguish these him with the most suitable objects to partake of gentlemen by the name of his happiness, and bear a part of that burden

Simple travellers. which, in all countries and ages, has ever been Thus the whole circle of travellers may be too heavy for one pair of shoulders. 'Tis true, reduced to the following heads :we are endued with an imperfect power of Idle Travellers, Proud Travellers, spreading our happiness sometimes beyond her Inquisitive Travellers, Vain Travellers, limits; but 'tis so ordered that, from the want Lying Travellers, Splenetic Travellers;

Then follow 1 A chaise so called in France, from its holding but

The Travellers of Necessity,
The Delinquent and Felonious Traveller,

one person.

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The Unfortunate and Innocent Traveller, they might have seen dry-shod at home. It is
The Simple Traveller ;

an age so full of light, that there is scarce a And last of all (if you please), The Sentimental country or corner of Europe whose beams are Traveller (meaning thereby myself), who have not crossed and interchanged with others. — travelled—and of which I am now sitting down Knowledge, in most of its branches, and in to give an account-as much out of Necessity, most affairs, is like music in an Italian street, and the besoin de Voyager, as any one in the whereof those may partake who pay nothing. class.

But there is no nation under heaven,-and God I am well aware, at the same time, as both my is my record (before whose tribunal I must one travels and observations will be altogether of a day come and give an account of this work) that different cast from any of my forerunners, that I do not speak it vauntingly,—but there is no I might have insisted upon a whole niche entirely nation under heaven 'abounding with more vato myself ;-but I should break in upon the con riety of learning-where the sciences may be fines of the Vain Traveller, in wishing to draw more fitly wooed, or more surely won, than here attention towards me, till I have some better --where Art is encouraged, and will soon rise grounds for it than the mere Novelty of my high-where Nature (take her altogether) has so Vehicle. It is sufficient for my reader, if he has little to answer for-and, to close all, where been a traveller himself, that, with dy and there is more wit and variety of character to reflection hereupon, he may be able to deter-feed the mind with.—Where then, my dear mine his own place and rank in the catalogue ;- countrymen, are you going ?-it will be one step towards knowing himself, as .. We are only looking at this chaise, said it is great odds but he retains some tincture and they.... Your most obedient servant, said I, resemblance of what he imbibed or carried out, skipping out of it, and pulling off my hat. . . to the present hour.

We were wondering, said one of them, who, The man who first transplanted the grape of I found, was an Inquisitive Traveller, -what Burgundy to the Cape of Good Hope (observe he could occasion its motion. . . . 'Twas the agiwas a Dutchman) never dreamt of drinking the tation, said I, coolly, of writing a preface. same wine at the Cape that the same grape pro- . I never heard, said the other, who was a duced upon the French mountains, -he was too Simple Trareller, of a preface wrote in a desophlegmatic for that;-but, undoubtedly, he ex-bligeant. ... It would have been better, said I, pected to drink some sort of vinous liquor ;-but in a vis-a-vis. whether good, bad, or indifferent, - he knew As an Englishman does not travel to sce enough of this world to know that it did not Englishmen, I retired to my room. depend upon his choice, but that what is generally called chance was to decide his success :

CALAIS. however, he hoped for the best; and in these hopes, by an intemperate confidence in the for- I PERCEIVED that something darkened the pastitude of his head and the depth of his discre- sage more than myself, as I stepped along it to tion, Mynheer might possibly overset both in his my room ; it was effectually Mons. Dessein, the new vineyard, and, by discovering his naked- master of the hotel, who had just returned from ness, become a laughing-stock to his people. vespers, and, with his hat under his arm, was

Even so it fares with the poor traveller, sail- most complaisantly following me, to put me in ing and posting through the politer kingdoms of mind of my wants. I had wrote myself pretty the globe, in pursuit of knowledge and improve- / well out of conceit with the desobligeant ; and ments.

Mons. Dessein speaking of it with a shrug, as if Knowledge and improvements are to be got it would no way suit me, it immediately struck by sailing and posting for that purpose; but my fancy that it belonged to some Innocent whether useful knowledge and real improve- Traveller, who, on his return home, had left it ments are all a lottery ;-and, even where the to Mons. Dessein's honour to make the most of. adventurer is successful, the acquired stock must Four months had elapsed since it had finished be used with caution and sobriety, to turn to its career of Europe in the corner of Mons. any profit;-but, as the chances run prodigiously Dessein's coach-yard : and having sallied out the other way, both as to the acquisition and thence but a vamped-up business at first, application, I am of opinion that a man would though it had been twice taken to pieces on act as wisely if he could prevail upon himself to Mount Sennis, it had not profited much by its live contented without foreign knowledge or adventures,—but by none so little as the standforeign improvements, especially if he lives in a ing so many months unpitied in the corner of country that has no absolute want of either ;

-Mons. Dessein's coach-yard. Much, indeed, and, indeed, much grief of heart has it oft and was not to be said for it, but something might; many a time cost me when I have observed how and, when a few words will rescue Miscry out many a foul step the Inquisitive Traveller has of her distress, I hate the man who can be a measured, to see sights and look into discoveries, churl of them. all which, as Sancho Pança said to Don Quixote, -Now, was I the master of this hotel, said I,

laying the point of my forefinger on Mons. hand is against every man, and every man's Dessein's breast, I would inevitably make a hand against thee. point of getting rid of this unfortunate deso- Heaven forbid ! said she, raising her hand bligeant ; it stands swinging reproaches at you up to her forehead; for I had turned full in front every time you pass by it.

upon the lady whom I had seen in conference Mon Dieu ! said Mons. Dessein,-I have no with the monk :-she had followed us unperinterest. . . . Except the interest, said I, which ceived. -Heaven forbid, indeed ! said I, offermen of a certain turn of mind take, Mons. | ing her my own ;-she had a black pair of silk Dessein, in their own sensations,-- I'm per- gloves, open only at the thumb and two foresuaded, to a man who feels for others as well fingers,—so accepted it without reserve,-and I as for himself, every rainy night, disguise it as led her up to the door of the remise. you will, must cast a damp upon your spirits. Monsieur Dessein had diabled the key above You suffer, Mons. Dessein, as much as the fifty times, before he found out he had come machine.

with a wrong one in his hand : we were as imI have always observed, when there is as patient as himself to have it opened; and so much sour as sweet in a compliment, that an attentive to the obstacle, that I continued holdEnglishman is eternally at a loss within himself ing her hand almost without knowing it: so whether to take it or let it alone; a Frenchman that Mons. Dessein left us together, with her never is ; Mons. Dessein made me a bow.

hand in mine, and with our faces turned toC'est bien vrai, said he.-But, in this case, wards the door of the remise, and said he would I should only exchange one disquietude for be back in five minutes. another, and with loss. Figure to yourself, my Now, a colloquy of five minutes, in such a dear sir, that in giving you a chaise which situation, is worth one of as many ages, with would fall to pieces before you had got half-way your faces turned toward the street. In the to Paris,-figure to yourself how much I should latter case, 'tis drawn from the objects and suffer, in giving an ill impression of myself to occurrences without;-when your eyes are fixed a man of honour, and lying at the mercy, as I upon a dead blank, you draw purely from must do, d'un homme d'esprit.

yourselves. A silence of a single moment, The dose was made up exactly after my own upon Mons. Dessein's leaving us, had been fatal prescription ; so I could not help taking it, -and to the situation, – she had infallibly turned returning Mons. Dessein his bow, without more about ;-so I began the conversation instantly. casuistry we walk'd together towards his remise, -But what were the temptations (as I write to take a view of his magazine of chaises. not to apologize for the weaknesses of my heart

in this tour, but to give an account of them) shall be described with the same simplicity with

which I felt them. IN THE STREET.

CALAIS.

THE REMISE DOOR. It must needs be a hostile kind of a world,

CALAIS. when the buyer (if it be but of a sorry postchaise) cannot go forth with the seller thereof WHEN I told the reader that I did not care to into the street, to terminate the difference get out of the desobligeant, because I saw the betwixt them, but he instantly falls into the monk in close conference with the lady just same frame of mind, and views his conven- arrived at the inn, I told him the truth; but I tionist with the same sort of eye as if he was did not tell him the whole truth; for I was full going along with him to Hyde Park Corner to as much restrained by the appearance and fight a duel. For my own part, being but a figure of the lady he was talking to. Suspicion poor swordsman, and no way a match for Mons. crossed my brain, and said, he was telling her Dessein, I felt the rotation of all the move- what had passed: something jarred upon it within ments within me to which the situation is me,-I wished him at his convent. incident;-I looked at Monsieur Dessein through When the heart flies out before the underand through, -eyed him as he walked along in standing, it saves the judgment a world of profile,-then en face ;-thought he looked like pains.—I was certain she was of a better order a Jew,-then a Turk, — disliked his wig, -of beings :-however, I thought no more of her, cursed him by my gods,-wished him at the but went on and wrote my preface. devil!

