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as the abbey of Salfine, where a cannon ball took off his head: his body fell under bis enemy whom he was carrying off. Unnion immediately forgot his wound, rose up, tearing his hair, and then threw himself upon the bleeding carcase, crying, Ah, Valentine ! was it for me who have so barbaroưsly used thee, that thou hast died? I will not live after thee. He was not by any means to be forced from the body, but was removed with it bleeding in his arms, and attended with tears by all their comrades who knew their enmity. When he was brought to a tent, his wounds were dressed by force ; but the next day, still calling upon Valentine, and lamenting his cruelties to him, he died in the pangs of remorse and despair.
POLITE CONVERSATION. No: 31. *This evening I was with a couple of young ladies : one of them has the character of the prettiest company, yet really I thought her but silly; the other, who talked a great deal less, I observed to have understand ing. The lady who is reckoned such a companion among her acquaintance, has only, with a very brisk air, a knack of saying the commonest things: the other, with a sly, serious one, says home things enough. The first, mistress Giddy, is very quick; but the second, Mrs. Slim, fell into Giddy's own style, and was as good company as she. Giddy happens to drop her glove ; Slim reaches it to her. Madam, says Giddy, I hope you will have a better office. Upon which Slim immediately repartees, and sits in her lap, and cries, Are you not-sorry for my heaviness? The sly wench
pleased me, to see how she hit her height of understanding so well. We sat down to supper. Says Giddy mighty prettily, Two hands in a dish, and one in a purse : says Slim, ay, madam, the more the merrier ; the fewer the better cheer. I quickly took the hint; and was as witty and talkative as they : says I,
He that will not when he may,
When he will, he shall have nay ; and so helped myself. Giddy turns about; What, have you found your tongue ? Yes, says I, it is manners to speak when I am spoken to ; but your greatest talkers are the least doers, and the still sow eats up all the broth. Ha! ha! says Giddy, one would think he had nothing in him, and do you hear how he talks, when he pleases! I grew immediately roguish and pleasant to a degree, in the same strain. Slim, who knew how good company we had been, cries, You will certainly print this bright conversation*
İNVENTORY OF A PLÁÝHOUSE +. No.42.
This is to give notice, that a magnificent palace, with great variety of gardens, statues, and water-works, may be bought cheap in Drury-lane; where there are likewise several castles to be disposed of, very delight
* This sketeh, apparently so slight, is inserted because in it we see the original idea which Swift afterwards expanded into the volume which bears the title of Polite Conversation.
+ This was written upon an order from the lord cham+ berlain for shutting up Drury-lane.
fully fully situated; as also groves, woods, forests, fountains, and country-seats, with very pleasant prospects on all sides of them; being the moveables of Christopher Rich, esquire, who is breaking up housekeeping, and has many curious pieces of furniture to dispose of, which may be seen between the hours of six and ten in the evening.
Spirits of right Nantz brandy, for lambent flames and apparitions.
Three bottles and an half of lightning.
A sea, consisting of a dozen large waves; the tenth bigger than ordinary, and a little damaged.
A dozen and half of clouds, trimmed with black, and well-conditioned.
A rainbow, a little faded.
A set of clouds after the French mode, streaked with lightning and furbelowed.
A new moon, something decayed.
A pint of the finest Spanish wash, being all that is left of two hogsheads sent over last winter.
A coach very finely gilt, and little used, with a pair of dragons, to be sold cheap.
A setting sun, a pennyworth.
An imperial mantle, made for Cyrus the great, and worn by Julius Cæsar, Bajazet, king Henry the eighth, und signior Valentini.
A basket-hilted sword, very convenient to carry milk in. Roxana's night-gown.
Another of a bigger sort, by Mr. Dennis's directions, little usedt.
Six elbow chairs, very expert in country-dances, with six flower-pots for their partners.
The whiskers of a Turkish bassa.
The complexion of a murderer in a band-box; consisting of a large piece of burnt cork, and a coal-black peruke.
A suit of clothes for a ghost, viz. a bloody shirt, a doublet curiously pinked, and a coat with three great eye-let-eyes upon the breast.
A bale of red Spanish wool.
Modern plots, commonly known by the name of trapdoors, ladders of ropes, vizard-masques, and tables with broad carpets over them.
Three oak-cudgels, with one of crab-tree; all bought for the use of Mr. Pinkethman.
Materials for dancing; as masques, castanets, and a ladder of ten rounds.
* This alludes to a play of Cibber's which fell after one night's representation.
+ Dennis had, a little before this, brought a tragedy upon the stage, in which he introduced a new method of making thunder. The tragedy did not succeed, but the thunder was adopted, and Dennis soon after heard it at the play of Macbeth; apon which he was very angry, and exclaimed · See how these fellows use me! They silence my tragedy, and steal my wunder.
Aurengezebe's scymitar, made by Will. Brown in Piccadilly.
A plume of feathers, never used but by Edipus and the earl of Essex.
There are also swords, halbards, sheep-hooks, car. dinals hats, turbans, drums, gallipots, a gibbet, a cradle, a rack, a cart-wheel, an altar, an helmet, a back-piece, a breast-plate, a bell, a tub, and a jointed-baby.
PRACTICAL JOKEŞ. No. 45.
I am got hither safe, but never spent time with sa little satisfaction as this evening; for you must know, I was five hours with three merry, and two honest, fellows. The former sang catches; and the latter even died with laughing at the noise they made. Well, says Tom Bellfrey, you scholars, Mr. Bickerstaff, are the worst company in the world. Ay, says his opposite, you are dull to-night; pr’ythee be merry. With that I huzzaed, and took a jump'cross the table, then came clever upon my legs, and fell a-laughing. Let Mr. Bickerstaff alone, says one of the honest fellows, when he is in a good humour, he is as good company as any man in England. He had no sooner spoke, but I snatched his hat off his head, and clapped it upon my own, and burst out a-laughing again ; upon which we all fell a-laughing for half an hour. One of the honest fellows got behind me in the interim, and hit me a sound slap on the back; upon which he got the laugh out of my hands ;-and it was such a twang