Ethelstone. Oh, I beg pardon. Coffee, Sirs,

To wake me.

Attendants. And here's another score of 'em ;
Deny, Sir, all that's swore of 'em.

Ethelstone. Of course.

I'll hear no more of 'em,

Deuce take me.

30

The police-officers are dismissed; and the assaulted man dies a few days afterwards.

Three poor boys, of very tender years, are brought in by a police-officer. for sleeping in brick-kilns.

Ethelstone. Brick-kilns! Oh, ho! you'd warm it, eh?

Why, what a gross enormity!
What spiritual deformity!

It's hell-like.

The loyal wants no weather-bed,
Hot brick-kiln or hard heather-bed;
But lays him on his feather-bed,

All swell like.

The mother of one of the boys entreats forgiveness for him, telling the Reverend Magistrate that the boy is a very good little boy, and that she has a numerous family.

Ethelstone. If there's no room to sleep at home,

Or if with cold ye creep at home,
Yet still they'd all best keep at home;

Mind that now:

40

A NEW CHAUNT,

WRITTEN EXPRESSLY FOR THOSE TRULY TAKING SINGERS, THE HEAD CHORISTERS IN ST. STEPHEN'S CHAPEL; BY THEIR MOST DEVOTED AND HUMBLE BEADSMAN, HARRY BROWN.

[N.B. To the lovers of Social Order and Holy Altars. This new and edifying chaunt is to be sung to the tune of 'Moderation', in the profane play intituled the Iron Chest, in case it chanceth not to inspire the harmonious Muse of Master Samuel Wesley, Master Vincent Novello, or some other grave and witty musician, learned upon the organ-pipe.]

[First published in The Examiner, November 7, 1819; not reprinted.]

FIRST of all, in order to give a convenient finish to our impudence and collusion,

We'll buy and sell seats so openly, that it shall put no true gentleman to confusion;

And we'll put soldiers all about instead of constables, like our good promise making friend the Prussian;

And keep all good and knowing things to ourselves, like a close Rosicrucian; And swear nobody should ever get children, but those who starve other people's, each like a true Malthusian ;

And pin down the great body of Englishmen as if it were GULLIVER, each like a super-eminent Lilliputian;

And be so extremely irresponsible, that it will be no sort of use to ask us why we pull down

The Constitution-Constitution;

And so pull down the Glorious Constitution.

And when we have done all this, should the people still object, we'll threaten them with retribution;

10

And we'll put unpopular speeches into the Prince's mouth, to give our own unpopularity a convenient division if not diminution;

And having taxed away the people's dinners, we'll tax away their tea, in order to bring their remaining courage to a conclusion;

And if they dare nevertheless to meet again, we'll deliver them with a vengeance,—namely, up to execution;

Man, woman, and child,—not a soul that comes in our way shall that pretty review shun;

And we'll make the Prince thank us for it without knowing anything of the matter, and delay and deny justice, and treat every approach to the throne as an intrusion;

And we'll give a kick to some old Whig lord by way of beginning, and have a Revolution-Revolution

And so we'll have a Glorious Revolution.

MEMORY AND WANT OF MEMORY.

OR

RATHER NO THAN YES

[First published in The Examiner, August 27, 1820; not reprinted.]

COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF YOUR name's Majocchi ?' Signor, si.'

You swear on what's before ye
To tell the truth impartially?
O yes, Sair-Si, Signore.'

You swear, the Queen-'Oh Signor,
si'-

Would shock both Whig and Tory, Would shock Lord A, and shock Lord B?

'O yes, Sair-Si, Signore.'

You swear she is 'Oh Signor, si '

Deserving the pillory,

She loves so very illegally?

'I do, Sair-Si, Signore.'

COUNSEL FOR THE DEFENDANT Now look at me- Oh Signor, si 'Pray who gives you your board O, And when did you last take your tea? 'Oh, Sair-Non mi ricordo.'

33

You say the Queen-'Oh Signor, si '-
Slept so and so on board O,
Where might the other bed-rooms
be?

'Oh, Sair-Non mi ricordo.'

You knew the maids-'Oh Signor, si'

Now when the ship was moored O, Where did they sleep? Or Captain

P. ?

Or Briggs? Non mi ricordo.'

40

Was good-quite made to charm ye'Yes,-No; No,-Yes; more I than

me

Non posso ricordarmi.'

Now look at me-' Oh Signor, si
Was ever brute abhorred O,
Or did you ever live and be ?—
'I-I-Non mi ricordo.'

AN EXCELLENT SCOTCH PARODY

TO BE SUNG BY ALL LOYAL AND LOVING NORTH BRITONS, FROM MAIDEN KIRK
TO JOHN O' GROATS

[First published in The Examiner, September 3, 1820; not reprinted.]
AIR.-Tibby Fowler o' the Glen

There's ower mony wooing at her.

CARY BRUNSWICK o' the Guelph

There's ower mony swearing at her;

Cary Brunswick o' the Guelph,

There's ower mony swearing at her;
Swearing at her, spying at her,
Lying at her, what's the matter?
Merry elf! It's for the pelf,,
That a' the louts are swearing at her.
Scores come east, and scores come south,
A' came rowing o'er the water,
A', puir sauls! to speak the truth;
So three and forty's swearing at her,
Swearing at her, trothing at her,
Oathing, loathing, cloathing at her;

Filthy brutes! it's for new boots,
That a' the rogues are swearing at her.

Fie upon the filthy louns!

There's ower mony swearing at her;
Fifteen came frae German towns;

There's eight and fifty swearing at her;
Swearing at her, mumbling at her,
Tumbling at her, canna hit her;

Tawdry louns! its for new gowns,
The hizzies a' are swearing at her.
Be a lassie ne'er sae kind,

ΤΟ

20

Gin a King but frown upon her,

She might live till ninety-nine,

E'er a courtier wad smile on her;

Swearing at her, getting fatter,

Turning from her, crying 'Damn her!'
Church and King! a pretty thing,
Wi' sic an anti-christian clatter!

Be a lassie ne'er sae foul,

Gie her but the name o' Regent,

And were her throne a cutty-stool,1

E'en Church wad be her maist obedient;
Booing at her, wooing at her,
Praying, Yea-ing, Nay-ing at her,

Were she fatter than King Batter,
They wad a' be dressing at her.

30

40

HARRY BROWN.

A stool of repentance, on which Scotchmen, who are too poor to imitate princes with impunity, are made to stand in a symbolical sheet. [H.]