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Cannot attain it, why then-hark you hither.
Enter Shallow, Slender, and Mistress Quickly.
Shal. Break their talk, miftrefs Quickly; my kinf man fhall fpeak for himself.
Slen. I'll make a fhaft or a bolt on't: 'd'slid, 'tis but venturing.
Shal. Be not difmay'd.
Slen. No, fhe fhall not difmay me: I care not for that, but that I am affeard.
Quic. Hark ye, Mr. Slender would fpeak a word with you.
Anne. I come to him. This is my father's choice.
Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadft a father!
Slen. I had a father, Mrs. Anne; my uncle can tell you good jefts of him.-Pray you, uncle, tell Mrs. Anne the jeft, how my father ftole two geefe out of a pen, good uncle.
Shal. Miftrefs Anne, my coufin loves you.
Slen. Ay, that I do, as well as I love any woman in Gloucestershire.
Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a Squire.
Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.
Anne. Good mafter Shallow, let him woo for himself. Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that. Good comfort; fhe calls you, coz. I'll leave you. Anne. Now, mafter Slender.
Slen. Now, good miftrefs Anne.
Slen. My Will? od's heart-lings, that's a pretty jeft, indeed; I ne'er made my Will yet, I thank heav'n; I am not fuch a fickly creature, I give heav'n praise.
Anne. I mean, Mr. Slender, what would you with me? Slen. Truly, for my own part, I would little or nothing with you; your you; your father and my uncle have made motions; if it be my luck, fo; if not, happy man be his dole! they can tell how things go, better than I can; you may ask your father; here he comes.
Enter Page, and Mistress Page.
Page. Now, mafter Slender: love him, daughter
-Why how now? what does mafter Fenton here?
Fent. Nay, mafter Page, be not impatient.
Mrs. Page. Good Mafter Fenton, come not to my child.
Page. She is no match for you.
Come, mafter Shallow; come, fon Slender, in.
Knowing my mind, you wrong me, mafter Fenton.
Quic. Speak to mistress Page.
Fent. Good miftrefs Page, for that I love your
In fuch a righteous fashion as I do,
Perforce, against all checks, rebukes and manners,
And not retire. Let me have your good will.
Quic. That's my mafter, mafter Doctor.
Anne. Alas, I had rather be fet quick i'th' earth, And bowl'd to death with turnips 2.
Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself; good mafter Fenton,
I will not be your friend nor enemy:
My daughter will I queftion how she loves you,
'Till then, farewel, Sir-she must needs go in, Her Father will be angry. [Exe. Mrs. Page and Anne. Fent. Farewel, gentle miftrefs; farewel, Nan.
Quic. This is my doing now. Nay, faid I, will you caft away your child on a fool, and a physician? look on mafter Fenton-This is my doing.
Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night Give my sweet Nan this ring. There's for thy pains. [Exit. Quic. Now heav'n fend thee good fortune! A kind heart he hath, a woman would run through fire and water for fuch a kind heart. But yet, I would my mafter had miftrefs Anne, or I would Mr. Slender had her; or, in footh, I would Mr. Fenton had her. I will do what I can for them all three, for fo I have promis'd; and I'll be as good as my word, but fpeciously for Mr. Fenton, Well, I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from my two miftreffes; what a beast am I to flack it?
2 Anne. Alas, I had rather be to the procurefs, Quickly, who fet quick i'th earth, would mock the young woman's And bowl'd to death with tur- averfion for her mafter the Docnips.] Can we think the WARBURTON. fpeaker would thus ridicule her *-fool and a phyfician?] own imprecation? We may be I should read fool or a phyfician, fure the last line fhould be given meaning Slender and Caius.
Changes to the Garter-Inn.
Enter Falftaff and Bardolph.
ARDOLPH, I' fay.
Fal. Go fetch me a quart of fack, put a toast in't. [Ex. Bard.] Have I liv'd to be carry'd in a basket, like a barrow of butchers' offal, and to be thrown into the Thames? well, if I be ferv'd fuch another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a new year's gift. The rogues flighted me into the river with as little remorfe 3 as they would have drown'd a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i'th' litter; and you may know, by my fize, that I have a kind of alacrity in finking: if the bottom were as deep as hell, I fhould down. I had been drown'd, but that the fhore was fhelvy and fhallow; a death that I abhor; for the water fwells a man: and what a thing fhould I have been, when I had been fwell'd? I fhould have been a mountain of mummy.
Now, is the Sack brew'd?
Bard. Here's Mrs. Quickly, Sir, to fpeak with you, Fal. Come, let me pour in fome fack to the Thames
3 In former copies,
as they would have drown'd a blind Bitch's puppies,] I have ventur'd to tranfpofe the Adjective here, againft the Authority of the printed Copies. I know, in horles, a Colt from a blind
Stallion lofes much of the Value it might otherwise have; but are puppies ever drown'd the fooner, for coming from a blind Bitch? The Author certainly. wrote, as they would have drown'd a Bitch's blind puppies. THEOв.
water; for my belly's as cold as if I had fwallow'd fnow-balls, for pills to cool the reins. Call her in. Bard. Come in, woman.
Enter Mrs. Quickly.
Quic. By your leave-I cry you mercy. Give your worship good morrow.
Fal. Take away thefe challices: go brew me a pottle of fack finely.
Bard. With eggs, Sir?
Fal. Simple of itfelf; I'll no pullet-fperm in my brewage-How now?
Quic. Marry, Sir, I come to your worship from mistress Ford.
Fal. Miftrefs Ford? I have had Ford enough; I was thrown into the Ford; I have my belly full of Ford.
Quic. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: fhe does fo take on with her men; they mistook their erection.
Fal. So did I mine, to build on a foolish woman's promise.
Quic. Well, the laments, Sir, for it, that it would yern your heart to fee it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; fhe defires you once more to come to her between eight and nine. I must carry her word quickly; fhe'll make you amends, I warrant you.
Fal. Well, I will vifit her; tell her fo, and bid her think, what a man is: let her confider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.
Quic. I will tell her.
Fal. Do fo. Between nine and ten, fay'st thou?
Fal. Well, be gone; I will not mifs her.
Quic. Peace be with you, Sir.