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Britain. For the prevention of which evils for the future, he instructed the jury to present the word itself as a nuisance in the English tongue ; and further promised them, that he would, upon such their preferment, publish an edict of the court, for the entire banishment and exclusion of it out of the discourses and conversations of all civil societies.
This a true copy,
Charles Lillie. Monday next is set apart for the trial of several female causes.
N. B. The case of the hassoc will come on be. tween the hours of nine and ten.'
ADDISON AND STEELE.
ALLEGORY ON DIFFERENT RELIGIONS. No. 257.
Every nation is distinguished by productions that are peculiar to it. Great Britain is particularly fruitful in religions, that shoot up and flourish in this climate more than in any other. We are so famous abroad 'for our great variety of sects and opinions, that an ingenious friend of mine, who is lately returned from his travels, assures me there is a show at this time carried up and down in Germany, which represents all the religions of Great Britain in wax-work. Notwithstanding that the pliancy of the matter in which the images are wrought makes it capable of being moulded into all shapes and figures, my friend tells me that he did not think it possible for it to be twisted and tortured into so many screwed faces, and wry features, as appeared in several of the figures that composed the show. I was indeed so pleased with the design of the German artist, VOL. I.
that I begged my friend to give me an account of it in all its particulars ; which he did after the following manier.
I have often, says he, been present at a show of elephants, camels, dromedaries, and other strange creatures, but I never saw so great an assembly of spectators as were met together at the opening of this great piece of wax-work. We were all placed in a large hall, according to the price that we paid for our seats; the curtain that hung before the show was made by a master of tapestry, who had woven it in the figure of a monstrous hydra that had several beads, which brandished out their tongues, and seemed to hiss at each other. Some of these heads were large and entire; and where any of them had been lopped away, there sprouted up several in the room of them; insomuch that, for one head cut off, a man might see ten, twenty, or a hundred of a smaller size creeping through the wound. In short, the whole picture was nothing but confusion and bloodshed. On a sudden, says my friend, I was startled with a flourish of many musical instruments that I had never heard before, which was followed by a short tune, if it might be so called, wholly made up of jars and discords. Among the rest there was an organ, a bagpipe, a groaning board, a stentorophonic trumpet, with several wind instruments of a most disagreeable sound, which I do not so much as know the names of. After a short fourish the curtain was drawn up, and we were presented with the most extraordinary as sembly of figures that ever entered into a man's imagination. The design of the workman was so well expressed in the dumb show before us, that it was not hard for an Englishman to comprehend the meaning of it,
The principal figures were placed in a row, consisting of seven persons. The middle figure, which immediately attracted the eyes of the whole company, and was much bigger than the rest, was formed like a matron, dressed in the habit of an elderly woman of quality in queen Elizabeth's days. The most remarkable parts of her dress were the beaver with the steeple crown, the scarf that was darker than sable, and the lawn apron that was whiter than ermine. Her gown was of the richest black velvet, and just upon her heart she wore several large diamonds of an inestimable value, disposed in the form of a cross. She bore an inexpressible cheerfulness and dignity in her aspect ; and, though she seemed in years, appeared with so much spirit and vivacity, as gave her at the same time an air of old age and immortality. I found my heart touched with so much love and reverence at the sight of her, that the tears ran down my
face as I looked
upon and still the more I looked upon her, the more my heart was melted with the sentiments of filial tenderness and duty. I discovered every moment something so charming in this figure, that I could scarce take my eyes off it. On its right hand there sat the figure of a woman s0 covered with ornaments, that her face, her body, and her bands, were almost entirely bid under them. The little you could see of her face was painted; and, what I thought very odd, had something in it like artificial wrinkles; but I was the less surprised at it, when I saw upon her forehead an old-fashioned tower of gray hairs. Her head-dress rose very high by three several stories or degrees; her garments had a thousand colours in them, and were embroidered with crosses in gold, silver, and silk: she had nothing on, só much as a glove or a slipper, which was not marked with this
figure ; nay, so superstitiously fond did she appear of it, that she sat cross-legged.
I was quickly sick of this tawdry composition of ribbands, silks, and jewels, and therefore cast my eye on a dame which was just ihe reverse of it.
I need not tell my reader that the lady before described was Popery, or that she I am going to describe is Presbytery. She sat on the left hand of the venerable matron, and so much resembled her in the features of her countenance, that she seemed her sister; but at the same time that one observed a likene-s in her beauty, one could not but take notice that there was something in it sickly and splenetic. Her face had enough to discover the relation ; but it was drawn up into a peevish figure, soured with discontent, and overcast with melancholy. She seemed offended at the matron for the shape of her hat, as too much resembling the triple coronet of the person who sat by her. One might see, likewise, that she dissented from the white apron
and the cross; for which reasons she had made herself a plain homely dowdy, and turned her face towards the sectaries that sat on her left hand, as being afraid of looking upon the matron, lest she should see the harlot by her.
On the right hand of Popery sat Judaism, represented by an old man embroidered with phylacteries, and distinguished by many typical figures, which I had not skill enough to unriddle. He was placed among the rubbish of a temple; but instead of weeping over it, which I should have expected from him, he was counting out a bag of money upon the ruins of it.
On his right hand was Deism, or Natural Religion. This was a figure of a half-11aked awkward country wench, who, with proper ornaments and education, would have made an agreeable and beautiful appearance; but, for want of those advantages, was such a spectacle as a man would blush to look
upon. I have now, continued my friend, given you an account of those who were placed on the right hand of the matron, and who, according to the order in which they sat, were Deism, Judaism, and Popery. On the left hand, as I told you, appeared Presbytery. The next to her was a figure which somewhat puzzled me: it was that of a man lowking, with horror in his eyes, upon a silver bason filled with water. Observing something in his countenance that looked like lunacy, I fancied, at first, that he was to express that kind of distraction which the physicians call the hydrophobia; but, considering what the intention of the show was, I immediately recollected myself, and concluded it to be Anabaptism.
The next figure was a man that sat under a most profound composure of mind: he wore a hat whose brims were exactly parallel with the horizon : his garment had neither sleeve nor skirt, nor so much as a superfluous button. What they called his cravat, was a little piece of white linen quilled with great exactness, and hanging below his chin about two inches. Seeing a book in his hand, I asked our artist what it was, who told me it was the Quakers Religion ; upon which I desired. a sight of it. Upon perusal, I found it to be nothing but a new-fashioned grammar, or an art of abridging ordinary discourse. The nouns were reduced to a very small number, as the Light, Friend, Babylon. The principal of his pronouns was Thou; and as for You, Ye, and Yours, I found they were not looked upon as parts of speech in this grammar. All the verbs wanted the second person plural; the participles ended all in Ing or Ed, which were marked with a particular accent. L 3