present. I dropped him a courtesy, and gave him to understand that was his audience of leave.

I am reckoned pretty, and have had very many advances besides these; but have been very averse to hear any of them, from my observation on those above-mentioned, until I hoped some good from the

or keeping it offending against Him whom they cannot deceive. Your assistance and labours of this sort would be of great benefit, and your speedy thoughts on this subject would be very seasonable to, sir, your most humble servant,

CHASTITY LOVEWORTH.'

Malo Venusinam, quam te, Cornelia, mater
Gracchorum, si cum magnis virtutibus affers
Grande supercilium, et numeras in dote triumphos.
Tolle tuum precor Annibalem, victumque Syphacem
In castris; et cum tota Carthagine migra.

character of my present admirer, a clergy- No. 299.] Tuesday, February 12, 1711-12. man. But I find even among them there are indirect practices in relation to love, and our treaty is at present a little in suspense, until some circumstances are cleared. There is a charge against him among the women, and the case is this: It is alleged, that a certain endowed female would have appropriated herself to, and consolidated herself with a church which my divine now enjoys (or, which is the same thing, did prostitute herself to her friend's doing this for her:) that my ecclesiastic, to obtain the one, did engage himself to take off the other that lay on hand; but that on his success in the spiritual, he again re

nounced the carnal.

Juv. Sat. vi. 166.
Some country girl, scarce to a courtesy bred,
Would I much rather than Cornelia wed;
If supercilious, haughty, proud, and vain,
She brought her father's triumphs in her train.
Away with all your Carthaginian state;
Let vanquish'd Hannibal without doors wait,
Too burly and too big to pass my narrow gate.
Dryden.

'MR. SPECTATOR,

IT is observed, that a man improves more by reading the story of a person eminent for prudence and virtue, than by the finest rules and precepts of morality. In 'I put this closely to him, and taxed him the same manner a representation of those with disingenuity. He to clear himself calamities and misfortunes which a weak made the subsequent defence, and that in man suffers from wrong measures, and illthe most solemn manner possible:-that he concerted schemes of life, is apt to make a was applied to, and instigated to accept of deeper impression upon our minds, than a benefice:-that a conditional offer there- the wisest maxims and instructions that of was indeed made him at first, but with can be given us, for avoiding the like follies disdain by him rejected:-that when no- and indiscretions in our own private conthing (as they easily perceived) of this duct. It is for this reason that I lay before nature could bring him to their purpose, my reader the following letter, and leave it assurance of his being entirely unengaged with him to make his own use of it, withbeforehand, and safe from all their after-out adding any reflections of my own upon expectations, (the only stratagem left to the subject-matter. draw him in,) was given him:-that pursuant to this the donation itself was, without Having carefully delay, before several reputable witnesses, perused a letter sent you by Josiah Fribble, tendered to him gratis, with the open profes- Esq. with your subsequent discourse upon sion of not the least reserve, or most minute pin-money, I do presume to trouble you with condition; but that yet, immediately after an account of my own case, which I look induction, his insidious introducer (or her upon to be no less deplorable than that of crafty procurer, which you will) indus- 'squire Fribble. I am a person of no extriously spread the report which had reach-traction, having begun the world with a ed my ears, not only in the neighbourhood small parcel of rusty iron, and was for some of that said church, but in London, in the years commonly known by the name of Jack university, in mine and his own country, Anvil. I have naturally a very happy and wherever else it might probably ob-genius for getting money, insomuch that by viate his application to any other woman, the age of five and twenty, I had scraped and so confine him to this alone: and in a together four thousand two hundred pounds, word, that as he never did make any pre-five shillings, and a few odd pence. I then vious offer of his service, or the least step to her affection; so on his discovery of these designs thus laid to trick him, he could not but afterwards, in justice to himself, vindicate both his innocence and freedom, by keeping his proper distance.

This is his apology, and I think I shall be satisfied with it. But I cannot conclude my tedious epistle without recommending to you not only to resume your former chastisement, but to add to your criminals the simoniacal ladies, who seduce the sacred order into the difficulty of either breaking a mercenary troth made to them, whom they ought not to deceive, or by breaking

launched out into considerable business, and became a bold trader both by sea and land, which in a few years raised me a very great fortune. For these my good services I was knighted in the thirty-fifth year of my age, and lived with great dignity among my city neighbours by the name of Sir John Anvil. Being in my temper very ambitious, I was now bent upon making a family, and ac

