Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause?adem

Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed; bear your body more seemingly, Audry: as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is called the Retort courteous. If I sent him word again, it was not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please himself: this is called the Quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment: this is called the Reply churlish. If again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true: this is called the Reproof valiant. If again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lie: this is called the Countercheck quarrelsome : and so to the Lie circumstantial, and the Lie direct.

Jaq. And how oft did you say, his beard was not well cut? Touch. I durst go no farther than the Lie circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the Lie direct; so we measured swords, and parted.

Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? Touch. O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book; as you have books for good manners: I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous; the second, the Quip modest; the third, the Reply churlish; the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with circumstance; the seventh, the Lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the Lie direct; and you may avoid that, too, with an If. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an If, as, "If you said so, then I said so; " and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your If is the only peacemaker; much virtue in If.

Jay. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at any thing, and yet a fool.

Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the presentation of that, he shoots his wit.

SHAKSPEARE.

AN ANSWER TO FIT ANY QUESTION.

COUNTESS CLOWN.

Count. Come on, sir; I shall now put you to the hight of your breeding.

Clo. I will show myself highly fed, and lowly taught: I know my business is but to the court.

Count. To the court! why, what place make you special, when you put off that with such contempt? But to the court!

Clo. Truly, madam, if God have lent a man any manners, he may easily put it off at court: he that cannot make a leg, put off's cap, kiss his hand and say nothing, has neither leg, hands, lip, nor cap; and, indeed, such a fellow, to say precisely, were not for the court. But, for me, I have an answer will serve all

men.

Count. Will your answer serve fit to all questions?

Clo. As fit as ten groats is for the hand of an attorney. As a scolding quean to a wrangling knave, as the nun's lip to the friar's mouth; nay, as the pudding to his skin.

Count. Have you, I say, an answer of such fitness for all questions?

Clo. From below your duke, to beneath your constable, it will fit any question.

Count. It must be an answer of most monstrous size, that must fit all demands.

Clo. But a trifle neither, in good faith, if the learned should speak truth of it: here it is, and all that belongs to 't: Ask me, if I am a courtier; it shall do you no harm to learn.

Count. To be young again, if we could: I will be a fool in question, hoping to be the wiser by your answer. I pray you, sir, are you a courtier ?

Clo. O Lord, sir, more, a hundred of them.

There's a simple putting off; -more,

Count. Sir, I am a poor friend of yours, that loves you.
Clo. O Lord, sir, — Thick, thick, spare not me.

Count. I think, sir, you can eat none of this homely meat.
Clo. O Lord, sir,-Nay, put me to 't, I warrant you.
Count. You were lately whipped, sir, as I think.

Clo. O Lord, sir, Spare not me.

Count. Do you cry, "O Lord, sir," at your whipping, and spare not me?" Indeed, your

"O lord, sir," is very sequent

to your whipping; you would answer very well to a whipping, if you were but bound to 't.

Clo. I ne'er had worse luck in my life, in my I see, things may serve long, but not serve ever.

“O Lord, sir.”

Count. I play the noble housewife with the time, to entertain

it so merrily with a fool.

Clo. O Lord, sir,- Why, ther 't serves well again.

Count. An end, sir, to your business: Give Helen this,

And urge her to a present answer back:

Commend me to my kinsmen, and my son;

This is not much.

Clo. Not much commendation to them.
Count. Not much employment for you:

You understand me?

Clo. Most fruitfully; I am there before my legs.
Count. Haste you again.

SHAKSPEARE.

Iago. My noble Lord.

Oth.

What dost thou say, Iago?
Iago. Did Michael Cassio, when you wooed my lady,
Know of your love?

Oth. He did, from first to last: Why dost thou ask?
Iago. But for a satisfaction of my thought;

No further harm.

Oth.

Why of thy thought, Iago?

Iago. I did not think, he had been acquainted with her.
Oth. O, yes; and went between us very oft.

Iago. Indeed?

Oth. Indeed! ay, indeed :- -Discern'st thou aught in that?

Is he not honest ?

By heaven, he echoes me,

As if there were some monster in his thought

Too hideous to be shown.
I heard thee say but now,
When Cassio left my wife;
And, when I told thee
In

Thou dost mean something:
Thou likedst not that,
What did'st not like?
he was of my counsel

my whole course of wooing, thou cry'dst, Indeed!
And didst contract and purse thy brow together,
As if thou then hadst shut up in thy brain
Some horrible conceit: If thou dost love me,
Show me thy thought.

