warthy soul a glass o' grog; or may- A furious lion in battle-so let him; Yes, he'd a heart that could feel for another: and there's not a Tar in Greenwich moorings but reverences his name, for he was their father and their friend: but he's gone (as the chaplain used to tell us,) he's gone the way of all flesh, and poor Joe, too, has lost the number of his mess. He was made a Boatswain before his death, and then he got married; for he said a Boatswain's warrant wan't worth a rush without the parson's spliced to the end on't, and no Boatswain could carry on duty without a mate. But, somehow or other, it proved a misfortunate appointment; for Mrs. Snatchblock, as soon as the commission was read, topp'd the officer over him, and wanted to be Master. "No, no, (says he) Mrs. S., every man to his station, and the cook by the main-sheet. I've fought for my rating, and I'll keep it." But, bless ATHENEUM VOL. 2. 2d series. 21 your heart, what's the use of boasting when the ladies are determined to have their own way, why, d'ye see, she fought for it too; and as for rating, why she'd rate him all day long, till at last poor Joe gave in; and it was found one morning that he had died in his birth, without a friendly hand to close his sky-lights. I can remember him when he used to sit in the box abaft the skipper, smiling and happy as long as he could see every one else so. After he left the Bellyquekes, he was Coxswain to Tommy P-, when he commanded the Le Juste, and was a great favourite with his captain. One 4th of June (that's the King's birth-day-good old George that's dead and gone,) all the senior officers of the fleet went ashore from Spithead, rigged out in full uniform, to pay their respects to the commander-in-chief. The tide was ebbing strong out of Portsmouth harbour, and many of the boats landed their captains upon South Sea Beach. Capt. P-was one of the number; and he and Jce made sail for the admiral's house, through the arched gateway under the ramparts. Well, just as they hauled their wind round the corner by the Marine Barracks, an immense monster of a drayman, with à sack of wet grains on his shoulder, run designedly right aboard of the Captain, and plastered his gold laced coat with sanctum smearem. This was abominably provoking; so Tommy hove too, and remonstrated with the fellow on his brutality, but he only answered with a volley of curses and abuse. Up comes Joe, like a first rate with a free sheet, lightens the him without so much as by your gemman of his cargo, and capsizes leave. Howsomever, up he roused again in a minute, and Joe stood all ready to strap a block with him; but, "hold, avast! (cried P-) the quarrel's mine; I want no man to fight for me. As for you, y' unmannerly scoundrel, I'll; but come along, come along ;" and so he cotched hold of his arm, and some of the marines the other, and took him into the barrack-yard. A ring was formed, and when the fellow found 'twas in earn est, he began to mumble excuses, like a witch saying her prayers. "No, no, (says Tommy) you insulted me like a blackguard, and now you shall have blackguard's play for it." So he unbuckles his sword, and dowses his coat and hat, while the drayman stripped ship to bare-poles. Joe claimed the honour of standing by this officer, and took his station second-him-heart-him, as they say in the classics; and a companion performed the same office for his opponent, who expected to make a mere plaything of the captain, and displayed his two enormous fists, like a couple of sixty-eight pounders: but he little thought who he had to deal with. The first round the skipper made him hop; for though the brewer was by far the more powerful man, and showed ribs like a seventy-four, yet Tommy possessed science, and worked round him like a cooper round a cask, making his mash-tub rattle again. Round after round followed to the great amusement of the Royals, and the heady-fication of the brewer, who began to get all in a work, and couldn't give it vent. At last, in the fourteenth round, Tommy lapp'd him on the nose, and that was a cooler (one of his eyes was already bunged up,) so he drew off and gave in, after being soundly thrashed to his heart's content. The captain clapped on his rigging again, and bore up for one of the officer's births, where he got his forecastle swabb'd and his gear refitted ; and then off he set again, with a comely black eye, to wait upon the admiral. The tale was told, and orders about to be issued for a warrant to apprehend the man ; but Captain P— (who considered he had already received punishment enough) requested that he might be left to his own painful roomynations and the cure of his bruises. But I have been spinning you a long yarn, Mr. What's-your-name, and all about nothing, for the barge's crew was what I meant to talk about. Ah! that's the subject nearest my heart; it connects all the remembrances of early life and old friends. Howsomever, I shall see you again, and then you shall have all their histories from beginning to end. AN OLD SAILOR.* *At this dead time of the year, we take up our lively "Old Sailor" again with pleasure; and we dare hope that his Barge's Crew will be welcome to our friends. So let him show them up, as he says, after the classics, "second-him heart-him."-Ed. FACETIE BIBLIOGRAPHICE. OR, The Old English Jesters. A BANQVET OF IEAS IS. OR CHANGE OF CHEARE. BEING A COLLECTION OF MODERNE JESTS WITTY JEERES PLEASANT TAUNTS MERRY TALES NEUER BEFORE IMPRINTED. LONDON, PRINTED FOR RICHARD ROYSTON, AND ARE TO BE SOLD AT HIS SHOP IN IVIELANE NEXT THE EXCHEQUER-OFFICE. 