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dom. Supposing the person who has suffered insults in his dearer and better half,—supposing, I say, this person should resent the injuries done to his tender wife, what is the reparation he may expect? Why, to be used worse than his poor lady,-run through the body, and left breathless upon the bed of honour. What then, will you on my right hand say, must the man do that is affronted ? Must our sides be elbowed, our shins broken? Must the wall, or perhaps our mistress, be taken from us? May a man knit his forehead into a frown, toss up his arm, or pish at what we say, and must the villain live after it? Is there no redress for injured honour? Yes, gentlemen, that is the design of the judicature we have here established.
- A court of conscience, we very well know, was first instituted for the determining of several points of property that were too little and trivial for the cognizance of higher courts of justice. In the same manner, our court of honour is appointed for the examination of several niceties and punctilios that do not pass for
wrongs in the eye of our common laws. But not. withstanding no legislators of any nation have taken into consideration these little circumstances, they are such as often lead to crimes big enough for their inspection, though they come before them too late for their redress.
• Besides, I appeal to you, ladies, (here Mr. Bickerstaff turned to his left hand,) if these are not the little stings and thorns in life, that make it more uneasy than its most substantial evils ? Confess ingenuously, did you never lose a morning's devotions, because you could not offer them up from the highest place of the pew? Have you not been in pain, even at a ball, because another has been taken out to dance before
Do you love any of your friends so much as those that are below you? or, Have you any favourites that walk on your right hand? You have answered me in your looks; I ask no more. 'I come now to the second part
my discourse, which obliges me to address myself in particular to the respective members of the court, in which I shall
brief. As for you, gentlemen and ladies, my assistants and grand juries, I have made choice of you on my right hand, because I know you very jealous of your honour; and you on my left, because I know you very much concerned for the reputation of others; for which reason I expect great exactness and impartiality in your verdicts and judgments.
" I must, in the next place, address myself to you, gentlemen of the counsel. You all know that I have not chosen you for your knowledge in the litigious parts of the law, but because you have all of you formerly fought duels, of which I have reason to think you have repented, as being now settled in the peaceable state of benchers. My advice to you is only, that in your pleadings you will be short and expressive : to which end, you are to banish out of your discourses all synonymous terms, and unnecessary multiplications of verbs and nouns. I do moreover forbid you the use of the words also' and 'likewise;' and must further declare, that if I catch any one among you, upon any pretence whatsoever, using the particle 'or,' I shall instantly order him to be stripped of his gown, and thrown over the bar.'
This is a true copy,
• Charles Lillie,'
ADDISON AXD STEELE.
FREEZING OF WORDS IN NOVA ZEMBLA.
THERE are no books which I more delight in than in travels, especially those that describe remote countries, and give the writer an opportunity of showing his parts, without incurring any danger of being examined or contradicted. Among all the authors of this kind, our renowned countryman sir John Mandeville has distinguished himself by the copiousness of his invention, and the greatness of his genius. The second to sir John I take to have been Ferdinand Mendez Pinto, a person of infinite adventure and unbounded imagination. One reads the voyages of these two great wits with as much astonishment as the travels of Ulysses in Homer, or of the Redcross knight in Spenser. All is enchanted ground and fairy land.
I have got into my hands, by great chance, several manuscripts of these two eminent authors, which are filled with greater wonders than any of those they have communicated to the public; and indeed, were they not so well attested, would appear altogether improbable. I am apt to think the ingenious authors did not publish them with the rest of their works, lest they should pass for fictions and fables; a caution not unnecessary, when the reputation of their veracity was not yet established in the world. But as this reason has now no further weight, I shall make the public a present of these curious pieces, at such times as I shall find myself unprovided with other subjects.
The present paper I intend to fill with an extract of sir John's journal, in which that learned and worthy knight gives an account of the freezing and thawing accidental or a necessary qualification, I must confess I am not able to determine,
As for the court of Honour of which I am here speaking, I intend to sit myself in it as president, with several men of honour on my right hand, and women of virtue on my left, as my assistants. The first place on the bench I have given to an old Tangereen captain with a wooden leg. The second is a gentleman of a long twisted periwig without a curl in it, a muff with very little hair upon it, and a threadbare coat with new buttons ; being a person of great worth, and second brother to a man of quality. The third is a gentleman-uisher, extremely well read in romances, and grandson to one of the greatest wits in Germany, who was some time inaster of the ceremonics to the duke of Wolfembuttel.
As for those who sit further on iny right hand, as it is usual in public courts, they are such as will fill up the number of faces upon the bench, and serve rather for ornament than use.
The chief upon my left hand arc,
An old maiden lady, that prose*10t's some of the best blood of England in her veins.
A Welsh woman of a little stature, but high spirit.
An old prude, that has crnsured every marriage for these thirty years, and is lately wedded to a young rake.
Uaving thus furnished my beach, I shall (stablish correspondencies with the Horse-guards, and the veterans of Chelsca-college; the former to furnish me with twelve men of honour as oficn 14 I shall have oc. casion for a grand jury, and the latter, with as many good men and true for a petty jury. As for the women of virtue, it will not be difficolt
for me to find them about midnight at crimp and basset.
Having given this public notice of my court, I must further add, that I intend to open it on this day sevennight, being Monday the twentieth instant; and do hereby invite all such as have suffered injuries and affronts, that are not to be redressed by the common laws of this land, whether they be short bows, cold salutations, supercilious looks, unreturned smiles, distant behaviour, or forced familiarity; as also all such as have been aggrieved by any ambiguous expression, accidental justle, or unkind repartee ; likewise all such as have been defrauded of their right to the wall, tricked out of the upper end of the table, or have been suffered to place themselves, in their own wrong, on the back seat of the coach : these, and all of these, I do, as I above said, invite to bring in their several cases and complaints, in which they shall be relieved with all imaginable expedition.
I am very sensible that the office I have now taken upon me will engage me in the disquisition of many weighty points, that daily perplex the youth of the British nation, and therefore I have discussed several of them for my
future use; as, how far a man may brandish his cane in telling a story, without insulting his hearer? What degree of contradiction amounts to the lie? How a man shall resent another's staring and cocking a hat in his face? If asking pardon is an atonement for treading upon one's toes? Whether a man may put up a box on the ear, received from a stranger in the dark? Or, whether a man of honour may
take a blow of his wife? with several other subtilties of the like nature.
For my direction in the duties of my office, I have VOL. I.