with themselves. He fhews the original of these vows, and fharply inveighs against them laftly, not only corrects the falfe opinion of mankind concerning them, but gives the true doctrine of all addreffes made to heaven, and how they may be made acceptable to the Powers above, in excellent precepts, and more worthy of a Chriftian than a Heathen.
Dedicated to his friend PLOTIUS MACRINUS, on his BIRTH-DAY.
ET this aufpicious morning be expreft
With a white ftone, diftinguifh'd from the reft:
White as thy fame, and as thy honour clear;
And let new joys attend on thy new added year,
Indulge thy genius, and o'erflow thy foul,
Till thy wit fparkle, like the chearful bowl.
Pray; for thy prayers the test of heaven will bear;
Nor need't thou take the Gods afide, to hear:
While others, ev'n the mighty men of Rome,
Big fwell'd with mischief, to the temples come;
And in low murmurs, and with costly smoke,
Heaven's help, to profper their black vows, invoke.
So boldly to the Gods mankind reveal
What from each other they, for fhame, conceal.
VOL. VII.
Give me good fame, ye Powers, and make me just:
Thus much the rogue to public ears will trust:
In private then: →→ When wilt thou, mighty Jove,
My wealthy uncle from this world remove ?
Or-O thou Thunderer's fon, great Hercules,
That once thy bounteous Deity would please
To guide my rake, upon the chinking found
Of fome vaft treasure, hidden under ground!
O were my pupil fairly knock'd o' th' head;
I fhould poffefs th' estate, if he were dead!
He's fo far gone with rickets, and with th' evil,
That one small dose will fend him to the devil.
This is my neighbour Nerius 's third spouse,
Of whom in happy time he rids his house.
But my eternal wife! -Grant heaven I may
Survive to see the fellow of this day!
Thus, that thou may'st the better bring about
Thy wishes, thou art wickedly devout:
In Tyber ducking thrice, by break of day,
To wash th' obfcenities of night.away.
But pr'ythee tell me, ('tis a small request)
With what ill thoughts of Jove art thou poffeft?
Would't. thou prefer him to fome man? Suppofe
I dipp'd among the worst, and Statius chofe?
Which of the two would thy wife head declare
The truftier tutor to an orphan-heir?
Or, put it thus: - Unfold to Statius, streight,
What to Jove's ear thou didst impart of late :
He'll stare, and, O good Jupiter! will cry;
Canft thou indulge him in this villainy.!
And think'ft thou, Jove himself, with patience then
Can hear a prayer condemn'd by wicked men?
That, void of care, he lolls fupine in state,
And leaves his business to be done by fate?
Because his thunder splits fome burley-tree,
And is not darted at thy house and thee?
Or that his vengeance falls not at the time,
Juft at the perpetration of thy crime :
And makes thee a fad object of our eyes,
Fit for Ergenna's prayer and facrifice?
What well-fed offering to appease the God,
What powerful prefent to procure a nod,
Haft thou in ftore? What bribe haft thou prepar'd,
To pull him, thus unpunish'd, by the beard?
Our fuperftitions with our life begin:
Th' obfcene old grandam, or the next of kin,
The new-born infant from the cradle takes,
And first of spittle a lustration makes :
Then in the spawl her middle-finger dips,
Anoints the temples, forehead, and the lips,
Pretending force of magic to prevent,
By virtue of her nasty excrement.
Then dandles him with many a mutter'd prayer
That heaven would make him fome rich mifer's heir,
Lucky to ladies, and in time a king;
Which to enfure, the adds a length of navel-ftring.
But no fond nurfe is fit to make a prayer:
And Jove, if Jove be wife, will never hear;
Not though the prays in white, with lifted hands:
A body made of brafs the crone demands
For her lov'd nurfling, ftrung with nerves of wire,
Tough to the laft, and with no toil to tire:
Unconscionable vows, which when we ufe,
We teach the Gods, in reason, to refuse.
Suppofe they were indulgent to thy with:
Yet the fat entrails, in the fpacious dish,
Would stop the grant: the very over-care
And naufeous pomp, would hinder half the prayer.
Thou hop'ft with facrifice of oxen slain
To compafs wealth, and bribe the God of gain,
To give thee flocks and herds, with large increase i
Fool! to expect them from a bullock's grease!
And think'st that, when the fatten'd flames afpire,
Thou feeft th' accomplishment of thy defire!
Now, now, my bearded harveft gilds the plain,
The fcanty folds can fearce my sheep contain,
And showers of gold come pouring in amain !
Thus dreams the wretch, and vainly thus dreams on,
Till his lank purfe declares his money gone.
Should I prefent them with rare figur'd plate,
Or gold as rich in workmanship as weight;
O how thy rifing heart would throb and beat,
And thy left fide, with trembling pleasure, fweat!
Thou measur'ft by thyself the Powers Divine;
Thy Gods are burnish'd gold, and filver is their shrine..
Thy puny Godlings of inferior race,
Whofe humble ftatues are content with brass,
Should fome of thefe, in vifions purg'd from phlegm,
Foretel events, or in a morning dream;
Ev'n those thou would'st in veneration hold;
And, if not faces, give them beards of gold.
The priests in temples, now, no longer care
For Saturn's brafs, or Numa's earthen-ware;
Or veftal urns, in each religious rite:
This wicked gold has put them all to flight.
O fouls, in whom no heavenly fire is found,
Fat minds, and ever groveling on the ground!
We bring our manners to the blest abodes,
And think what pleafes us muft please the Gods.
Of oil and caffia one th' ingredients takes,
And, of the mixture, a rich ointment makes :
Another finds the way to dye in grain;
And makes Calabrian wool receive the Tyrian stain;
Or from the fhells their orient treafure takes,
Or, for their golden ore, in rivers rakes;
Then melts the mafs: all these are vanities!
Yet ftill fome profit from their pains may rife:
But tell me, prieft, if I may be so bold,
What are the Gods the better for this gold?
The wretch that offers from his wealthy ftore
These prefents, bribes the Powers to give him more;
As maids to Venus offer baby-toys,
To blefs the marriage-bed with girls and boys.
But let us for the Gods a gift prepare,
Which the great man's great charges cannot bear:
A foul, where laws both human and divine,
In practice more than fpeculation fhine:
A genuine virtue, of a vigorous kind,
Pure in the laft receffes of the mind:
When with fuch offerings to the Gods I come,
A cake, thus given, is worth a hecatomb.
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