SCENT IV. OR, WHAT YOU WILL. Iknow not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard eu: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly. Via. You mistake, sir: I am sure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free ant clear from any image of offence done to any man. Se To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite bath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish Kan withal. Vo I pray you, sir, what is he? Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked raper, and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he dvanced three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre: hob, nob, is his word; give t or take't. Ve. I will return again into the house, and desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their valor: belike, is a man of that quirk. Se T. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury; therefore get you on, and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the louse, unless you undertake that with me, which with as much safety you might answer him; therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked: for medde you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear imon about you. Via. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, done this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is: it is something of my nerligence, nothing of my purpose. S To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman til! my return. [Exir Sir TOBY. Via, Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal abitrement; but nothing of the errumstance more. lia. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valor. He is, in leed. sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria: Will y walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can. Fo. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir Luight: I care not who knows so much of iny mettle. [Exeunt. Re-enter Sir TOBY with Sir ANDREW. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier. srahbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in, with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on: They say he has been fencer to the Sophy. Ant. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: bian can scarce hold him yonder. the supportance of his vow; he protests, he will no、 hurt you. Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man. Asite Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. Sir To. Come, sir Andrew, there's no remedy. the gentleman will, for his honor s sake, have on bout with you: he cannot by the duello avoid it but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to t. Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath! [Draws. Enter ANTONIO. man Vio. I do assure you, 'tis against my will. Draws Enter two Officers. Fab. O good sir Toby, hold; here come the officers. Sir And. Marry, will 1, sir;-and. for that I promised you, I'll be as good as my word: He will bear you easily, and reins well. 10. This is the man, do thy office. Ant. You do mistake me, sir. 1 Off. No, sir, no jot; I know your favor well, But there's no remedy; I shall answer it. 2 Off. Come, sir, away. Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, Vio. So Ant. Plague on't; an I thought he had been valint, and so cunning in fence. I'd have seen him demned cre I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Caplet Sir To. I'll make the motion: Stand here, make a good show on't; this shall end without the perdit n of souls. Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you. Aside. Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA. I have his horse [To FAB.] to take up the quarrel; Ant. I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; SCENE I.-The Street before Olivia's House. Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown. Clo. Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you you Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee. Cle. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.Nothing that is so, is so. Seb. I pr'ythee, vent thy folly somewhere else; Thou know'st not me. Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.-I pr'ythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady: Shall I vent to her, that thou art coming? Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish greek, depart from me; There's money for thee; if thou tarry longer, I shall give worse payment. Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand :These wise men that give fools money, get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. Enter Sir ANDREW, Sir TOBY and FABIAN. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you. [Striking SEBASTIAN. Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there: Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir ANDREW. Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house. Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of your coats for two-pence. Exit Clown. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. [Holding SEB. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though 1 struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. Seb. Let go thy hand. Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on. Seb. I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou know? If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword. [Draws. Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you. Enter OLIVIA. [Draws. Against thy peace. Go with me to my house, Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the stream! O, say so, and so be! SCENE II-A Room in Olivia's House. Enter MARIA and Clown. Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe thou art sir Topas. the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the [Exit MARIA. whilst. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter. Enter Sir TOBY BELCH and MARIA. Sir To. Jove bless thee, Master Parson. Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is; so I, being master parson, an; master parson; For what is that, but that? and is, but is?" Sir To. To him, sir Topas. Clo. What, hoa ! say,- Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. Mal. In an inner chamber.] Who calls there! Malvolio, the lunatic. Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. Sir Topas, never was a man thus wronged: good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those geň tle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark! Mal. As hell, sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou ar nore puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog. Confederates. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question. Co. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl! Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Co. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approse his opinion. Co. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkDess: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mat. Sir Topas, sir Topas,— Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas! Mar. Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown; he sees thee not. S To. To him in thine own voice, and bring he word how thou findest him: I would, we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delvered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and byte my chamber. [Exeunt Sir Tony and MARIA. Ca. Hey Robin, jolly Robin. Tell me how thy lady does. Mr. Fool, Cle. My lady is unkind, perdy. Mat. Fool, Alas, why is she so? Mal. Fool, I say; [Singing. Co. She loves another- Who calls, ha? Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand. help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and Paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for t. Ca. Master Malvolio! Mai. Ay, good fool. C. Alas, sir, how fell you beside your five wits? Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously acused; I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Ca But as well! then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mil. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all They can to face me out of my wits. Co. Advise you what you say; the minister is bere. Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens reore! endeavor thy self to sleep, and leave thy vain bile habble. Mal. Sr Topas, Co. Maintain no words with him, good fellow. 1, sir! not I, sir. God b' wi' you, good sir Topas-Marry, amen.-I will, sir, I will. Mai Fool, fool, fool, I say,-. Co. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I an shent for speaking to you. Mal. Good tool, help me to some light, and some per; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits, as auy man in Illyria. Well-a-day, that you were, sir! Mal By this hand, I am: Good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to 't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, tül I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree⚫ I pr'ythee be gone. Clo. I am gone, sir, And anon, sir, Pll be with you again, In a trice; Like to the old vice Your need to sustain. Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun This pearl she gave me, I do feel ́t and see`t: lowers, Enter OLIVIA and a Priest. Oli. Blame not this haste of mine; If you mear well, Now go with me and with this holy man, That they may fairly note this act of mine! And [Exeunt. Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of ine; now my toes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by my foes, sir, 1 profit in the knowledge of myself; and by any friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, it your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why then the worse for my friends, and the better for my toes. Duke. Why, this is excellent. Co. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends. Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold. Co. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would you could make it another. Dan. O, you give me ill counsel. Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your hesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-dealer; there's another. Cio. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, sir, may put you in mind: One, two, three. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further. Cio. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come agam. I go, sir; but I would not have you to think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness: but as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon. Exu Clown. Enter ANTONIO and Officers. Vio. Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me. Duke. That face of his I do remember wed; Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd As black as Vulcan, m the smoke of war: A bowbling vessel was he captain of, For shallow draught, and buik, unprizable; With which such scathful grappie did he make With the most noble botto.n of our fleet, That very envy, and the tongue of loss, Cry'd time and honor on hum. What's the matter? iOff. Ors.no, this is that Antonio, That took the Phoenix, and her fraught Candy; from And this is he, that did the Tiger board, Vio. He did me kindness, sir; drew on my side; Duke. Notable pirate! thou sait-water thief! What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies, Whom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear, Hast made thine enemies! Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you give me ; While one would wink; denied me mine own purse, Vio. How can this be? Duke. When came he to this town! Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months before, (No interim, not a minute's vacancy,) Enter OLIVIA and Attendants. Duke. Here comes the countess; now hea en walks on earth. • Freight. Still so cruel ? Oli. Still so constant, lord. Duke. What! to perverseness? you uncivil lady To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars My soul the faithfull st offerings hath breath'd out, That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do! Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shall become him. Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to do it, Like to the Egyptian thief, at point of death, Kill what I love; a savage jealousy, That sometime savors nobly!-But hear me this: Since you to non-regardance cast my faith, And that I partly know the instrument That screws me from my true place in your favor, Live you, the marble-breasted tyrant, still; But this, your minion, whom, I know, you love, And whoin, by heaven, I swear, I tender dearly, Hun will I tear out of that cruel eye, Where he sits crowned in his master's spite.Come boy, with me; my thoughts are ripe in mschief; I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love, Oli. Where goes Cesario? Following After him I love, Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguild! Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself? Is it so long? Oli. Vio. Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence, Strengthened by interchangement of your rings; Q. Who has done this, sir Andrew? Er And. The count's gentleman, one Cesario: we tock him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate. Dake. My gentleman, Cesario! Sir And. Od's lifelings, here he is: -You broke my bead for nothing; and that that I did, I was set on to Git by sir Toby. Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you: Y drew your sword upon me. without cause; But I pake you fair, and hurt you not. Sr And. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have br me; I think, you set nothing by a bloody cox But had it been the brother of my blood, Lust have done no less, with wit, and safety. You throw a strange regard upon me, and by that I do perceive it hath oflended you; Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows We made each other but so late ago. Seb. O, that recórd is lively in my soul! He finished, indeed, his mortal act That day that made my sister thirteen years. Vio. If not ing lets to make us happy both, But this my masculine usurp'd attire," Do not embrace me, till eacli circumstance of place, time, fortune, do cohere, and jump, That I am Viola: which to confirm, I'll bring you to a captain in this town, Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle help I was preserv'd, to serve this noble count: All the occurrence of my fortune since Hath been between this lady and this lord. Seb. So comes it, lady, you have been mistook: [TO OLIVIA. But nature to her bias drew in that. You would have been contracted to a maid; Nor are you therein, by my life, deceived, You are betroth'd both to a maid and man. Duke. Be not amaz'd; right noble is his blood.→ If this be so, as yet the glass seems true, I shall have share in this most happy wreck · Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times, TO VIOLA Thou never shouldst love woman like to me Vio. And all those sayings will I over-swear; And all those swearings keep as true in soul, As doth that orb'd continent, the fire, That severs day from night. Duke. Give me thy hand, And let me see thee in thy woman's weeds. Vio. The captain, that did bring me first on shore, Is now in durance; at Malvolio's suit, Hath my maid's garments: he, upon some action, A gentleman, and follower of my lady's. Oli. He shall enlarge him;-Fetch Malvolio hither: And yet, alas, now I remember nic, A most extracting frenzy of mine own stave's end, as well as a man in his case may do: Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Beelzebub at the he has here writ a letter to you; I should have giv en it to you to-day morning; but as a madman's epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much, when they are delivered. Oli. Open it, and read it. Clo. Look then to be well edified, when the fool delivers the madman:- - By the Lord, madam,-Oli. How now, art thou nad? Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness: an your Dake. One face, one voice, one habit, and two ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must persons; A natural perspective, that is, and is not. Seh. Antonio, O my dear Antonio! Ew have the hours rack'd and tortur'd me, Snce I have lost thee! Aat. Sebastian are you? Fear'st thou that, Antonio? Ant. How have you made division of yourself?A apple, cleft in two, is not more twin Thalese two creatures. Which is Sebastian? G. Most wonderful! M. Do I stand there? I never had a brother: A spirit I am, indeed; F. And died that day when Viola from her birth Dad number'd thirteen years. allow ror." Oli. Pr'ythee, read i thy right wits. Clo. So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits is to read thus: therefore perpend, my princess and give ear. Oli. Read it you, sirrah. TO FABIAN. Fab. Reads. By the lord, madam, you wrong me, and the worl! shall know it: though you have put me into darkners, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of ine as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, and Speak out of my injury. The madly used Oli. Did he write this? Clo. Ay, madam. MALVOLIO |