Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating

Penguin, 24.01.2013 . - 272
If online dating can blunt the emotional pain of separation, if adults can afford to be increasingly demanding about what they want from a relationship, the effect of online dating seems positive. But what if its also the case that the prospect of finding an ever more compatible mate with the click of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, a paradox of choice that keeps us chasing the illusive bunny around the dating track?

Its the mother of all search problems: how to find a spouse, a mate, a date. The escalating marriage age and declining marriage rate mean were spending a greater portion of our lives unattached, searching for love well into our thirties and forties.

Its no wonder that a third of Americas 90 million singles are turning to dating Web sites. Once considered the realm of the lonely and desperate, sites like eHarmony, Match, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish have been embraced by pretty much every demographic. Thanks to the increasingly efficient algorithms that power these sites, dating has been transformed from a daunting transaction based on scarcity to one in which the possibilities are almost endless. Now anyoneyoung, old, straight, gay, and even marriedcan search for exactly what they want, connect with more people, and get more information about those people than ever before.

As journalist Dan Slater shows, online dating is changing society in more profound ways than we imagine. He explores how these new technologies, by altering our perception of whats possible, are reconditioning our feelings about commitment and challenging the traditional paradigm of adult life.

Like the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 70s, the digital revolution is forcing us to ask new questions about what constitutes normal: Why should we settle for someone who falls short of our expectations if there are thousands of other options just a click away? Can commitment thrive in a world of unlimited choice? Can chemistry really be quantified by math geeks? As one of Slaters subjects wonders, Whats the etiquette here?

Blending history, psychology, and interviews with site creators and users, Slater takes readers behind the scenes of a fascinating business. Dating sites capitalize on our quest for love, but how do their creators ideas about profits, morality, and the nature of desire shape the virtual worlds theyve created for us? Should we trust an industry whose revenue model benefits from our avoiding monogamy?

Documenting the untold story of the online-dating industrys rise from ignominy to ubiquitybeginning with its early days as computer dating at Harvard in 1965Slater offers a lively, entertaining, and thought provoking account of how we have, for better and worse, embraced technology in the most intimate aspect of our lives.

 

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LibraryThing Review

  - John_Pappas - LibraryThing

Good overview of the theory, history and present state on online dating. Trailed off with the future. Overall, an enjoyable, easy read for single and coupled alike. This wild pair nicely with "A Billion Wicked Thoughts."

LOVE IN THE TIME OF ALGORITHMS: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating

  - Kirkus

A thorough examination of online dating sites.Finding a companion in life has never been an easy task. In fact, as Fast Company contributor Slater writes, "for virtually all of human history the ...

TITLE PAGE
CHAPTER
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE Better Relationships butMoreDivorce
CHAPTER
CHAPTER SEVEN
Like Everyone ImLooking forMy True Love
The Battle of Least Interested
EPILOGUE
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
INDEX

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 (2013)

DAN SLATER is a widely published author of journal-ism and creative nonfiction. A former legal affairs reporter for The Wall Street Journal, he is currently a contributor to Fast Company and has written for The New York Times, The Washington Post, New York Magazine, and GQ. Slater is a graduate of Colgate University and Brooklyn Law School.