The impression returned, upon my encounter And is all this to be lighted up in the heart with her in the street; a guarded frankness, for a beggarly account of three or four louis with which she gave me her hand, showed, I d'ors, which is the most I can be overreached thought, her good education and her good in ?-Base passion ! said I, turning myself about, sense ; and, as I led her on, I felt a pleasurable as a man naturally does upon a sudden reverse ductility about her, which spread a calmness of sentiment, – base, ungentle passion ! thy over all my spirits.

-Good God! how a man might lead such heart knew it, and was satisfied; and who but a creature as this round the world with him ! an English philosopher would have sent notice

I had not yet seen her face,-'twas not of it to the brain to reverse the judgment ? material; for the drawing was instantly set In saying this, she disengaged her hand, with about, and long before we had got to the door a look which I thought a sufficient commentary of the remise, Fancy had finished the whole

upon the text. head, and pleased herself as much with its fit- It is a miserable picture which I am going to ting her goddess as if she had dived into the give of the weakness of my heart, by owning Tiber for it ;-but thou art seduced, and a seduc- that it suffered a pain, which worthier occaing slut; and albeit thou cheatest us seven sions could not have inflicted.-I was mortified times a day with thy pictures and images, yet with the loss of her hand; and the manner in with so many charms dost thou do it, and thou which I had lost it carried neither oil nor wine deckest out thy pictures in the shapes of so to the wound : I never felt the pain of a peevish many angels of light, 'tis a shame to brcak with inferiority so miserably in my life. thee.

The triumphs of a true feminine heart are When we had got to the door of the remise, short upon these discomfitures. In a very few she withdrew her hand from across her fore- seconds she laid her hand upon the cuff of my head, and let me see the original. It was a coat, in order to finish her reply; so some way or face of about six-and-twenty,--of a clear trans- other, God knows how, I regained my situation. parent brown, simply set off without rouge or -She had nothing to add. powder ;-it was not critically handsome, but I forthwith began to model a different conthere was that in it which, in the frame of mind versation for the lady, thinking, from the spirit I was in, attached me much more to it,-it was as well as moral of this, that I had been misinteresting; I fancied it wore the characters of taken in her character; but, upon turning her a widow'd look, and in that state of its declen-| face towards me, the muscles relaxed, and I sion which had passed the two first paroxysms of saw the same unprotected look of distress which sorrow, and was quietly beginning to reconcile first won me to her interest :--melancholy ! to itself to its loss ;-but a thousand other dis- sce such sprightliness the prey of sorrow,-I tresses might have traced the same lines; I pitied her from my soul; and, though it may wish'd to know what they had been,-and was seem ridiculous enough to a torpid heart, I ready to inquire (had the same bon ton of con- could have taken her into my arms, and versation permitted as in the days of Esdras), cherished her, though it was in the open street,

What aileth thee? and why art thou disquieted ? without blushing. and why is thy understanding troubled ?' In a The pulsation of the arteries along my fingers word, I felt benevolence for her, and resolved, pressing across hers, told her what was passing some way or other, to throw in my mitc of within me. She looked down :-a silence of courtesy--if not of service.

some moments followed. Such were my temptations ;-and in this dis- I fear, in this interval, I must have made position to give way to them, was I left alone some slight efforts towards a closer compreswith the lady, with her hand in mine, and with sion of her hand, from a subtle sensation I our faces both turned closer to the door of the felt in the palm of my own, -not as if she was remise than was absolutely necessary.

going to withdraw hers, but as if she thought about it; -and I had infallibly lost it a second

time, had not instinct, more than reason, THE REMISE DOOR.

directed me to the last resource in these dangers,—to hold it loosely, and in a manner

as if I was every moment going to release it of This certainly, fair lady, said I, raising her myself: so she let it continue till Mons. Dessein hand up a little lightly as I began, must be returned with the key; and in the meantime one of Fortune's whimsical doings; to take two I set myself to consider how I should undo the utter strangers by their hands, -of different ill impressions which the poor monk's story, in sexes, and perhaps from different corners of case he had told it her, must have planted in the globe, and in one moment place them to- her breast against me. gether in such a cordial situation as Friendship herself could scarce have achieved for them, had she projected it for a month.

THE SNUFF-BOX. ... And your reflection upon it shows how

CALAIS. much, Monsieur, she has embarrassed you by the adventure.

The good old monk was within six paccs of us When the situation is what we would wish, as the idea of him cross'd my mind; and was nothing is so ill-timed as to hint at the circum- advancing towards us, a little out of the line, stances which make it so. -You thank For- as if uncertain whether he should break in upon tune, continued she ;-you had reason,-the us or no. He stopped, however, as soon as he

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CALAIS.