1630. Duodecimo, containing 192 pages, besides title, index, and preliminary matter, 22. The following extracts are taken from the first edition. Of a Country Man and a Constable. (1.) A simple country-man hauing terme business in London, and being somewhat late abroad in the night, was staid by a constable, and somewhat harshly entreated. The podre man obseruing how imperiously he commanded him, demanded of him what hee was? to whom he replyed, "I am the constable, and this is my watch." "And I pray you, sir, for whom watch you?" saith the man. "Marry (answered the constable,) watch for the king." "For the king?" replyes he againe simply, "then I beseech you, sir, that I may pass quietly and peaceably by you to my lodg ing, for I can bring you a certificate from some of my neighbours who are now in towne, that I am no such man. A Young Heire. (14.) A young heire not yet come to age, but desirous to bee suited with other gallants, and to bee furnisht with money and commodities to the purpose, the creditor demanded his bond: hee granted it conditionally, that his father should not know of it, therefore wisht it to bee done very priuately. Vpon this promise all things were concluded, and the time came when he should seale it. But when hee beganne to read in the beginning of the bond nouerint vniversi-Bee it knowne vnto all men-he cast away the bond, and absolutely refused to seale it, saying, "if it be knowne vnto all men, how can it possibly bee, but it must come to my father's ears ?" Oue travelling to Rome. (22.) A gentleman of England trauelling with his man to Rome, desirous to see all fashions, but especially such rarities as were there to be seene, was, by the mediation of some friends there resident, admitted into the Pope's presence; to whom his holinesse offered his foote to kisse, which the gentle man did with great submission and reuerence. This his man seeing, and not be fore acquainted with the like ceremony, presently makes what speed he can to get out of the presence; which some of the wayters espying, and suspecting his hast, stayd him, and demanded the cause of his so suddaine speed; but the more they importune him, the more he prest to be gone : but being further vrged, he made this short answer-truely, saith he, this is the cause of my feare, that if they compell my mas 163 ter, being a gentleman, to kisse the Pope's foote, I feare what part they will make me kisse, being but his serving man. A young Master of Arts. (44.) A young master of art the very next day after the commencement, hauing his course to common place in the chappell, where were diuers that the day before had took their degree, tooke his text out of the eighth chapter of Iob, the words were these; "We are but of yesterday, and know nothing." This text (saith he) doth fitly diuide it selfe into two branches, our standing, and our understanding; our standing in these words, wee are but of yesterday, our vnderstanding, we know nothing. A Welch Reader. (116.) A Welchman reading the chapter of the genealogie, where Abraham begat Isaac, and Isaac begat Jacob, ere he came to the midst hee found the names so difficult, that he broke off in these words" and so they begat one another till they came to the end of the chapter." ORIGINAL POETRY. I cannot love yon gentle flow'r, I hear them praise its beauteous form, THE LILY. The clay-cold breast of CATHRINE dead.* Then Fancy pictures all the past, The death-bed scene, the dying groan; The face, where beauty fled so fast; The eye, whose every beam was flown; The placid smile; the marble brow, Shaded with dark and glossy hair; The lips, where life's last feeble glow Had left the rose expiring there. They deck'd with flowers the silent clay; In her cold hand the jasmine lay, I gaz'd upon my sister's face, And trembling stood in fear and dread: Nothing of CATH'RINE could I trace In that pale form, so still and dead. * The author's elder sister, who died in the 18th year of her age. Oh monstrous-oh strange-we are haunted! Pray, masters, fly—masters, help !—Mid. Night's Dr. ed in Irish superstition-something qui donne de la joie dans la peur. We have no witches-none of those ugly, ill favoured, earthly realities, which brutalize and stupify the minds of a portion of our own boors; but there is scarce a hill, a lough, a dingle, a fort, or an old ruin, which does not call up within the peasant's mind some wild and poetically fearful association. Knuck Fierna. The hill of the fairies. This is the loftiest mountain in the county of Limerick, and lifts its double peak on the Southern side, pretty accurately, I believe, dividing it from Cork. Numberless are the tales related of this hill by the carmen who have been benighted near it on their return from the latter city, which is the favourite market for the produce of their dairies. That there is a Siobrug or fairy castle in the Mount, no one in his senses presumes to entertain a doubt. On the summit of the highest peak is an unfathomable well, which is held in very great veneration by the peasantry. It is by some supposed to be the entrance to the court of their tiny mightinesses. A curious fellow at one time had the hardihood to cast a stone down the orifice; and then casting himself on his face and hands, and leaning over the brink, waited to ascertain the falsity of this supposition by the reverberation, which he doubt ed not would soon be occasioned by the missile reaching the bottom. But he met with a fate scarcely less tragical than that of poor Pug, who set fire to the match of a cannon, and then must needs run to the mouth to see the shot go off. Our speculator had his messenger returned to him with a force that broke the bridge of his nose, locked up both his eyes, and sent him down the hill at the rate of four furlongs per second, at the foot of which he was found senseless next morning. King Finvar's Cattle. Between this mountain and the river Shannon there is a small lake, concerning which a very extraordinary report was circulated a few years back. Some people indeed may imagine it a little too improbable to lend a very ready credence to it, but I can assure them that its veracity was not even questioned at the time it took place. The lake or lough to which I allude is a very pretty one, although it is disfigured