*It is said by some, that the author of this letter alluded to Gore, of Tring, and Lady Mary Compton: but others, with more probability, that it referred to Sir Ambrose Crowley and his lady. See Tat. ed. 1786, ci. 8vo. The latter changed his name from Crowley to Crawley, the folly of which seems to be ridiculed above, by the change of Anvil into Envil

John Anvil, but as her husband; and added, with a frown, that I did not seem to know who she was. I was surprised to be treated thus, after such familiarities as had passed between us. But she has since given me to know, that whatever freedoms she may sometimes indulge me in, she expects in general to be treated with the respect that is due to her birth and quality. Our chil

infancy with so many accounts of their mother's family, that they know the stories of all the great men and women it has produced. Their mother tells them, that such an one commanded in such a sea-engagement, that their great-grandfather had a horse shot under him at Edge-hill, that their uncle was at the siege of Buda, and that her mother danced in a ball at court with the Duke of Monmouth; with abundance of fiddle-faddle of the same nature. I was the other day a little out of countenance at a question of my little daughter Harriot, who asked me, with a great deal of innocence, why I never told them of the generals and admirals that had been in my family? As for my eldest son, Oddly, he has been so spirited up by his mother, that if he does not mend his manners I shall go near to disinherit him. He drew his sword upon me before he was nine years old, and told me that he expected to be used like a gentleman: upon my offering to correct him for his insolence, my Lady Mary stepped in between us, and told me that I ought to consider there was some difference between his mother and mine. She is perpetually finding out the features of her own relations in every one of my children, though by the way, I have a little chubfaced boy as like me as he can stare, if I durst say so: but what most angers me, when she sees me playing with any of them upon my knee, she has begged me more than once to converse with the children as little as possible, that they may not learn any of my awkward tricks.

cordingly resolved that my descendants | should have a dash of good blood in their veins. In order to this, I made love to the Lady Mary Oddly, an indigent young woman of quality. To cut short the marriage-treaty, I threw her a carte blanche, as our newspapers call it, desiring her to write upon it her own terms. She was very concise in her demands, insisting only that the disposal of my fortune, and the regula-dren have been trained up from their tion of my family, should be entirely in her hands. Her father and brothers appeared exceedingly averse to this match, and would not see me for some time; but at present are so well reconciled, that they dine with me almost every day, and have borrowed considerable sums of me; which my Lady Mary very often twits me with, when she would show me how kind her relations are to me. She had no portion, as I told you before; but what she wanted in fortune she makes up in spirit. She at first changed my name to Sir John Envil, and at present writes herself Mary Enville. I have had some children by her, whom she has christened with the surnames of her family, in order, as she tells me, to wear out the homeliness of their parentage by the father's side. Our eldest son is the Honourable Oddly Enville, Esq. and our eldest daughter Harriot Enville. Upon her first coming into my family, she turned off a parcel of very careful servants, who had been long with me, and introduced in their stead a couple of black-a-moors, and three or four very genteel fellows in laced liveries, besides her French woman, who is perpetually making a noise in the house, in a language which nobody understands, except my Lady Mary. She next set herself to reform every room of my house, having glazed all my chimney-pieces with looking-glasses, and planted every corner with such heaps of china, that I am obliged to move about my own house with the greatest caution and circumspection, for fear of hurting some of our brittle furniture. She makes an illumination once a week with wax candles in one of the largest rooms, in order, as she phrases it, to see company: at which time she always desires me to be abroad, or to confine myself to the cockloft, that I may not disgrace her among her visitants of quality. Her footmen, as I told you before, are such beaus that I do not much care for asking them questions; when I do, they answer me with a saucy frown, and say that every thing which I find fault with, was done by my Lady Mary's order. She tells me, that she in- "To complete my sufferings, she has tends they shall wear swords with their teased me for this quarter of a year last next liveries, having lately observed the past to remove into one of the squares at footmen of two or three persons of quality the other end of the town, promising, for hanging behind the coach with swords by my encouragement, that I shall have as their sides. As soon as the first honeymoon good a cock-loft as any gentleman in the was over, I represented to her the unrea-square; to which the Honourable Oddly sonableness of those daily innovations which Enville, Esq. always adds, like a jack-ashe made in my family; but she told me, I napes as he is, that he hopes it will be as was no longer to consider myself as Sir near the court as possible.

You must further know, since I am opening my heart to you, that she thinks herself my superior in sense, as much as she is in quality, and therefore treats me like a plain well-meaning man, who does not know the world. She dictates to me in my own business, sets me right in points of trade, and if I disagree with her about any of my ships at sea, wonders that I will dispute with her, when I know very well that her great-grandfather was a flagofficer.

