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Enter Clown and Audrey.
Jaq. There is, fure, another flood toward, and thefe couples are coming to the Ark. Here come a pair of very strange beafts, which in all tongues are call'd fools..
Clo. Salutation, and greeting, to you all!
Jaq. Good, my Lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman, that I have for often met in the foreft: he hath been a Courtier, he fwears.
Clo. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flatter'd a lady; I have been politick with my friend, fmooth with mine enemy; I have undone three taylors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one, b Jaq. And how was That ta'en up?.
Clo. 'Faith, we met; and found, the quarrel was upon the feventh cause 7.
Faq How the seventh caufe?-Good my lord, like
Duke Sen. I like him very well.
Clo. God'ild you, Sir, I defire you of the like; I prefs in here, Sir, among the reft of the country copulatives, to fwear, and to forfwear, according as
marriage binds, and blood breaks a poor vir gin, Sir, an ill-favour'd thing, Sir, but mine own a poor humour of mine, Sir, to take That that no man elfe will. Rich honefty dwells like a mifer, Sir, in a poor house; as your pearl, in your foul oyster.
Duke Sen. By my faith, he is very fwift and fententious. Clo. According to the fool's bolt, Sir, and fuch dulcet difeafes *.oyor
Jaq. But, for the feventh caufe; how did the quarrel on the feventh caufe?
Clo. Upon alye feven times removed; (bear your body more feeming, Audrey) as thus, Sir; I did dif like the cut of a certain Courtier's beard '; he fent me word, if I faid his beard was not cut. well, he was in the mind it was. This is call'd the Retort courteous. If I fent him word again, it was not well cut, he would fend me word, he cut it to pleafe himself. This is call'd the Quip modeft. If again, it was not well cut, he difabled my judgment. This is call'd the Reply churlish. If again, it was not well cut, he would anfwer, I fpake not true. This is call'd the Reproof valiant. If again, it was not well cut, he would fay, Ilye. This is call'd the Countercheck quarrelfome; and fo, the Lye circumftantial, and the Lye direct.
Jaq. And how oft did you fay, his beard was not well cut?
Clo. I durft go no further than the Lye circumftantial; nor he durft not give me the Lye direct, and fo we meafur'd fwords and parted.***
Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the Lye?"
Clo. O Sir, we quarrel in print, by the book; as you have books for good manners. I will name you
2 O Sir, we quarrel in print, by the book;] The Poet has, in this ftene, rallied the mode of formal duelling, then fo prevalent, with the higheft humour and address; nor could he have treated it with a happier contempt, than by making his Clown fo khowing in the forms and preliminaries of it. The particular book here alluded to is a very ridiculous treatife of one Vincentio Saviolo, intitled, Of honour and honourable quarrels, in Quarto, printed by Wolf, 1594. The firit part of this tract he intitles, A difcourfe most neceffary for all gentlemen that have in regard their honors, touching the giving and receiving the lye, whereupon the Duello and the Combat in divers forms doth enfue; and many other inconveniences, for lack only of true knowledge of honor, and the RIGHT UNDERSTANDING OF WORDS, which here is fet down. The contents of the leveral chapters are as follow. I. What the reafon is that the party unto" whom the lye is given ought to become challenger, and of the nature of lies. 11. Of the manner and diversity of lies. III. Of the lye certain, or direct. IV. Of
conditional lies, or the lye circumftantial. V. Of the lye in general. VI. Of the lye in particu lar. VII. Of foclifh lies. VIII. A conclufion touching the wrefting or returning back of the lye, or the countercheck quarreliome. In the chapter of conditional lies, fpeaking of the particle IF, he fays Gonditional lies be fuch as are given conditionally thus, thou hast faid fo or so, then thou lieft. Of these kind of lies, given in this manner, often arise much contention, whereof no fure conclufion can arife. By which he means, they cannot proceed to cut one cut one another's throats, while there is an Ir between. Which is the reafon of Shakespear's mak ing the Clown fay, I knew when feven justices could not make up a quarrel: but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an IF, as if you faid fo, then I faid fo, and they hook hands, and fwore brothers. Your 1 is the only peace-maker; much virtue in IF. Caranza was
another of these authentick Author's upon the Duello. Fletcher in his last Act of Love's Pilgri mage ridicules him with much humour. WARBURTON
the degrees. The firft, the Retort courteous; the fecond, the Quip modeft; the third, the Reply churlifh; the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck quarrelfome; the fixth, the Lye with circumstance; the feventh, the Lye direct. All these you may avoid, but the Lye direct; and you may avoid that too, with an If. I knew, when feven Juftices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themfelves, one of them thought but of an If; as, if you faid fo, then I faid fo; and they fhook hands, and fwore brothers. Your If is the only peace-maker; much virtue in If.
Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my Lord? he's good at any thing, and yet a fool. e p
Duke Sen. He ufes his folly like a ftalking horfe, and under the presentation of that he fhoots his wit
Enter Hymen, Rofalind in woman's cloaths,
Hym. Then is there mirth in heav'n,
Good Duke, receive thy daughter,
That thou might' ft join her hand with his,
Rof. To you I give myfelf; for I am yours.
To the Duke. To you I give my felf; for I am yours. [To Orlando.
Enter Hymen. Rofalind is imagined by the reft of the company to be brought by enchant
ment, and is therefore introduced by a fuppofed aerial being in the character of Hymen. H 4
Duke Sen. If there be truth in fight, you are my daughter.
Orla. If there be truth in fight, you are my Rofa
Phe. If fight and fhape be true,
Why, then my love adieu!
Rof. I'll have no father, if you be not he,
I'll have no husband, if you be not he.
'Tis I must make conclufion
Of these moft ftrange events; Here's eight that must take hands, To join in Hymen's bands,
If truth holds true contents 4! & You and you no Crofs fhall part;
[To the Duke.
To Orlando. [To Phebe.
[To Orlando and Rofalind.
You and you are heart in hearts alph
[To Oliver and Celia. You to his love muft accord, le to me? Postal m's I Or have a woman to your lord.of [To Phebe. You and you are fure together, and Jack A SAMţ As the winter to foul weather:
W tsp to asM [To the Clown and Audrey.
Whiles a wedlock-hymn we fing,