Cato I have mentioned, whose name was Crabthorn, and another, a Mr. Pliant (the very opposite to him in nerves, particularly afraid of a fashionable courtier, and only chosen on account of his commercial influence), waited upon Lord Petronius one day by appointment, in order to explain their case to him.

My lord had had the indiscretion to talk of their expected meeting as one of the bores of his office, calling them " apron-men," and "canaille," to whom he was bound to be civil, particularly on the eve of an election. This, as every thing is repeated, soon came to be known to our cynic and his timorous coadjutor-who attended in Downing Street with different feelings-the one blunt by nature, and proud of it, the other timorous, and particularly afraid of a great man's disdain.

On their first arrival, the Cerberus, seeing they were of very extraordinary appearance, as usual growled a little, till the chief messenger appeared, who, as they stated that they came by appointment and delivered their cards, immediately assumed a tone of great civility, and requested them to walk up into the waiting-room, for my lord would see them directly.

The change of manner struck Mr. Pliant; but Crabthorn, an older stager, said it was all according to rule, and meant nothing.

"I can never instil into you," said he, “that political influence, however trivial, and whether

in the shape of a duke or a dustman, immediately levels all impediments and opens all doors. Now don't be such a fool as to part with your own consequence before Lord Petronius; or, because his coat is better cut, and he makes a better bow (particularly when he bows you out, as he soon will do); in short, it is not because he would beat you in a ball or dancing-room, that you are to lose one atom of your weight with him on the business we are upon. Be assured we are of more consequence to him than he to us. Look around you; see these superb sofas, carpets, tables, and lounging-chairs; look out of window and enjoy the fine view; the park, the gardens, the distant palace, the water, the parade, the guards, the obsequious crowds coming and going, all circling round him in his orbit, like humble satellites. You may contrast this if you please with your own comparatively inferior, but not unreal importance; but I should be glad to know who it is that maintains my lord in all this pomp and power? Why, the public voice, or what we choose to call by that name; that is, you and I, and such as you and I. We influence an election; say but one. That is good. Suppose two. Better. But, better still, we here, at this hour, and upon our present business, influence a powerful party in Parliament. Perhaps ten votes will depend upon this conference. Do you think my lord will not be civility itself? Did you not see how his groom

crouched? Hold up your head, man; there's money bid for you."

Mr. Pliant said all this was true enough, and he did not much fear the reception that day with my lord.

"But, were we in a court drawing-room," said he, "would not he laugh at our homeliness? and has he not called us canaille and apron-men, to his brother courtiers ?"

"Perhaps in secret he would laugh," said Crabthorn; "that is, in his sleeve. Let him. We laugh in our's at him, and force him to play the hypocrite while we are honest men.”

terms.

This opinion was afterwards communicated to the Lord Petronius himself, in no very measured For though the application was granted, and, as was intended, with uncommon graciousness, it was a graciousness by no means approved by the sturdy feelings of Mr. Crabthorn, who complained that there was far too much condescension in it for a Briton to submit to. He therefore wrote him the following letter:—

"My Lord-Our interview being over, allow me to express our satisfaction at the promise you have given to support the object of our application, and at the same time our wish that we could thank you more than we do, for the pain it must have cost you to infuse so much condescension into your reception of us. Is not condescension, my lord, a

force put upon the sincerity of some very great man, when, for objects of his own, he feels obliged to shew civility to a very little one? We have heard of the compliment you paid us in the appellation you bestowed upon us of apron-men,' and 'canaille,' to whom you were forced to be civil. You, my lord, are indeed no apron-man,' in the sense in which you used the term, whatever you may be under another and very different signification of it, in which perhaps you glory. In this sense you do, indeed, I believe, understand aprons better than we. You are the head of fashion, and, for what reason we know not, you are kept in the cabinet as a court favourite.

"To this we must all defer, and allow you to disdain, at the same time that you use us. It is fit, however, that you should know this conduct is reciprocal; and, while we laugh at your finery as well as hypocrisy, we use you in our turns in support of our object. All the difference is this small one-that you are a courtier and a hypocrite; we plebeians and honest men."

Stinging as this letter was, and degrading as it might seem to a mind of common mould, I must do Lord Petronius the justice to say he was a great deal above being hurt by it. At least so he carried it in public. He read it, for their amusement, to all his friends, the ladies of the bed-chamber and maids of honour in particular, who all admired the

uncommon test of fashion which his apathy upon exhibited.

it

I own myself I envied him this impervious structure of mind, which, I was told, was the very first quality an English minister of state could possess ; and on the force of this example, and one or two others, afforded by the same noble lord, I set it down in my tablet, that not merely in the case of the exclusives above mentioned, one great cause of success in this world was IMPENETRABLE ASSUR

ANCE.

Of this, in the person of the same Lord Petronius, the following was another instance.

A gay lady, not over celebrated for correctness, and the known mistress of one of Lord Petronius's most intimate friends, thinking it was only fair to have a share in that friendship, admitted my lord into a considerable portion of her good graces. They had frequent meetings, but their rendezvous was at last discovered by the little accident, that the injured party had repaired to the same spot on a business of his own of the same kind.

my

The whole town rang with the scandal, and in simplicity I said to Granville, when he told me the story, that I supposed Lord Petronius had fled to the groves and fields of the country, to avoid the shame of the éclat.

Granville, pitying my naïveté, laughingly observed, that he had certainly fled to groves and