For when we arriv'd here at Bath t'other day,
They came to our lodgings on purpose to play;
And I thought it was right as the music was come,
To foot it a little in TABITHA's room;

For practice makes perfect, as often I've read,

And to heels is of service as well as the head:

But the lodgers were shock'd such a noise we should make,

And the ladies declar'd that we kept them awake;

Lord RINGBONE, who lay in the parlour below,

On account of the gout he had got in his toe,
Began on a sudden to curse and to swear:

I protest, my dear mother, 'twas shocking to hear
The oaths of that reprobate gouty

gouty old

peer:

"All the devils in hell sure at once have concurr'd
"To make such a noise here as never was heard;
"Some blundering blockhead, while I am in bed,
"Treads as hard as a coach-horse just over my head;
"I cannot conceive what a plague he's about:

"Are the fiddlers come hither to make all this rout

“With their d—'d squeaking catgut, that's worse than the

"gout?

66

"If the aldermen bad 'em come hither, I swear,

I wish they were broiling in hell with the May'r; "May flames be my portion if ever I give “Those rascals one farthing as long as I live!" So while they were playing their musical airs, And I was just dancing the hay round the chairs, He roar'd to his Frenchman to kick them down stairs. The Frenchman came forth, with his outlandish lingo, Just the same as a monkey, and made all the men go; I could not make out what he said, not a word, And his lordship declar'd I was very absurd.

Says I, Master RINGBONE, I've nothing to fear,

Tho' you be a Lord, and your man a MoUNSEER,

'For the May'r and the aldermen bad them come here: As absurd as I am,

'I don't care a damn

'For you, nor your valee de sham:

For a Lord, do you see,

'Is no more than a mouse,

'Or a bug, or a louse,

' And I'll do as I please while I stay in the house:

For the B-N-R-D family all can afford

To part with their money as free as a Lord.'

So I thank'd the musicians, and gave them a guinea,
Tho' the ladies and gentlemen call'd me a ninny;
And I'll give them another the next time they play,
For men of good fortune encourage, they say,
All arts and all sciences too in their way;

So the men were so kind as to halloo and bawl,
"God bless you, Sir, thank you, good fortune befall
"Yourself, and the B-N-R-D family all."

Excuse any more-for I very well know, Both my subject and verse-is exceedingly low; But if any great critic finds fault with my letter, He has nothing to do but to send

you a better. And now, my dear mother, &c. &c. &c.

BATH, 1766.

SB-NR-D.