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W HITS HED'S * Μ Ο Τ Τ Ο
ON HIS COACH. 1724.
LIBERTAS et natale folum :
Fine words! I wonder where you stole 'em. Could nothing but thy chief reproach Serve for a motto on thy coach ? But let me now the words translate : Natale folum, my My dear estate, how well I love it! My tenants,
if you doubt, will prove its
They swear I am so kind and good,
I hug them, till I squeeze their blood.
Libertas bears a large import :
First, how to swagger in a court ;,
And, secondly, to fhew my fury
Against an un-complying jury;
And, thirdly, 'tis a new invention,
To favour Wood, and keep my pension ;
And, fourthly, 'tis to play an odd trick,
Get the great seal, and turn out Broderick ;
And, fifthly, (you know whom I mean)
To humble that vexatious Dean;
And, fixthly, for my soul, to barter it
For fifty times its worth to Carteret to.
* The chicf justice who prosecuted the Drapier:. + Lord lieutenant of Ireland.
your motto thus you construe,
I must confess you ’ve spoken once true.
Libertas et natale solum :
You had good reason, when you stole 'em.
Sent by Dr. DEL ANY to Dr. SWIFT, In order to be adinitted to speak to him,
when he was DE AF, 1724. DEAR
EAR sir, I think 'tis doubly hard,
Your ears and doors should both be barr'd.
Can any thing. be more unkind ?
Must I not see, 'cause you are blind ?
Methinks a friend at night should cheer you,
A friend that loves to see and hear you.
Why am I robb’d of that delight,
When you can be no loser by 't ?
Nay, when ʼtis plain (for what is plainer ?)
That, if you heard, you'd be no gainer?
For sure you are not yet to learn,
That hearing is not your concern.
Then be your doors no longer barrd :
Your business, sir, is to be heard.
T H E A N S W E R..
THE wise pretend to make it clear,
'Tis no great loss to lose an ear. Why are we then so fond of two, When by experience one would do ?
'Tis true, say they, cut off the head,
And there's an end; the man is dead;
Because, among all human race,
None e'er was known to have a brace :
But confidently they maintain,
That where we find the rnembers twain, .
The loss of one is no such trouble,
Since t'other will in strength be double. .
'The limb surviving, you may swear,
Becomes his brother's lawful heir :
Thus, for a trial, let me beg of
Your reverence but to cut one leg off,
shall find, by this device
The other will be stronger twice ;
For every day you shall be gaining
New vigour to the leg remaining.
So, when an eye has lost its brother,
You see the better with the other.
Cut off your hand, and you may do
With t'other hand the work of two:
Because the soul her power contractsy.
And on the brother limb re-acts.
the point is not so clear in:
Another cafe, the sense of hearing :
For, though the place of either ear
Be distant, as one head can bear;
Yet Galen most acutely shews you,
(Consult his book de partium usu)
That from each ear, as he observes,
There creep two auditory nerves,
Not to be seen without a glass,
Which near the os petrosum pass ;
Thence to the neck; and moving thorow there
One goes to this, and one to t'other ear;
Which made my grand-dame always stuff her ears,,
Both right and left, as fellow-sufferers.
You see my learning; but, to Thorten it,
my left ear was deaf a fortnight,
To t'other ear I felt it coming on :
And thus I solve this hard phænomenon.
'Tis true, a glass will bring supplies
To weak, or old, or clouded
Your arms, though both your eyes were lost,
Would guard your nose against a post:
Without your legs, two legs of wood
Are stronger and almost as good :
And as för hands, there have been those
Who, wanting both, have us’d their toes
But no contrivance yet appears
To furnish artificial ears.
A QUIET LIFE AND A GOOD NAME,
To a Friend who married a Shrew, 1724. -NELL scolded in so loud a din,
That Will durst hardly venture in :: He markt the conjugal dispute ; Nell roar'd incessant, Dick sat mute; *There have been instances of a man's writing with his foot.
But, when he saw his friend appear,
Cry'd bravely, Patience, good my dear!
At sight of Will, the bawld no more,
But hurry'd out, and clapt the door.
Why Dick! the devil's in thy Nell,
(Quoth Will) thy house is worse than hell :
Why what a peal the jade has rung!
D-n her, why don't you sit her tongue ?
For nothing else will make it cease.
Dear Will, I suffer this for peace :
I never quarrel with my wife;
I bear it for a quiet life.
Scripture, you know, exhorts us to is;
Bids us to seek peace, and ensue it.
Will went again to vifit Dick;
And entering in the very nick,
He saw virago Nell belabour,
With Dick's own statf, his peaceful neighbour :
Poor Will, who needs must interpose,
Receiv'd a brace or two of blows.
But now, to make my story short,
Will drew out Dick to take a quart.
Why, Dick, thy wife has devilish whims;
Ods-buds! why don't you break her limbs?
If she were mine, and liad such tricks,
I'd teach her how to handle sicks:
2-ds! I would ship her to Jamaica, .
Or truck the carrion for tobacco :
I'd send her far enough away-
Dear Will; but what would people say?