"Nor fail'd he to promote the jeft,
And shar'd the fins which they confeft.
Yet that he might not always rome,
He kept conveniencies at home.
His maid was in the bloom of beauty,
"Well limb'd for ev'ry focial duty;
He meddled with no-houfhold cares,
"To her confign'd his whole affairs ;
She of his Study kept the keys,
For he was ftudious
She had the power of all his locks,
Could rummage ev'ry chest and box,
Her honesty such credit gain'd,
Not e'en the cellar was reftrain'd.
In troth it was a goodly show,
Lin'd with full hogfheads all a-row ;
One veffel, from the rank remov'd,
Far dearer than the reft he lov'd.
Pour la bonne bouche 'twas fet afide,
To all but choicest friends deny'd.
He now and then would fend a quart,
To warm fome wife's retentive heart,
Against confeffion's fullen hour:
Wine has all fecrets in its power.
At common feafts it had been wafte,
Nor was it fit for layman's taste,
If monk or friar were his guest,
They drank it, for they know the best,
Nay, he at length fo fond was grown,
He always drank it when
Who fhall recount his civil labours,
In pious vifits to his neighbours ?
Whene'er weak husbands went aftray,
He gueft their wives were in the way,
"Twas then his charity was shown,
He chose to see them when alone.
Now was he bent on cuckoldom :
He knew friend Dennis was from home;
His wife (a poor neglected beauty,
Defrauded of a husband's duty)
Had often told him at confeffion,
How hard fhe ftruggled 'gainst tranfgreffion.
He now refolves, in heat of blood,,
To try how firm her virtue ftood.
He knew that wine (to love beft aid)
Has oft' made bold the shamefac'd maid,
Taught her to romp, and take more freedoms,
Than nymphs train'd up at Smith's or Needham's.
A mighty bottle ftraight he chofe,
Such as might give two Friars their dose:
Nannette he call'd: the cellar door
She straight unlocks, defcends before,
He follow'd close. But when he fpys
His fav'rite cafk; with lifted eyes
And lifted hands aloud he crys.
Heigh day! my darling wine aftoop!
It muft, alas! have fprung a hoop;
That there's a leak is past all doubt,
(Reply'd the maid) ·
She fets the candle down in hafte,
Tucks her white apron round her waste,
The hogfhead's mouldy fide afcends,
She straddles wide, and downward bends
So low fhe stoops to feek the flaw,
Her coats rose high, her master saw
The leak through which my wine has past.
Then all in hafte the maid defcended,
And in a trice the leak was mended.
He found in Nannette all he wanted,
So Dennis' brows remain'd unplanted.
Ere fince this time all lufty Friars
(Warm'd with predominant defires,
Whene'er the flesh with fpirit quarrels)
Look on the fex as leaky barrels.
Beware of thefe, ye jealous spouses,
From fuch like coopers guard your houses;
For if they find not work at home,
For jobs through all the town they rome.
N Abbot rich (whofe tafte was good
Alike in science and in food)
His Bishop had refolv'd to treat;
The Bishop came, the Bishop eat;
'Twas filence, till their stomachs fail'd;
And now at Hereticks they rail'd;
What Herefy (the Prelate faid)
Is in that Church where Priests may
Do not we take the Church for life?
But those divorce her for a wife,
Like laymen keep her in their houses,
And own the children of their spouses.
Vile practices! the Abbot cry'd,
For pious use we're set aside!
Shall we take wives? marriage at best
Is but carnality profeft.
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