In short, Mr. Spectator, I am so much | pleasantry; and hope you will show these out of my natural element, that, to recover people that at least they are not witty: in my old way of life, I would be content to which you will save from many a blush a begin the world again, and be plain Jack daily sufferer, who is very much your most Anvil; but, alas! I am in for life, and am humble servant, bound to subscribe myself, with great sorrow of heart, your humble servant, L.

JOHN ENVILLE, KNT.'

'SUSANNA LOVEWORTH.'

'MR. SPECTATOR,-In yours of Wednesday the 30th past, you and your correspondents are very severe on a sort of men,

No. 300.] Wednesday, Feb. 13, 1711-12. whom you call male coquettes; but without

at.

-Diversum vitio vitium prope majus.
Hor. Ep. xviii. Lib. 1. 5.

Another failing of the mind,
Greater than this, of a quite different kind.-Pooley.

any other reason, in my apprehension, than that of paying a shallow compliment to the fair sex, by accusing some men of imaginary faults, that the women may not seem 'MR. SPECTATOR,-When you talk of to be the more faulty sex; though at the the subject of love, and the relations arising same time you suppose there are some so from it, methinks you should take care to weak as to be imposed upon by fine things leave no fault unobserved which concerns and false addresses. I cannot persuade the state of marriage. The great vexation myself that your design is to debar the sexes that I have observed in it is, that the wed-the benefit of each other's conversation ded couple seem to want opportunities of within the rules of honour; nor will you, being often enough alone together, and are I dare say, recommend to them, or enforced to quarrel and be fond before com- courage the common tea-table talk, much pany. Mr. Hotspur and his lady, in a less that of politics and matters of state: room full of their friends, are ever saying and if these are forbidden subjects of dissomething so smart to each other, and course, then, as long as there are any that but just within rules, that the whole women in the world who take a pleasure company stand in the utmost anxiety and in hearing themselves praised, and can suspense, for fear of their falling into ex-bear the sight of a man prostrate at their tremities which they could not be present feet, so long I shall make no wonder, that On the other side, Tom Faddle and there are those of the other sex who will his pretty spouse, wherever they come, pay them those impertinent humiliations. are billing at such a rate, as they think We should have few people such fools as must do our hearts good to behold them. to practise flattery, if all were so wise as Cannot you possibly propose a mean be- to despise it. I do not deny but you would tween being wasps and doves in public? do a meritorious act, if you could prevent I should think, if you advised to hate or all impositions on the simplicity of young love sincerely, it would be better: for if they women; but I must confess, I do not apprewould be so discreet as to hate from the hend you have laid the fault on the proper very bottom of their hearts, their aversion persons; and if I trouble you with my would be too strong for little gibes every thoughts upon it, I promise myself your moment; and if they loved with that calm pardon. Such of the sex as are raw and and noble valour which dwells in the heart, innocent, and most exposed to these atwith a warmth like that of life-blood, they tacks, have, or their parents are much to would not be so impatient of their pas-blame if they have not, one to advise and sions as to fall into observable fondness. guard them, and are obliged themselves This method, in each case, would save ap-to take care of them; but if these, who pearances: but as those who offend on the ought to hinder men from all opportunities fond side are by much the fewer, I would of this sort of conversation, instead of that have you begin with them, and go on to encourage and promote it, the suspicion is take notice of a most impertinent licence very just that there are some private reasons married women take, not only to be very for it; and I will leave it to you to determine loving to their spouses in public, but also on which side a part is then acted. Some make nauseous allusions to private fami- women there are who are arrived at years of liarities and the like. Lucina is a lady of discretion, I mean are got out of the hands the greatest discretion, you must know, in of their parents and governors, and are set the world; and withal very much a physi-up for themselves, who are yet liable to cian. Upon the strength of those two quali- these attempts; but if these are prevailed ties there is nothing she will not speak of upon, you must excuse me if I lay the fault Defore us virgins; and she every day talks upon them, that their wisdom is not grown with a very grave air in such a manner as is with their years. My client, Mr. Strephon, very improper so much as to be hinted whom you summoned to declare himself, at, but to obviate the greatest extremity.gives you thanks, however, for your warnThose whom they call good bodies, notable ing, and begs the favour only to enlarge his people, hearty neighbours, and the purest time for a week, or to the last day of the goodest company in the world, are the term, and then he will appear gratis, and great offenders in this kind. Here I think pray no day over. Yours, I have laid before you an open field for

PHILANTHROPOS,'

'MR. SPECTATOR,-I was last night to visit a lady whom I much esteem, and always took for my friend; but met with so very different a reception from what I expected, that I cannot help applying myself to you on this occasion. In the room of that civility and familiarity I used to be treated with by her, an affected strangeness in her looks, and coldness in her behaviour, plainly told me I was not the welcome guest which the regard and tenderness she has often expressed for me gave me reason to flatter myself to think I was. Sir, this is certainly a great fault, and I assure you a very common one; therefore I hope you will think it a fit subject for some part of a Spectator. Be pleased to acquaint us how we must behave ourselves towards this valetudinary friendship, subject to so many heats and colds; and you will oblige, sir, your humble servant, MIRANDA.'

