speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her. Shai. That you must: Will you, upon good dowry, marry her! Sten. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can you Love the maid! Sten. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt; but if you say, marry her, I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. Era. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the ful' is in the 'ort dissolutely: the 'ort is, according to our meaning, resolutely:- his meaning is good. Stal Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Sten. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la. Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. Sten. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth: Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousm Shallow: [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for Aman:-I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: But what though? yet I live le a poor gentleman born. Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come. Sen. I faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Sen. I had rather walk here, I thank you: I brused my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town? Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked cf. Sten. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England: You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. Sen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackerson loose, twenty times: and have taken him by the chain: but. I warrant you, the wonen have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it pass di-but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are ill-favored, rough things. Re-enter PAGE. Fal. Mine host of the Garter. Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak schol. arly, and wisely. Fal. Truly. mine host, I must turn away some of my followers. Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag: trot, trot. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. Host. Thou art an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Host. I have spoke; let him follow: Let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow. Exit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade; an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster; Go, adien. Bar. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive. [Exit BARD. Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield? Num. He was gotten in drink: is not the humor conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humor of it. Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time. Nym. The good humor is, to steal at a minute's rest. Pist. Convey, the wise it call: Steal! foh, a fico for the phrase ! I Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Pist. Why then let kibes ensue. Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch: must shift. Pist. Young ravens must have food. Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about. Pist. Two yards and more. Fal. No quips now. Pistol; indeed I am in the waist two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her beha Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we vior, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John ay for you Sten. I'll eat nothing; I thank you, sir. Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, ir; come, come. Sen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. Paze. Come on, sir. Sen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Sin. Truly. I will not go first; truly, la; I will not do you that wrong. Aane. I pray you, sir. Sin. I'll rather be unmannerly than troubleone; you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. [Exeunt. SCENE II- The same. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE. The name of a bear exhibited at Paris-Garden, South- Falstaff's Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English. Num. The anchor is deep: will that humor pass? Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels. Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her, bou, say I. Num. The humor rises; it is good: humor me the angels. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too; examin'd my parts with most judicious eyliads: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. Fig. such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.- And high and low beguile the rich and poor: Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humors of revenge. Pist. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. By welkin, and her star! Nym. With both the humors, I: I will discuss the humor of this love to Page. How Falstaff, varlet vile, His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Nym. My humor shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous; that is my true humor. Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on. [Exeunt. SCENE IV. A Room in Dr. Caius' House. Enter Mrs. QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY. Quick. What; John Rugby!-I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. [Exit RUGBY. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for 't soon at night, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer: he is something peevish that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quick. And master Slender's your master? Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring knife? Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard; a Cain-colored beard. Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as talls a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener. Quick. How say you?-O, I should remember him; does he not hold up his head, as it were? and strut in his gait? Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune. Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master; Anne is a good girl, and I wish Re-enter RUGBY. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. good young man; go into this closet, [Shuts SIMPLE in the closet. He will not stay long-What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say!-Go, John, go enquire for my master; I doubt he be not well, that the comes not home:- and down, down, adown-a, &c. [Sings. Enter Doctor CAIUS. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitur verd; a box, a green-a box; Do intend vat I speak! a green-a box. he went not in himself; if he had found the young Quick. Ay forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad man, he would have been horn-mad. [Aside. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chauk Je m'en vais à la cour, la grande affaire. Quick. Is it this, sir? Caius. Ouy; mette la au mon pocket; Dépêche quickly.- Vere is dat knave Rugby? Quick. What, John Rugby! John! Rug. Here, sir. Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long:-Od's me! Qu' ay-j' oublié ? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad. Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Villany! larron! [Pulling SIMPLE out.] Rugby, my rapier. Quick. Good master, be content. Caius. Verefore shall I be content-a. Quick. The young man is an honest man. Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. the truth of it. He came of an errand to me from Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatick; hear parson Hugh. Caius. Vell. Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to- Caius. Peace-a your tongue :-Speak-a your tale. Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne l'age for my master, in the way of marriage. Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not. Caius, Sir Hugh send-a you? — Rugby, baillez me some paper:- Tarry you a little-a while. [Writes. Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so melancholy:- But notwithstanding, man, I'll do your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my mas ter,-I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself; Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand. Quick. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early and down late: but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it,) my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,- that's neither here nor there. Caius. You jack 'nape; give-a dis letter to si Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge; I vill cut his troat in de park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make:-you may be gone: it is not good you tarry here:-by gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. Exit SIMPLE. Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat;-do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? by gar, I will kill de jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our Quick. We shall all be shent: Run in here, weapon:- -by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page. Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well: we must give folks leave to pra e: What, the good-jer! Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me;-By par, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door:-- Follow my heels, Rugby. [Exeunt CAIUS and RUGBY. Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that; never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above; but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book she loves you:-Have not your worship a wart above your eye? Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale;- good faith, it is such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread: We had an hour's talk of that wart; —I shall never laugh but in that Feat. Within.] Who's within there, ho? maid's company!-But, indeed, she is given too Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the much to a ficholly and musing: But for youhouse, I pray you. Well go to. Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day: Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf; if thou seest her before me, commend me— Quick. Will I? i'faith, that we will: and I will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have contidence; and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. [Exit. Quick. Farewell to your worship.-- Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not: for 1 know Anne's mind as well as another does:- Out upon't! what have I forgot? [Exit. ACT II. SCENE I.- Before Page's House. Thine own true knight, Or any kind of light, JOHN FALSTAFF. What a Herod of Jewry is this!-O wicked, wick- Mr. Page. And trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary. Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? - honor: What is it? -- dispense with trifles;- what is it! Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted. Mrs. Page. What? -- thou liest! Sir Alice/ Ford! These knights will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry. read;--perceive how I might be knighted,-- I shall Mrs. Ford. We burn daylight: here, read, think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an he would not swear; praised woman's modesty; eye to make difference of men's liking: And yet all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his dis and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to position would have gone to the truth of his words: but they do no more adhere and keep place together, than the hundredth psalm to the tune of Green sleeves. What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tons of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like! Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name of Page and Ford differs! -To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twinbrother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first; for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters writ with blank space for different names, (sure more,) and these are of the second edition: He will print them out of doubt: for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chaste man. Mrs. Ford. Why this is the very same; the very hand, the very words: What doth he think of us! Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not; it makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury. Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it? I'll be sure to keep him above deck: Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be revenged on him; let's appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in his suit: and lead him on with a tine-baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his horses to mine host of the Garter. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villainy against him, that may not sully the chariness of She means, 1 protest. ⚫ Melancholy. 2 Caution our honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy. Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes; and my good man too: he's as far from jealousy, as I am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance. Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman. Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this greasy knight: Come hither. [They retire. Enter FORD, PISTOL, PAGE, and NYM. Ford. Well, I hope it be not so. Pist. Hope is a curtail dog in some affairs: Sir John aflects thy wife. Ford. Why, sir, my wife is not young. Pist. He woos both high and low, both rich and poor, Both young and old, one with another, Ford; Ford. Love my wife? Pist. With liver burning hot: Prevent, or go thou Like sir Acteon he, with Ring-wood at thy heels: O, odious is the name! Ford. What name, sir? Pist. The horn, I say: Farewell. Take heed; have open eye; for thieves do foot by night: Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo-birds do sing. Away, sir corporal Nym.- his intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his di carded men; very rogues, now they be out of service. Ford. Were they his men? Page. Marry, were they. Ford. I like it never the better for that.- Dows he lie at the Garter! Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head. Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loth to turn them together: A man may be too confident: I would have nothing lie on my head: I cannot be thus satisfied. Page. Look where my ranting host of the Garter comes: there is either liquor in his pate, or money in his purse, when he looks so merrily. How now, mine host! Enter Host and SHALLOW. Host How now, bully-rook? thou'rt a gentleman: cavalero-justice, I say. Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow. Good even and twenty, good master Page! Master Page, will you go with us? we have sport in hand. Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tell him, bullyrook. Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, between sir Hugh the Welsh priest, and Caius the French doctor. [Exit PISTOL. Ford. Good mine host of the Garter, a word with Ford. I will be patient; I will find out this. Num. And this is true. [To PAGE.] I like not the humor of lying. He hath wronged me in some humors; I should have borne the humored letter to her; but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon my Page. The humor of it, quoth 'a! here's a fel-guest-cavalier? low frights humor out of his wits. Ford. I wil, seek out Falstaff. Ford. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell Page. I never heard such a drawling, affecting him, my name is Brook; only for a jest. Enter Mistress QUICKLY. Mrs. Ford. Trust me, I thought on her: she'll fit it. Mrs. Page. You are come to see my daughter Anne? Quick. Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does good mistress Anne! Mrs. Page. Go in with us, and see; we have an hour's talk with you. [Exeunt Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Mrs. QUICKLY. Page. How now, master Ford? Ford. You heard what this knave told me; did you not? Page. Yes; and you heard what the other told me? Ford. Do you think there is truth in them? Page. Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the right would offer it: but these that accuse him in 3 A dog that misses his game. A medley. A lying sharper. ⚫ Consider. Ho t. My hand, bully; thou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook: It is a merry knight.-Will you go on, hearts? Shal. Have with you, mine host. Page. I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier. Shal. Tut, sir, I could have told you more! In stoccadoes, and I know not what: 'tis the heart, these times you stand on distance, your passes, master Page; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long sword, I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats. Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? Page. Have with you:- I had rather hear them scold than fight. [Exeunt Host, SHALLOW, and PAGE. SCENE II. A Room in the Garter Inn. Fal. I will not lend thee a penny. Fal. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you and when mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan. I took it upon my honor, thou hadst it not. Pist. Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fifteen pence? Fal. Reason, you rogue, reason: Think'st thou, I'll endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about me. I am no gibbet for you:-go. A short knife and a throng:-- to your manor of Pickt-hatch,' go. You'll not bear a letter for me, your gue! you stand upon your honor!--- Why, tbou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do, to keep the terms of my honor precise. I, I, I ayself sometimes, leaving the fear of heaven on the left hand, and hiding mine honor in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cata-mountain looks, your red-lattices phrases, and your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your bonor! You will not do it, you? Pist. I do relent: what wouldst thou more of man? Enter ROBIN. he's a very jealousy man; she leads a very frampolds life with him, good heart. Fal. Ten and eleven: Woman, commend me to her; I will not fail her. Quick. Why, you say well: But I have another messenger to your worship: Mistress Page hath hə hearty commendations to you too;- and let me tel! you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss your morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the other; and she bade me tell your worship, that her husband is seldom from home; but, she hopes, there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man; surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth. Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms. Quick. Blessing on your heart for't! Fal. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how they love me? Quick. That were a jest, indeed!—they have not so little grace. I hope:- that were a trick, in Rob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. deed! But mistress Page would desire you to send Fal. Let her approach. Enter Mrs. QUICKLY. Quick. Give your worship good-morrow. Ful. Good-morrow, good wife. Quick Not so, an't please your worship. Quick. I'll be sworn; as my mother was, the first hour I was born. Fal. I do believe the swearer; What with me? Quick. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two? Fal. Two thousand, fair woman; and I'll vouchsafe thee the hearing. Quick. There is one mistress Ford, sir;-I pray, come a little nearer this ways;-I myself dwell with master doctor Caius. Ful. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say, Quick. Your worship says very true; I pray your worship, come a little nearer this ways. Fal. I warrant thee, nobody hears;people, mine own people. - mine own Quick. Are they so! Heaven bless them, and make them his servants! Fat. Well: Mistress Ford: - what of her? Quick. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, lord! your worship's a wanton: Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray! Fal Mistress Ford;-come, mistress Ford,Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of it; you have brought her into such a canaries, as tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their conches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter aner letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly (all musk and so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant terins; and in such wine and sugar of the best and the fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her.-1 had myself twenty angels given me this morning; but fy all angels, (in any such sort, as they say,) but in the way of honesty:-and, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup With the proudest of them all; and yet there has Seen earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; but I warrant you, all is one with her. Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good e-Mercury. Quirk. Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times; and the gives you to notify, that her husband will be absence from his house between ten and eleven. Fal. Ten and eleven? Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come Pickt-hatch was in Clerkenwell. • Protect. her your little page, of all loves; her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page: and, truly, master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and, truly, she deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page; no remedy. Ful. Why, I will. Quick. Nay, but do so, then; and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and, in any case, have a nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and the boy never need to understand any thing; for 'tis not good that children should know any wickedness. old folks, you know, have discretion. as they say, and know the world. Fal. Fare thee well: coinmend me to them both: there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor.- Boy, go along with this woman.-This news distracts me. [Exeunt QUICKLY and ROBIN. Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers: Clap on more sails; pursue, up with your fights; Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! [Exit PISTOL. Fal. Say'st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money, be now a gainer! Good body, I thank thee: Let them say, 'tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter. Enter BARDOLPH. Bar. Sir John, there's one master Brook below would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath sent your worship a morning' draught of sack. Fal. Brook, is his name? Such Ful. Call him in. [Exit BARDOLPH. Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow such liquor. Ah! ha! mistress Ford and mistress Page, have I encompassed you! go to; via !ɔ Re-enter BARDOLPH with FORD disguised. Ford. Bless you, sir. Fal. And you, sir: Would you speak with me? Ford. I made bold, to press with so little preparation upon you. Fal. You're welcome; What's your will? Give us leave, drawer. [Exit BARDOLPH Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook. Fal. Good master Brook, I desire more acquaint ance of you. Ford. Good sir John, I sue for yours: not te charge you; for I must let you understand. I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are. the which hath something embolden'd me to this unseason'd intrusion: for they say, if money go be fore, all ways do lie open. |