on one side by a piece of ugly bog. On the East, it is overlooked by a hill which makes a very sudden descent on its bank; but the slope is delightfully covered with mountain ash, birch, and hazel trees, so as to form a very pleasant contrast to the dreary flat opposite. At the northern end of the water, among patches of rude crag, and occasional spots of green, a few thatched hovels or cabins are huddled together, so as to form a something indescribably miserable in appearance, which is dignified with the appellation of a village it is called Killimicat. Not very far from this, and on the borders of the lake-But what are these stories worth if taken out of the mouth of the original narrator? I shall give this to you as I had it myself:-“ You see that little meadow there overright us, Sir,-that was the little spot that Morty Shannon took from the master. Morty was a snug sculog then, and very well to do there, as I hear; but a stronger man than he was could not stand any thing of a loss in such times as they were. Morty wondered what was it that used to spoil the growth of his meadow. There was no sign of trespass from the neighbours, for the bounds were good, and their cattle were all spancelled. But so it was sorrow bit of grass did he ever cut on the field for : A famous fairy monarch. Old Raths. two years. At last, knowing it to be a dry summer. This report is quite a good bit of ground, he resolved to as well attested as the other. sit up of a night to see what was used to be there: and so he did, himself and his two sons. About twelve o'clock, as they were standing, as it might be this way, what should they see rising out of the lake only a fine big cow and seven heifers, and they making towards his little field. Tha guthine says Morty to himself, 'is this the way of it?" So he beckoned to his sons to come betune them and the lake, and turn them into the pound. The old cow seen what they were about, and, without ever spaking a word, made a dart right between the two sons and into the water with her. But the heifers they drove home, and inclosed them in a paddock, where they staid for a year; until one evening the gorsoon forgot to lock the gate, when they all made off into the lake, and were never heard of more." It is said that there is a magnificent palace under this water, one of whose turrets is visible above the surface in These very ancient places are a favourite haunt of the elves; and woe to the hardy man who dares to apply the axe or the spade to tree, shrub, or soil, in these hallowed spots. They the face of the country, and form are very numerously scattered over of landholders, who have acquired wit great eye-sores to the improving class enough to contemn the superstition, but lack courage to adventure first in the cause of common sense. I knew one stout man who lost an eye in the attempt to root out an old thorn one of these places; another who had a fine meadow turned up and destroyed for his pains; and a third, who declared that the very night after he had superintended an exploit of a similar kind, he saw three siteogs, in the shape of strapping bucaughs, take each a cleave of turf from the reek in front of his house. The reality of this latter appearance I was not at all inclined to question. 0. on ENGLISH OPERA. The almost unequalled success of Der Freischutz having thrown the novelties prepared for this Theatre a little into arrear, the Proprietor favoured us with two new pieces on the same evening-Jonathan in England, and The Frozen Lake; the former the acknowledged production of Mr. Peake, and the latter attributed, and we believe correctly, to Mr. Planche. Jonathan in England, as its title implies, contains the adventures of that entertaining character during a visit to this country. He is first introduced to us at Liverpool, accompanied by his Nigger, whom he is anxious to 66 swop for a pony,' or dispose of for a certain number of dollars. Here he delivers his "uncle Ben's" letter of introduction, and after getting turned out of the "Waterloo Hotel," for smoking, and brawling with his sable attendant, and meeting with some very absurd and improbable adventures at another inn to which he has thought proper to retire, procures a further recommendation and starts for the metropolis. It so happens, however, that the same gentleman who has recommended our friend Jonathan to Alderman Grossfeeder, has also sent him a postillion, one Natty Larkspur, who is anxious to succeed to the "vacant saddle" of his predecessor; and in the confusion which took place at the inn, in which Natty was a principal performer, the letters having got exchanged, the American, on his arrival, is taken for the Post-Boy, and "wicey wasey." Here, in the Alderman's family, we are favoured with some amusing equivoque, until the mystery is cleared up, and the characters and persons of Jonathan and the Postillion satisfactorily identified. Mathews, for whom the piece was expressly written, laboured hard for its success, and threw all his little comicalities with great effect into the part of Jonathan; but the principal deficiency is a want of something to do. The phraseology of the character we are already familiarized to, and so far the novelty of the thing is a little worn off. It required therefore to be strengthened by a certain number of ludicrous or ingenious selections to render it additionally entertaining, and as these are but sparingly supplied by the author, the effect is not exactly what we had anticipated, and Jonathan's adventures are, upon the whole, far from satisfactory. The best attempt at character in the piece, is that of the "swan-hopping Alderman ;" and the American's interview with the City knight, who is himself a bit of a wag, is very diverting. Keeley had a whimsical little part assigned him, which he played with his accustomed naivete; but the mistakes arising from his intrusion into the traveller's bed-room, have been |