Iago. My lord, you know I love you.

Oth.

I think, thou dcst:

for I know thou art full of love and honesty,

み

And weigh'st thy words before thou giv'st them breath,
Therefore these stops of thine fright me the more:ast
For such things, in a false disloyal knave, or busierabau vo 7
Are tricks of custom; but, in a man that's just,ut 2033
They are close denotements, working from the heart, museo
That passion cannot rule.

Iago.

For Michael Cassio,

I dare be sworn, I think that he is honest.

Oth. I think so too.

Iago.

Men should be what they seem,

Or, those that be not, 'would they might seem none !
Oth. Certain, men should be what they seem.
Iago.

I think that Cassio is an honest man.
Oth. Nay, yet there's more in this:

Why then,

I pray thee, speak to me as to thy thinkings,

As thou dost ruminate; and give thy worst of thoughts
The worst of words.

Iago.

Good my lord, pardon me :

Though I am bound to every act of duty,

I am not bound to that all slaves are free to, ME I

Utter my thoughts? Why, say, they are vile and false, →
As where's that palace, whereinto foul things bri

Sometimes intrude not? who has a breast so pure,
But some uncleanly apprehensions

Keep leets, and law-days, and in sessions sit

With meditations lawful?

Oth. Thou dost conspire against thy friend, Lago,
If thou but think'st him wronged, and mak'st his eɛr
A stranger to thy thoughts.

Iago.
I do beseech you,·
Though I, perchance, am vicious in my guess,w
As, I confess, it is my nature's plaguemos stow
To spy into abuses; and, oft, my jealousyd on
Shapes faults that are not, I entreat you then,
From one that so imperfectly conjects,

You'd take no notice; nor build yourself a trouble
Out of his scattering and unsure observance;
It were not for your quiet, nor your good,
Nor for my manhood, honesty, or wisdom,
To let you know my thoughts.

Oth.

།

What dost thou mean?o?

Iago. Good name, in man, and woman, dear my lord,

Is the immediate jewel of their souls;

Who steals my purse, steals trash; this something, nothing;

'T was mine, 't is his, and has been slave to thousands;
But he, that filches from me my good name, soine v
Robs me of that, which not enriches him, da don sisb yanl
And makes me poor indeed. and anbar ovest o tom
Oth. By heaven, I'll know thy thought.

Iago. You cannot, if my heart were in your hand;ph Nor shall not, whilst 't is in my custody.

Oth. Ha!

Iago. O, beware, my lord, of jealousy.

It is the green-eyed monster, which doth mock

The meat it feeds on: That cuckold lives in bliss, jadi sua Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger;

But, 0, what damned minutes tells he o'er,

Who dotes, yet doubts; suspects, yet strongly loves Įnaii I Oth. O misery!

Iago. Poor, and content, is rich, and rich enough;

But riches, fineless, is as poor as winter,

To him that ever fears he shall be poor:

Good heaven, the souls of all my tribe defend

From jealousy!

Oth vom ein Why? why is this?

Think'st thou, I'd make a life of jealousy,

To follow still the changes of the moon

With fresh suspicions? No: to be once in doubt, og d
Is- once to be resolved: Exchange me for a goat,

When I shall turn the business of my soul

To such exsufficate and blown surmises, bone dosage yl
Matching thy inference. T is not to make me jealous,
To say
wife is fair, feeds well, loves company,
Is free of speech, sings, plays, and dances well;
Where virtue is, these are more virtuous:dub

my

Nor from mine own weak merits will I drawoude
The smallest fear, or doubt of her revolt; pov buAMO
For she had eyes, and chose me: No, Iago; menk
I'll see, before I doubt; when I doubt, prove,
And, on the proof, there is no more but this,
Away at once with love, or jealousy.

Iago. I am glad of this, for now I shall have reason
To show the love and duty that I bear you
With franker spirit; therefore, as I am bound,
Receive it from me: I speak not yet of proof.
Look to your wife; observe her well with Cassio;
Wear your eye-thus, not jealous, nor secure;
I would not have your free and noble nature,
Out of self-bounty, be abused; look to 't: