As the summer season is fast advancing, and the Windsor terraces are so pleasant and crowded with gentility, perhaps I may feel inclined, during the course of the fine weather, to make an excursion, and visit that resort of the fashionable world. But I have been lately informed by my neighbour Mr. Lutestring, that the Etonians are so much accustomed to ridicule any sober, welldisposed visitors, who happen, from their situation in life, not to possess the most splendid

equipage, or the most numerous retinue of domestics, that I really feel almost afraid of putting my plans into execution, lest I should be liable to receive any insult during my passage through your college. I will detail to you the account of my friend's adventure, and leave it to your judgment to decide whether my fears have not a sufficient foundation.

Mr. Lutestring, his wife and daughter Polly, were, perhaps rather narrowly, but certainly very happily arranged in his new whiskey, while Mr. Zachary Lutestring, my friend's eldest son, followed them on horseback. They were indeed rather unfortunate in the very outset, as the vehicle broke down before they had proceeded many yards, and Zachary by some unlucky chance was deposited in a puddle before they had reached Brentford, But this was only an earnest of what they were to undergo. As they were passing under the windows of a boardinghouse, just at the entrance of your College, one of the young Etonians, observing Mr. Lutestring had exchanged his black hat for a white one, with malicious inclination filled a squirt with ink, and aiming it but too successfully, completely bespattered my friend's hat, and spoiled his wife's new farthingale. Mr. Lutestring was carried by

his feelings rather beyond the bounds of moderation and was opening his mouth (for he's quite a Cicero) to execrate the author of his misfortunes, who immediately, nothing abashed, took aim at him again with a rotten egg, and literally stopped up his distended jaws, just as he was bringing out an oath!!!

My friend, thinking that any lecture upon incivility which he could bestow, would most likely be thrown away upon such dispositions, wiped his hat and his face, (poor man, he was almost choked, what with rage and the egg together) and drove on in bad enough humour as you may suppose. But fate had not done its worst.

When the party had advanced further into the College, the strange appearance, which their various insults or misfortunes had given them, excited universal wonder and admiration, so as to cause a general assemblage of all the young gentlemen. One of those ill-disposed boys, with some of whom every large community must be infested, cunningly suspecting from which side of London these visitors had arrived, immediately set the example by roaring out, "Rou the cit and his pink stockings! Look at his cane! you'll find it marked with the ell

yard, and inch." This reflection upon his pursuits and profession (for it must be confessed my friend is an haberdasher) quite overcame the moderation he had resolved to support, and he did expostulate pretty loudly, demanding what they meant by their insolence.

His harangue, naturally enough I must allow, caused a general exclamation of ridicule from the whole body, which excited the wrath of Mr. Zachary himself to such a degree, that he threatened them like any hero, and shook his whip at them like a perfect Hercules. The effect of the preceding tumble upon his smart dress was fuch, that the yellow of his corderoys, which had before perfectly well imitated the most expensive buck skins, was nearly lost under a coating of dirt; and the glass, which he wears merely for the sake of gentility, had received an unfortunate fracture. His exterior therefore was not prepossessing, and his behaviour called forth another and still louder shout from the youthful spectators.

Now, as ill-luck would have it, a Scavenger had stopped to examine into the subject of these clamours, and his cart, full of liquid mud, was drawn up near the scene of action. Zachary's

horse, affrighted with the noises, reared and kicked so violently, notwithstanding the wicked beast had been restricted to a feed of corn a day during the preceding fortnight, that he at length jolted his master into the air, who, falling in the middle of the Scavenger's cart, was completely overwhelmed in the noisome contents. But now pity for Zachary's misfortunes moved the boys, who had been instrumental towards them, to exert themselves in his behalf, and every hand was with one accord employed to relieve the poor fellow, who was after some trouble lifted unhurt from the cart, but more resembling a lump of mud than a human creature. He sputtered and tried to open his eyes, but in vain, and though every assistance was offered, it was sometime before they could restore him to any tolerable degree of comfort, and in the end Mr. Lutestring and family were obliged slowly to return towards London, without even appearing in Windsor, having been totally prevented from perfecting their intended scheme of amusement by the adventures they had endured.

Upon this account from my friend, I thought it best to entreat your good-will, Mr. Solomon, towards preventing my being annoyed in the same manner, and if you should happen to see me and mine, close packed, and smiling in a chaise