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Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more faid? he is good and fair.-Is Sir John Falstaff here?
Page. Sir, he is within; and I would, I could do a good office between you.
Eva. It is fpoke as a christian ought to speak. Shal. He hath wrong'd me, mafter Page. Page. Sir, he doth in fome fort confefs it. Shal. If it be confefs'd, it is not redrefs'd; is not that fo, master Page? He hath wrong'd me-indeed, he hath at a word, he hath-believe me-Robert Shallow, Efq; faith, he is wrong'd. Page. Here comes Sir John.
Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym and Pistol.
Fal. Now, mafter Shallow, you'll complain of me to the Council?
Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, kill'd my deer, and broke open my lodge *.
Fal. But not kifs'd your keeper's daughter.
Shal. Tut, a pin; this fhall be answer’d.
Fal. I will anfwer it ftrait: I have done all this. That is now answer'd.
Shal. The Council fhall know this.
Fal. 'Twere better for you, if. 'twere not known in Council: you'll be laugh'd at.
Eva. Pauca verba, Sir John, good worts.
Fal. Good worts? good cabbage. Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against me?
Slen. Marry, Sir, I have matter in my head against you, and against your cony-catching-rafcals Bardolph, Nym and Piftol.
of Elizabeth, a common name for a cheat or fharper. Green, one of the first among us who made a trade of writing pamphlets, Gg 4 published
* This probably alludes to fome real incident, at that time well known.
"A Coneycatcher was in the time
Bar. You Banbury cheese!
Slen. Where's Simple, my man? can you tell, coufin? Eva. Peace: I pray you: now let us understand; there is three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that is, mafter Page; fidelicet, mafter Page; and there is myfelf; fidelicet, myfelf; and the three party is, laftly and finally, mine Hoft of the Garter.
Page. We three to hear it, and end it between them. Eva. Ferry goot; I will make a prief of it in my note-book, and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great difcreetly as we can.
Pift. He hears with ears.
Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrafe is this, he hears with ears? why this is affectations.
Fal. Piftol, did you pick master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by thefe gloves, did he; (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again elfe,) of feven groats in mill-fixpences, and two Edward fhovel-boards, that coft me two fhilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by thefe gloves.
Fal. Is this true, Piftol?
Eva. No; it is falfe, if it is a pick-purse.
Pift. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner-Sir John, and mafter mine.
I Combat challenge of this latten bilboe
Word of denial in thy Labra's here;
Slen. By thefe gloves, then 'twas he.
Nym. Be advis'd, Sir, and pafs good humours: I will fay marry trap with you, if you run the bafe humour on me; that is the very note of it.
Slen. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for tho' I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an afs.
Fal. What fay you, Scarlet and John??
Word, Latin, in Italic Characters, as if it was addrefs'd to Sir Hugh, and meant to call him pedantic Blade, on account of his being a Schoolmafter, and teaching Latin. But I'll be bold to fay, in This they do not take the Poet's Conceit. Piflol barely calls Sir Hugh Mountain-foreigner, becaufe he had interpos'd in the Difpute; but then immediately demands the Combat of Slender, for having charg'd him with picking his Pocket. The old Quar to's write it Latten, as it fhould be, in the common Characters: And as a Proof that the Author defign'd This fhould be address'd to Slender, Sir Hugh does not there interpofe one Word in the Quarrel. But what then fignifies
latten Bilbo? Why, Piftel feeing Slender fuch a flim, puny, Wight; would intimate, that he is as thin as a Plate of that compound Metal, which is call'd latten: and which was, as we are Montold, the Old Orichalc. fieur Dacier, upon this Verfe in Horace's Epifle de Arte Poetica, Tibia non ut nunc Orichalcó
fays, C'est une espece de Cuivre de montagne, comme fon nam mefme le
*Marry trap.] When a man was caught in his own ftratagem, I fuppofe the exclamation of infult was marry, trap!
9 Word of denial in thy Labra's here;] I fuppofe it should rather be read,
Word of denial in my Labra's hear.
That is, hear the word of denial in my lips, Thou lieft.
1-bafe humour Read, pass the Nutbooks humour. Nuthcok was a term of reproach in the vulgar way, and in cant ftrain. In the fecond part of Hen. IV. Doll Tearsheet lays to the beadle, Nuthook, Nuthook, you lie. Probably it was a name given to a bailiff or catchpole, very odious to the common people. HANMER. Scarlet and John?] The names of two cf Robin Hood's companions; but the humour confifts in the allufion to Bardolph's red face; concerning which fee the fecond part of Henry the fourth. WARBURTON,
Bard. Why, Sir, for my part, I fay, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five fentences. Eva. It is his five fenfes: fie, what the Ignorance is! Bard. And being fap, Sir, was, as they fay, cafhier'd; and fo conclufions paft the car-eires *.
Slen. Ay, you fpake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter; I'll never be drunk whilft I live again, but in honeft, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.
Eva. So Got udg me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters deny'd, gentlemen; you hear it.
Enter Mistress Anne Page, with winę.
Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit Anne Page. Slen. O heav'n! this is miftrefs Anne Page.
Enter Miftrefs Ford and Miftrefs Page.
Page. How now, miftrefs Ford?
Fal. Miftrefs Ford, by my troth, you are very well met; by your leave, good miftrefs. [Kiffing her.
Page. Wife, bid thefe gentlemen welcome: come, we have a hot venifon pasty to dinner; come, gentle, men; I hope, we fhall drink down all unkindness. [Exe. Fal. Page, &c.
S CE NE IV.
Manent Shallow, Evans, and Slender.
Slen. I had rather than forty fhillings, I had my book of fongs and fonnets here.
How now, Simple, where have you been? I must wait
* Careires.] I believe this ftrange word is nothing but the French cariere, and the expref
that the common bounds of good behaviour were overpafed.
WINDSOR. on myself, must I? you have not the book of riddlesabout you, have you?
Simp. Book of riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas laft, a fortnight afore Michaelmas?
Shal. Come, coż; come, coz; we stay for you: a word with you, coz: marry this, coz; there is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here; do you understand me?
Slen. Ay, Sir, you fhall find me reasonable: if it be fo, I fhall do that that is reafon.
Shal. Nay, but understand me.
Eva. Give ear to his motions, Mr. Slender: I will defcription the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.
Slen. Nay, I will do, as my coufin Shallow fays: I pray you, pardon me; he's a Juftice of peace in his country, fimple tho' I stand here.
Eva. But that is not the queftion; the question is concerning your marriage.
Shal. Ay, there's the point, Sir.
Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it, to Mrs. Anne Page.
Slen. Why, if it be fo, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.
Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? 'let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philofophers hold, that the lips is parcel of
upon Allhallowmas laft, a fortnight afore Michaelmas.] Sure, Simple's a little out in his Reckoning. Allhallowmas is almoft five Weeks after Michaelmas. But may it not be urg'd it is defign'd, Simple fhould appear thus ignorant, to keep up Character? I thing, not. The fimpleft Creatures (nay, even Naturals) generally are very precife in the Knowledge of Festivals,
and marking how the Seasons run and therefore I have ventur'd to fufpect our Poet wrote Martlemas, as the Vulgar call it : which is near a fortnight after All Saints Day, i. e. eleven Days, both inclufive. THEOBALD. This correction, thus feriously. and wifely enforced, is received by Sir Tho. Hanmer, but probably Shakespeare intended a blunder.