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De pootiest Fraeulein in de House,
She vayed 'pout dwo hoondred pound, Und efery dime she gife a shoomp
She make de vindows sound.
Hans Breitmann gife a barty,
I dells you it cost him dear.
Of foost-rate Lager Beer.
De Deutschers gifes a cheer. I dinks dat so vine a barty,
Nefer coom to a het dis year. Hans Breitmann gife a barty,
Dere all vas Souse und Brouse,
Did make demselfs to house;
De Bratwurst and Braten fine,
Mit four parrels of Neckarwein.
We all cot troonk ash bigs.
Und emptied it oop mit a schwigs.
Und she shlog me on de kop, Und de gompany fited mit daple-lecks
Dill de coonshtable made oos shtop. Hans Breitmann gife a barty
Where ish dat barty now! Where ish de lofely golden cloud
Dat float on de moundain's prow? Where ish de himmelstrahlende Stern
De shtar of the shpirit's light? All goned afay mit de Lager Beer
Afay in de ewigkeit!
From “ Hood's Magazine.”
It was at the Opera—she sat in a box near me; and though the paleness of her cheek gave her an almost unearthly appearance, I saw that she was lovely as
All eyes were upon her-all but mine: for one glance had called up so many painful recollections, that I dared not risk a second. The past with its exquisite delights rose vividly before me, as I gazed on her whose happiness I had wrecked. I felt myself a guilty wretch.
“ Poor Emily!" I murmured, as tears of bitter remorse filled my eyes. I was interrupted by Hwho, touching my elbow, whispered,
“Look in that box on the right. Is it not extraordinary to see a young girl with such white hair ?”
I turned impatiently from him: but so many remarks of the same kind were whispered by those near me, that the words seemed to hiss in my ears; the stage appeared filled with fiery serpents, chasing and entwining each other, and the hilarity of the audience at the humour of Lablache sounded like the laughter of mocking fiends.
At length the first act was at an end. The curtain dropped.
"I'll bet a dozen of champagne," said one of my neighbours, “ that she has been frightened. Fear has been known to turn the hair grey in a single night.”
“ You are mistaken," said another. «No sudden shock could have changed it so completely.. I am a surgeon, and know something about these things: it is
more likely the result of some secret sorrow, mining grief."
"Perhaps she is a widow," said a third ; "and has fretted for the loss of her husband ? So mourned the dame of Ephesus her love.'"
If the look with which I regarded the last speaker could have killed him, there would have been one puppy the less in the world.
" Your conjecture does not seem to be a very probable one,” said the surgeon ;
« she looks too young for a widow. I should say she was not more than seventeen or eighteen.”
“Just eighteen!" exclaimed I, involuntarily.
“Do you know the young lady, sir ?” he asked, turning to me. I was silent, and he continued. "If the study of physiognomy is to be depended on, an unrequited passion is the cause of the calamity.”
At these words I could no longer restrain my feelings. "Be silent, for Heaven's sake !" I exclaimed, grasping his hand convulsively. “I am the greatest villain on the face of the earth!"
He looked at me in astonishment; but just then the curtain again rose, and the clang of music drowned all other sounds. While everybody's attention was drawn to the performance, I took courage to look once more at Emily. How beautiful she was, as she sat with her melancholy gaze fixed on the stage. So young, and already grief had decked her brow with the silvery badge of age! Could it be? Was it Emily, once the adored of my soul, the queen of my youthful fancy ? Was it she whom I saw ? Her golden hair changed to white by grief for my inconstancy !
The play was over-mechanically I rose to go. As I reached the door, one of my friends hurried to meet me.
“ How long have you been returned ?" said he. “Did you know that Emily was in town? I saw her just
Good heavens! how it has changed her!” “ It has, indeed!” said I, with a groan, “ dreadfully, awfully changed her!”
“Of course, you know the cause ?"
“Why, don't you know that fancying her hair had a red tinge, she was persuaded to use the new Victoria dye, which has turned it white !"
A GIANT'S DISCOMFORTS.
From “ Fun."
He was a giant great-
His height was furlongs eight.
Will guess and more besides;
To measure out his strides.
From growing pangs to keep-
Cidental pigs and sheep.
An oak tree strong and sappy ;
And still he wasn't happy.
Whom none to cross would dare-
Would sure be free from care !
But hapless RHUSKIBUSKHI
Was nothing of the kind,
His eyes with tears were blind.
• Plain Cook ;" for none were Prepared to store his maw; So since his meals undone were,
He had to eat them raw.
And as both he and dinner
Required a better dressing, The end of him, poor sinner,
You'll speedily be guessing.
For insufficient clothing
Is bad beyond all questionRaw food produces loathing,
Which leads to indigestion.
Now he had rheumatism
And indigestion. You Don't think they're pleasant-is 'ein?
The giant thought so too !