'SIR,-I cannot forbear acknowledging the delight your late Spectators on Saturdays have given me; for they are written in the honest spirit of criticism, and called to my mind the following four lines I had read long since in a prologue to a play called Julius Cæsar, which has deserved

a better fate. The verses are addressed
to the little critics:

Show your small talent, and let that suffice ye;
But grow not vain upon it, I advise ye.
For every fop can find out faults in plays;
You'll ne'er arrive at knowing when to praise.

No. 301.] Thursday, Feb. 14, 1711-12.

Possint ut juvenes visere fervidi
Multo non sine risu,
Dilapsam in cineres facem.

Hor. Od. xiii. Lib. 4. 26.

That all may laugh to see that glaring light,
Which lately shone so fierce and bright,
End in a stink at last, and vanish into night.

Anon.

in a word, which fills the town with elderly fops and superannuated coquettes.

Canidia, a lady of this latter species, passed by me yesterday in a coach. Canidia was a haughty beauty of the last age, and was followed by crowds of adorers, whose passions only pleased her, as they gave her opportunities of playing the tyrant. She then contracted that awful cast of the eye and forbidding frown, which she has not yet laid aside, and has still all the insolence of beauty without its charms. If she now attracts the eyes of any beholders, it is only by being remarkably ridiculous; even her own sex laugh at her affectation; and the men, who always enjoy an ill-natured pleasure in seeing an imperious beauty humbled and neglected, regard her with the same satisfaction that a free nation sees a tyrant in disgrace.

Will Honeycomb, who is a great admirer of the gallantries in King Charles the Seletter written by a wit of that age to his cond's reign, lately communicated to me a mistress, who it seems was a lady of Canidia's humour; and though I do not always approve of my friend Will's taste, I liked this letter so well, that I took a copy of it, with which I shall here present my reader:

To Chloe.

'MADAM,-Since my waking thoughts have never been able to influence you in my favour, I am resolved to try whether my dreams can make any impression on you. To this end I shall give you an account of a very odd one which my fancy presented to me last night, within a few hours after I left you.

'Methought I was unaccountably conveyed into the most delicious place mine eyes ever beheld: it was a large valley divided by a river of the purest water I had ever seen. The ground on each side of it rose by an easy ascent, and was covered with flowers of an infinite variety, which, as they were reflected in the water, doubled the beauties of the place, or rather formed WE are generally so much pleased with an imaginary scene more beautiful than any little accomplishments, either of body the real. On each side of the river was a or mind, which have once made us re-range of lofty trees, whose boughs were markable in the world, that we endeavour loaded with almost as many birds as leaves. to persuade ourselves it is not in the power Every tree was full of harmony. of time to rob us of them. We are eternally pursuing the same methods which first procured us the applauses of mankind. It is from this notion that an author writes on, though he is come to dotage; without ever considering that his memory is impaired, and that he hath lost that life, and those spirits, which formerly raised his fancy, and fired his imagination. The same folly hinders a man from submitting his behaviour to his age, and makes Clodius, who was a celebrated dancer at five-andtwenty, still love to hobble in a minuet, though he is past threescore. It is this, A tragedy, by William Alexander, Earl of Stirling,

printed in 1629.

'I had not gone far in this pleasant valley, when I perceived that it was terminated by a most magnificent temple. The structure was ancient and regular. On the top of it was figured the god Saturn, in the same shape and dress that the poets usually re present Time.

As I was advancing to satisfy my curiosity by a nearer view, I was stopped by an object far more beautiful than any I had before discovered in the whole place. I fancy, madam, you will easily guess that this could hardly be any thing but yourself; in reality it was so; you lay extended on the flowers by the side of the river, so that your hands, which were thrown in a negligent

posture, almost touched the water. Your eyes were closed; but if your sleep deprived me of the satisfaction of seeing them, it left me at leisure to contemplate several other charms which disappear when your eyes are open. I could not but admire the tranquillity you slept in, especially when I con- No. 302.] Friday, February 15, 1711-12. sidered the uneasiness you produce in so many others.