CALAIS.

came up to us, with a world of frankness, and, buried, not in his convent, but, according to his having a horn snuff-box in his hand, he pre- desire, in a little cemetery belonging to it, sented it open to me. ... You shall taste mine, about two leagues off. I had a strong desire said I, pulling out my box (which was a small to see where they had laid him,-when, upon tortoise one), and putting it into his hand. . pulling out his little horn-box, as I sat by his 'Tis most excellent, said the monk. ... Then grave, and plucking up a nettle or two at the do me the favour, I replied, to accept of the head of it, which had no business to grow there, box and all; when you take a pinch out of it, they all struck together so forcibly upon my sometimes recollect it was the peace-offering of affections that I burst into a flood of tears ;a man who once used you unkindly, but not but I am as weak as a woman; and I beg the from his heart.

world not to smile, but pity me. The poor monk blush'd as red as scarlet. Mon Dieu ! said he, pressing his hands together,

THE REMISE DOOR. -you never used me unkindly. ... I should think, said the lady, he is not likely. ...I blush'd in my turn; but from what movements, I leave to the few who feel to analyse. Ex- | I HAD never quitted the lady's hand all this cuse me, madam, replied I,-I treated him time; and had held it so long, that it would most unkindly; and from no provocations. ... have been indecent to have let it go without 'Tis impossible, said the lady. My God! first pressing it to my lips : the blood and spirits, cried the monk, with a warmth of asseveration which had suffered a revulsion from her, crowded which seemed not to belong to him,—the fault back to her as I did it. was in me, and in the indiscretion of my zeal. Now the two travellers, who had spoke to me

The lady opposed it; and I joined with her in the coach-yard, happened at that crisis to be in maintaining that it was impossible that a spirit passing by, and, observing our communication, so regulated as his could give offence to any. naturally took it into their heads that we must

I knew not that contention could be rendered be man and wife at least; so, stopping as soon so sweet and pleasurable a thing to the nerves as they came up to the door of the remise, the as I then felt it. We remained silent, without one of them, who was the Inquisitive Traveller, any sensation of that foolish pain which takes asked us if we set out for Paris the next mornplace when, in such a circle, you look for ten ing?... I could only answer for myself, I said; minutes in one another's faces without saying -and the lady added, she was for Amiens. ... a word. Whilst this lasted, the monk rubbed We dined there yesterday, said the Simplo his horn-box upon the sleeve of his tunic; and Traveller. ... You go directly through the as soon as it had acquired a little air of bright- town, added the other, in your road to Paris. — ness by the friction, he made a low bow, and I was going to return a thousand thanks for said, 'Twas too late to say whether it was the the intelligence that Amiens was in the road to weakness or goodness of our tempers which had Paris; but, upon pulling out my poor monk's involved us in this contest;- but, be as it | little horn-box to take a pinch of snuff, I made would, he begged we might exchange boxes.- them a quiet bow, and wished them a good In saying this, he presented his to me with one passage to Dover.-They left us alone. hand, as he took mine from me in the other; Now where would be the harm, said I to and having kissed it, with a stream of good myself, if I was to beg of this distressed lady to nature in his eyes, he put it into his bosom- accept of half of my chaise ?—and what mighty and took his leave.

mischief could ensue? I guard this box as I would the instrumental Every dirty passion and bad propensity in my parts of my religion, to help my mind on to nature took the alarm as I stated the proposisomething better. In truth, I seldom go abroad | tion :--It will oblige you have a third horse, said without it; and oft and many a time have I Avarice, which will put twenty livres out of called up by it the courteous spirit of its owner your pocket. You know not what she is, said to regulate my own, in the jostlings of the Caution; or what scrapes the affair may draw world : they had found full employment for his, you into, whisper'd Cowardice. as I learned from his story, till about the forty- –Depend upon it, Yorick, said Discretion, fifth year of his age, when, upon some military 'twill be said you went off with a mistress; and services ill requited, and meeting at the same came, by assignation, to Calais for that purpose. time with a disappointment in the tenderest of - You can never after, cried Hypocrisy, passions, he abandoned the sword and the sex aloud, show your face in the world ;-nor rise, together, and took sanctuary, not so much in quoth Meanness, in the church ;-nor be anyhis convent as in himself.

thing in it, said Pride, but a lousy prebendary. I feel a damp upon my spirits as I am going But 'tis a civil thing, said I;--and as I to add that, in my last return through Calais, generally act from the first impulse, and thereupon inquiring after Father Lorenzo, I heard fore seldom listen to these cabals, which serve he had been dead near three months; and was no purpose that I know of but to encompass the

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