CHAPTER XI.

I HAVE A DISCOURSE WITH GRANVILLE ON THE SYSTEM OF TRADING CRITICISM.-PICTURE OF

A DISTRESSED MAN OF LETTERS.

What would'st write of me, if thou should'st praise me? Oh, gentle lady, do not put me to't, for I am nothing if not critical.

SHAKSPEARE.-Othello.

THE next day, eager to solve some of the difficulties as to his craft, occasioned by the meeting with Paragraph, I called upon Granville to renew the subject, and to ask him to introduce me to the friend who, he thought, could so enlighten me. He himself, however, had powers and experience to do so, without aid, as will presently be seen. As to the introduction, he said he was very willing to effect it, if I would make such a journey as to Fleet-street; but that his friend lived in such a hole, he feared I should not like it.

Upon inspecting his address, it proved to be Wine Office Court, Fleet-street.

“Come,” said I, "if the great Johnson did not disdain such a neighbourhood, and if the amiable, elegant Goldsmith lived in Fleet-market itself, do not let us be too nice in visiting a man of merit, only because he is lodged like them."

It was settled, therefore, that we should proceed to Wine Office Court; but first, by way of proper introduction, Granville said he would tell me something of his friend's history.

His name was Graves. He had been educated and distinguished as a classic at Rugby. His father, a country apothecary, could have well provided for him in his own line, but he would not relinquish Homer for Galen; in short, he hated the shop; so he came to Trinity College with a prodigious quantity of Greek and Latin, and a total ignorance of the world. Here he was treated as a quiz, as he almost deserved, in every thing but books; yet so mild and unoffending was he, that nobody could use him ill, and the tutors and fellows all gave him respect for his scholarship. In particular, one of the fellows, the famous wit, poet, and punster of the University, the Rev. T. W

took him by the hand; so that, when his father died, which he did just after he had taken his degree, leaving scarcely bread to his mother, and none at all to himself, Mr. W interested himself about his provision, and, as the college prospects were closed upon him from not being on the foun

dation, he advised him, on the strength of his bookknowledge, so seek it in London.

For this purpose, he gave him a recommendation for employment to a very great personage; indeed, the supposed sovereign of literature and criticism of that time, and who, if he had not the talent of his prototype, Smollett, had all his moroseness, and a self-sufficiency almost equal to Smollett's pride. His patron added to this a not inconsiderable loan, which the honest fellow afterwards repaid.

"His reception, or rather non-reception, by Mr. Spleenwort, at that time the king of the critical press, was so remarkable, and will give you," said Granville,"such an insight into the character of some of these guides of the public taste, that I cannot do better than relate it, as he related it

to me.

"First, agreeably to what he had been told, that Mr. Spleenwort exacted the utmost of the ceremonial between those who seek, and those who distribute employment, Graves thought it most respectful to inclose his letter of introduction in a sort of complimentary note, requesting an interview.

"Had Spleenwort,' said Graves, been first Lord of the Treasury, I could not have been more humble; or if I had been a porter in his hall, the First Lord would not have been so much the reverse.'

"Graves waited a whole week, under a total silence, when he ventured to remind the great man of his first note, by a second, informing him that he only waited in town to know his pleasure.

"To this, after a few days' more of delay, Spleenwort condescended to reply, but not in his own hand; and the letter," said Granville, " is such a curiosity, that Graves, having made me a present of it, I have looked it out for you."

Here he took it out of a cabinet, and I read as follows:

"Sir-I am really so oppressed by the numerous applications from literary gentlemen of Oxford and Cambridge, and the Scotch Universities (indeed, from all parts of the world), that it is impossible to say when I can see you, or whether I can see you at all. I am even obliged to make use of my chief clerk's hand to acknowledge Mr. W's letter. I have great respect for that gentleman's own abilities; but I cannot conceal from you that I have so often been disappointed in the assistants whom he has recommended, that I am forced to be very chary in my selection of them. Most of them, however well intentioned, or versed in book knowledge, have no knowledge of the world, still less of business, and of the principles which necessarily govern the directors of the critical press they are totally ignorant.

"Mr. W―'s eulogy of you is strong, and I have

no doubt you deserve all he has said of your TEMPER, LEARNING, CANDOUR, FAIRNESS, and IMPARTIALITY; but, to be plain with you, temper, impartiality, learning, and all that, though good in themselves, are not only common among young men, but are not exactly what we most look to, in a widelycirculated periodical like ours. I, therefore, by no means wish you to remain in town, to wait the time when I can see you; but if you are in the way, and will take the chance of my being at leisure some day next week, I will be glad (should I be so) to enter into your qualifications, terms, &c. &c. Meantime, I remain, Sir,

"Yours, &c. &c.

"SOLOMON SPLEENWORT."

I was petrified with the insolence of this letter, but particularly with the passage which did not blush to say, that the qualities of temper and impartiality were not exactly those that suited a critic.

"You see he was at least honest," said Granville. "Honest in avowing dishonesty,” replied I; "but can it be, that a critic must, or can, discard these sacred qualities ?”

"You are most terribly green," returned my friend, "if you suppose that many can not, or even that they can prosper if they do not."

"Extraordinary!" cried I.

"Not at all," said Granville.

"For as long as